borelandkaren Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 Isn't it funny how one persons' dream is anothers' nightmare? Sedge, to me this bloke sounds revolting. To you, mine would be a feral. You really need to keep in mind that the way that everyone is looking at this guy is through the eyes you have given us. Maybe you need to start viewing him through those eyes too? Through true eyes.
Kamille Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 Dear Sedge, I've been wishing for so long that you would stop putting so much effort into trying to understand how someone could break your heart because you are not a musician. I think your ex left because he was incapable of caring for anything other then music; and therefore incapable of being supportive of your acheivements. I think he is narcissistic. I think, for instance, that he could never date a musician who is better then him, because he couldn't stand to not be the center of his passion. Even if you were a musician, it would have had to be all about him. But that's his weakness Sedge, not yours. You shouldn't even consider having to sacrifice your passions for someone else's. I think the reason you are so hung up is that you were already vulnerable in the relationship before the break up. He managed to make that R all about him : you have mentionned before that you took great care of him because he was incapable of taking care of himself. I always wondered how and when he would take care of you? Was he supportive of you Sedge? Or was this R all about him?
sunshinegirl Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 Sedge, don't you want to be with a man who values, respects, and celebrates YOUR achievements and passions? Why do you feel like you should have done a better job of twisting yourself into the pretzel he wanted you to be? You need a guy who is blown away by your talent, who supports and loves and is excited about your dance and writing dreams and accomplishments. Can you picture having that kind of guy? Your ex sounds like a major asshat.
Author sedgwick Posted June 3, 2008 Author Posted June 3, 2008 Everybody...I appreciate it so much. Thank you, thank you. I wrote this big long thing earlier to all of you and my computer crashed. Then I had to go to a long rehearsal, and I just got home. Having not slept last night, I am wiped out tonight. Thank god. I'm going to eat and pass out. I just saw a video of the company doing a new choreography -- we taped it Thursday night in rehearsal. I was shocked to see that I didn't look any less capable than anyone else onstage. Amazing. Dance is so magical. It makes me so happy to know I can do that, whether he thinks anything of it or not. *I* think bellydance is sexy, even if he doesn't. And this choreography is hard. And I learned it. Huzzah. I'm also going back and rereading lots of Faulkner. I fu*king love William Faulkner. Today I got choked up over one passage that was just so incredible -- the fact that words can be put together that beautifully is the closest thing I know to god. I feel sorry for anyone who can't appreciate the beauty of literature AND dance AND music! How sad not to be able to recognize yourself in any art form but your own. In that way, I feel sorry for him.
Nevermind Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 In that way, I feel sorry for him. Yes!! This is great news, sedgewick!
Author sedgwick Posted June 3, 2008 Author Posted June 3, 2008 Well, it's true. I do. He has a good friend (also a musician, naturally) who is very well-read, and the first time I met this friend we started talking about books, and Joe just kind of sat there. He didn't know any of the authors we were talking about. He read, but not much. He never had time. The idea of just spending an afternoon curled up with a good book was totally foreign to him -- he could never have slowed down that long or devoted that much time to something that wasn't music. And to me, that's sad, because I think curling up with a good book is one of the great pleasures available to us as humans.
carrotgirl Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 Hush a bye Sedgwick. Get some sleep and replenish. Dream lovely dreams about mashed potatoes and rhubarb pies. Can you lucid dream yourself into a trip to Mexico and start a new book maybe? Carrot
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