Readhawk Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 Before I start, I'm not a shmuck. I don't go to bars to hit on barmaids like a creep. I know they are doing their job and they are there to make money. I also know that many of them make money off of guys who think they have a shot with them and feed them obsecene tips all night. So for the record, I tipped her like a normal person (25%). With that said, it seemed like both times I ordered from her (only twice), she went out of her way to serve me. This was a VERY loud and crowded bar. It seemed between my first and second order I caught her looking at me quite a few times. So when I ordered the second time (in which she served me almost immediately), when she was giving me my change back I grabbed her hand and asked her what her name was simultaneously. I didn't offer my name, but she didn't ask for it either. Right there, the fact that she didn't ask what my name was, does that mean she was not interested? Or did it mean nothing? One problem is that this bar is basically a Friday-Saturday nightspot...so it's not as if you drop by there during the week for fun. So the only time I would be able to talk to her is when she's working in a crowded and busy environment. I know it's a longshot, but she was beautiful with a beautiful smile. She wasn't one of those skanky barmaids who has fake boobs and all that. So I mean, what now? Do I show up there again and try talking to her again? Or once she didn't ask me what my name was did that mean it was a lost cause? Any advice would be appreciated.
Lizzie60 Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 I say go back.. check her out.. I like that you grabbed her hand.. that would have turn me on really bad.. if, of course, I was attracted to the guy... so I say this time, grab her hand again and tell her that you think she's got a beautiful smile.. You'll get the feeling whether she's interested or not.. ask her out.. I love men that are 'blunt' and 'agressive'...
Author Readhawk Posted June 2, 2008 Author Posted June 2, 2008 I say go back.. check her out.. I like that you grabbed her hand.. that would have turn me on really bad.. if, of course, I was attracted to the guy... so I say this time, grab her hand again and tell her that you think she's got a beautiful smile.. You'll get the feeling whether she's interested or not.. ask her out.. I love men that are 'blunt' and 'agressive'... Thanks for the quick response. On another board I posted this on a girl said that grabbing her hand would've "creeped her out." It's interesting that you say it would turn you on (if you were attracted to the guy). In regards to the "beautiful smile" line, you don't think that's corny? Especially in a crowded bar. I'm not saying it is, I'm just running it past you. I guess why I'm in doubt and hesitant are because, well the obvious, that most bartenders are just there to make money. The other is the fact that she didn't even ask me what my name was and was just on her way (I know she was busy, but asking someone what their name is takes one second). I'll have to go back there soon though if I'm going to even give it a shot...preferably next weekend or the latest the next so she doesn't forget. I also don't want to turn into a regular.
spookie Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 I've worked in a bar and it would have creeped me out. If she's cute, she gets hit on all night long, which means aggressive guys are up there with mosquitos in the annoying column. If you want to gauge interest, go back on a slower night, sit at the bar, and be nice but not aggressive and talk to her. If it were me and you were being nice, not pushy, I'd appreciate the company.
moonlight fragments Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 Honestly, I agree with lizzie60. If I was attracted to a guy and he initiated that physical contact with me, I would like it to. Definitely go back just to make sure. And I love the tell her she has a beautiful smile part. If you mean it, she will be able to sense that, and she will like that you are noticing her smile instead of other things. If it doesnt go well, at least you know.
SnapCracklePop Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 You won't get a chance unless you take a chance. If it were me and I wanted to see if there was some interest, I'd go back on a slow night to see if she were there. If not, I'd go back on the regular night. I'd make a point of introducing myself, and depending on the impression I got from any conversation that night, I'd ask her out. She probably does get lots of offers, but if she is interested she might accept. I only once asked out a barmaid - she did say she gets asked a lot, but I said that I would have rathered meeting her at the mall or store or anywhere else but there... I didn't think I'd get a chance to ask her anywhere else but here at the bar. She kissed me right then and there, but, we never did go out... maybe she was already involved, but I am pretty sure she was interested
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