NedFlanders Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 I have no idea where to post this so I am going to double post it. A friend of mine she is going through a seperation. We have always just been best friends, and thats it. Now with the seperation all the gossip has started, people saying we must be involved, etc. I knew it would happen and it happened today. She let me know we cannot be around each other, because of fear of people thinking that we are involved, and all the gossip that is going on. What do I do? She is in pain and I am trying my best to do whatever it takes to help her, but now this has happened. We are just friends, best of friends. Should I leave her alone and call her in a few days to make sure she is okay? I am hurting because she is hurting. What can I do? It kills me not to be around her.
Tomcat33 Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 If you are just "friends" I don't understand what these rumours are all around you, do you REALLY care what other people think considering you have had a friendship for so long and need each other? Ok but if she is that concerned then do what she has asked of you, a friend is one who listens and thinks of the other's needs as well. She needs right now to be left alone to deal with her seperation so do that for her if you care about her. You wanting to be there for her is YOUR need not hers.
whichwayisup Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 She let me know we cannot be around each other Then respect her wishes and back off. She is stressed out and can't handle the rumours. TC is right, you have to put her needs ahead of your own. YOU may need her in your life, but she doesn't need you in hers. Try not to take that out of context or personally...Obviously she does care about you, but right now isn't the time or place for you two continue the friendship.
Author NedFlanders Posted June 2, 2008 Author Posted June 2, 2008 It is just so hard to see her suffering, and to know I need to just leave her alone.
whichwayisup Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 Because of how you're feeling, it's obvious that you DO have deep feelings for her, more than "just" a friend. Try to keep busy. I'm sure you have other friends, family and things to do to keep your mind off of her.
Tomcat33 Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 It is just so hard to see her suffering, and to know I need to just leave her alone. I know it is I'm sorry you have go through this. Have faith in your friendship if you really care about each other she will just clear the air and be back in your life when things settle down.
Meaplus3 Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 I have no idea where to post this so I am going to double post it. A friend of mine she is going through a seperation. We have always just been best friends, and thats it. Now with the seperation all the gossip has started, people saying we must be involved, etc. I knew it would happen and it happened today. She let me know we cannot be around each other, because of fear of people thinking that we are involved, and all the gossip that is going on. What do I do? She is in pain and I am trying my best to do whatever it takes to help her, but now this has happened. We are just friends, best of friends. Should I leave her alone and call her in a few days to make sure she is okay? I am hurting because she is hurting. What can I do? It kills me not to be around her. Hi, Sorry for your sorrow. Support her if you can via phone, email if it hurts to be around her. My bet is she needs your advice, so offer it if you can. Sometimes helping someone else can one day help you if your in need. Best Wishes. AP:)
Author NedFlanders Posted June 2, 2008 Author Posted June 2, 2008 Thanks everyone for the advice. I may call her near the end of the week, but I am not sure. Everyones advice here sounds like the best way to go. Its just when you have always spent so much time with someone and than the next day they "are gone" it is just hard. I am a 34 yo man and I am man enough to admit I am crying over this.
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