Kellicakes Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 So...some of you may know my situation wth my ex from my other posts. I hope you can give me some more great advice because i am so confused right now and hurting.....:( My bf who I was absolutley crazy about broke it off with me a few weeks ago, saying that he just didn't think he could handle a GF right now, and that he "just wasn't the guy for me". This was after months of dating, where I thought he really cared for me and I thought things were progressing. I was and am still devastated. So after he told me that he just wasn't sure about us, and that he didn't want a GF, i backed off completely and didn't contact him at all. This was about 3 weeks ago. It killed me not to contact him, but I figured I had to move on. I didn't want to chase him or prolong the hurt. I have been hurting very badly these past couple of weeks not knowing exactly what went wrong. I was starting to feel the tiniest bit better last weekend, when he drunk texted me late at night to tell me he missed me. As confused as I was after that, i still did not contact him this week. Then, this past Friday night he starts texting me about 6 or 7 pm asking me if he had texted me over the weekend and what did hs texts say and were they bad? He knew he had texted me! I felt like he was fishing to see how I felt. So i was short with him, not rude just indifferent. Then he wanted to know what my plans were for the night, and could we hang out later? On the one hand, I was so happy to hear from him, but on the other I felt sick to my stomach.....like here we go again. He confuses me so much. I don't think he knows what he wants. I know he cares for me still, but I know he doesn't want a relationship right now. It hurts me, that he thinks he can just pop in and out of my life on his terms. It's so unfair! Does he not know how much I love him? Why can't he consider my feelings? I don't know what to do. I don't want to be his "friends with benefits" girl, which I suspect is what he is hoping for. Why won't he let me be if he doesn't really want me? Should I just ignore him or tell him that I love him too much to be in a random situation with him? I am so confused.......i do love him. He is turnng out to be not the person I thought he was though. He is being very selfish right now. Still, I have this confusion and feelings that I don't know what to do with. Don't know if I can stay strong and not see him if he contacts me again.
Template Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 You have to stay strong and keep up with the NC. As you have professed, you were already feeling a lot better as time gone forth. As soon as he contacted you, you started hurting again with confusion and pain. Is that what you really want? Is that what you deserve? I haven't read any of you other posts, but from what I read here, you guys obviously want different things. Personally I've always found it a waste of time to try to convince someone that we should want the same things (we cannot control others free will). Don't give in to his games. Ignore his texts. He'll eventually get the idea that you don't want to be with him, and he'll move on as well. It will have to start with you though. You'll find you'll heal a lot faster than you thought you would have.
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