Was it a date???

[george1122]

There is a girl I like, we have been friends for a while at work (8 months). We work in different departments so only saw each other like once a week. I asked her out in the beginning but she said she had a boyfriend. Few months later (2 weeks ago), when she knew a bit more than previously, I asked her if she would want to go watch a movie sometime. She said yes. I did not know whether we were going as friend or whether it was a date. I did not even know if she was currently dating anyone.

 

After the movie, we went out to dinner, and she asked me if I was dating anyone, I said no. I asked her if she was dating anyone, she said no but she said she was on a date last weekend, it was horrible but this is much better. I thought she was sending me a signal that it is a date. She then asked me a few more questions like if I had a serious relationship and stuff. We had fun talking, I dropped her off but did not make an attempt to kiss her because I was not completely sure if it was a date.

 

After thinking about that for couple of days, I thought it was actually a date. I called her two days later and told her that I had a good time. She said she had a good time too. I asked her out again for the next weekend. She said, she is busy next weekend but she would go for lunch. I said ok.

 

I called her after a week and asked her when would she like to go for lunch, we made plans. I think I should have asked her earlier but I did not want to interrupt with her plans on the weekend as she was going out of city. Due to some work stuff we had to postpone our lunch two days in a row. The day we were going to lunch was a party in my department which she did not know about. I was willing to ditch the party to go to the lunch with her.

 

We went out to lunch, I took it as a date and opened doors for her. We had fun talking but she did not seem much into me like she was on dinner after the movie. On the way back she saw that my department was having a party and said she feels really bad that I did not go to the party. I said I liked her and wanted to go to lunch with her. She said she still feels bad, I said The party is for another hour, I will go and join the party too. I also said I did not like that people kept postponing out date, that’s why I went. It was time to drop her off. I dropped her off and she said bye with a smile and I did he same.

 

I went to the party and after the party I send her a message saying that I did go to the party and enjoyed it but the lunch was way better. I did not want her to feel bad. She wrote back and said that she was glad I was able to enjoy the party too and she thanked me for lunch. I called her a the next day and it has been 2 days and I haven’t heard back from her.

 

Did I mess things up?

Did she think it was not a date?

What are my options?

[hip chick]

Well, she is not giving you much, that's for sure. I seriously would let her make the next contact. If she liked you in that way, she would have let you know by now.

[george1122]

I got mixed signals, sometimes I thought she liked me and sometimes just friends. We did have fun hanging out and talking though. At least I would like us to be friends if not anything more, but since last lunch which I totally took as a date, I am not sure where I stand.

[hip chick]

Give her a call, ask her out again, and give it one more shot. If she doesn't respond enthusiastically this time then you know she doesn't see you romantically. She should have figured out now that you are interested in more than being work colleagues/friends.

[george1122]

She still has not returned my call, it has been 2 days. I guess she does not like me romantically. I am afraid I am going to loose her as a friend as well. How long should I wait before calling her again, or should I call her again?

[MJR]

George, it's one thing to say you had a good time, but you're laying on the "I like you/I'm ditching people to be with you" pretty thick there. Slow down. Every "I like you", every "I'm ditching the party for you", every "I'm not going to let people get in the way of me seeing you" in rapid succession pressures her into reciprocating the sentiment when she may not know you well enough yet to make decisions on a romance. You're essentially rushing her to judgement, which could be pushing her away. Just relax and take her out for some fun. Keyword: fun.

[george1122]

Thanks MJR. Thats what I thought too. Wasn't planning on "I Like You/Ditching the party", she found out and conversation began. However, we have known each other for 8 months and usually hung out in a group quiet a few times. Still, I think I came out too strong.