Mr_Wind_Up_Bird Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 Hello all, After nearly a year of wallowing in misery, and feeling self-destructive after my wife left me, my friends decided to set me up on a blind date with some one of latin (specifically Colombian origin). They don't know this person very well, and the first date was last night. The first half of the evening was pretty tame, but then it was decided that we go visit this person's family who were having a party. The um, party, was pretty damn insane. At least insane for my white bread Midwestern standards. Lots of dope, lots of booze, lots of LOUD cumbia and salsa, and outrageously lewd dancing. It went on all night, and I was the only person there who didn't speak spanish. So here's the thing... I'm pretty flexible and open minded, no major hang-ups, but holy crap, this was like just a big family get-together, but there were definitely moments that made Girls Gone Wild look G Rated. So my questions is, if you have experience with Latino (specifically South American) life, can you tell me if this is pretty much normal behavior? I kind of like this person I went on the date with, but I want to know what I'm getting myself into. This is my first time around latin people, so I hope the stupidness of this question doesn't offend anyone. For what it's worth my wife was Asian, so I have a lot of experience being part of a foreign family. At least with them however, I spoke the language.
Lizzie60 Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 I never had any experience close to what you had.. but I LOOOOVE latino.. they are my all time favourites.. along with black men. They are soooo freaken hot. I had a few experiences with younger Latinos.. and they were my most memorable.. cause one of them were my all time most beautiful guy I've had sex with in all my life..
spookie Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 I never had any experience close to what you had.. but I LOOOOVE latino.. they are my all time favourites.. along with black men. They are soooo freaken hot. I had a few experiences with younger Latinos.. and they were my most memorable.. cause one of them were my all time most beautiful guy I've had sex with in all my life.. Hahaha. I've dated as many Hispanic guys as I have white guys. One of my best friends is also Mexican, and I've worked at a place that was about 90% Hispanic, in both employees and clientele. There aren't really any generalizations I can draw. I think to come up with any at all, you'd have to know the socioeconomic status of the person in question as well as how assimilated they are into US culture. I doubt the lewdness and the drugs at the party are "typical" of the culture; maybe certain subgroups within it, but don't ascribe it simply to her being Colombian.
Tomcat33 Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 Colombians party hard and drink heavily, and it is not just the young people EVERYONE does. Not sure about all the lewd behaviour but if there is going to be loud music, drugs and alcohol the rest is a given. what you experienced is common and it has nothing to do with social echelon, in fact the the higher the rank the harder they party so... A good friend of mine who is also a public figure hosted an event about about a month ago and the vice president of Colombia was in town and attended this event. Well after the event a select few went out to a local club in an upscale part of town and the VP was so drunk and dancing on tables by the end of the night that the RCMP (royal canadian mounted police usually escort diplomats, politicians etc) had to escort him out of the club since they could no longer protect him he was out of control. If the vicepresident can do it...
melodymatters Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 Colombians party hard and drink heavily, and it is not just the young people EVERYONE does. Not sure about all the lewd behaviour but if there is going to be loud music, drugs and alcohol the rest is a given. what you experienced is common and it has nothing to do with social echelon, in fact the the higher the rank the harder they party so... A good friend of mine who is also a public figure hosted an event about about a month ago and the vice president of Colombia was in town and attended this event. Well after the event a select few went out to a local club in an upscale part of town and the VP was so drunk and dancing on tables by the end of the night that the RCMP (royal canadian mounted police usually escort diplomats, politicians etc) had to escort him out of the club since they could no longer protect him he was out of control. If the vicepresident can do it... Sounds FUN ! America has gotten so "nanny state" about everything. Mr. WUB, Give it a try and live a little !
Tomcat33 Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 Sounds FUN ! America has gotten so "nanny state" about everything. Mr. WUB, Give it a try and live a little ! I know I was going to say, I hope that this girl doesn't become more "assimilated" to the US culture and loses her edge, latinos have SO MUCH more fun they just know how to live it up.
Ariadne Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 So my questions is, if you have experience with Latino (specifically South American) life, can you tell me if this is pretty much normal behavior? I'm from So Am and I never party, I'm just kind of lame. It depends, if they have family near then people usually get together. Anyway, about the Colombian girl. Most of the people I know that date Colombian girls get hang up on them big time and can't let go. Boys and girls.
Author Mr_Wind_Up_Bird Posted June 1, 2008 Author Posted June 1, 2008 Thanks for the insights. The LS community always has a good and diverse perspective on things. It’s actually even more complicated than I originally explained. The fact is that, umm, the “girl” is actually a “guy,” which adds a whole other dynamic to things. I hate to bring up my orientation, that’s why I was fairly vague about the other person in the original post. When people hear the term “bisexual” they immediately assume promiscuity, or an inability to commit, or they assume my orientation has something to do with my marriage failing. None of which is true, and yet the stigma remains. Yuck. Before I was married, I pretty much dated people of both gender equally, and honestly, growing up I never really understood “sexual orientation,” as a concept. It always seemed as arbitrary to me as only dating people of a certain skin color or ethnicity. The things that I’ve always been attracted are empathy, kindness, intelligence, and physical health. Everything else just seems irrelevant. So there it is. Me and this other guy were the only two non-straight people at the party.
hip chick Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 Drugs are not cool, so that would be a dealbreaker for me.
Tomcat33 Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 Thanks for the insights. The LS community always has a good and diverse perspective on things. It’s actually even more complicated than I originally explained. The fact is that, umm, the “girl” is actually a “guy,” which adds a whole other dynamic to things. I hate to bring up my orientation, that’s why I was fairly vague about the other person in the original post. When people hear the term “bisexual” they immediately assume promiscuity, or an inability to commit, or they assume my orientation has something to do with my marriage failing. None of which is true, and yet the stigma remains. Yuck. Before I was married, I pretty much dated people of both gender equally, and honestly, growing up I never really understood “sexual orientation,” as a concept. It always seemed as arbitrary to me as only dating people of a certain skin color or ethnicity. The things that I’ve always been attracted are empathy, kindness, intelligence, and physical health. Everything else just seems irrelevant. So there it is. Me and this other guy were the only two non-straight people at the party. Ok so you are bisexual and she was really a he, so what is your concern at this point? Does it really change the opening post at all to know that you are actually both men? I am sure you have been exposed to the gay world and drugs alcohol and partying are very much prevalent amongst gay circles if that is what you are asking..doesn't mean you have to partake but it is part of the lifstyle for a big number of gay men.
Author Mr_Wind_Up_Bird Posted June 2, 2008 Author Posted June 2, 2008 Yeah, he is a he. I never said he was a she. Just clarifying the point because there was some confusion. And yeah the drugs are not the issue. It was more of the family atmosphere combined with the drugs and crazy dancing. It was weird, at least for me.
AriaIncognito Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 I dated a Hispanic but of Puerto Rican decent. I've never been treated better by a man, so that's one on the plus side. :-) I say go for it. If what you previously have done didn't work, change it up!
quankanne Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 latinos have SO MUCH more fun they just know how to live it up. thank you! *blushes prettily* I think it's because Hispanics/Latinos are a bit less uptight about the stuff they enjoy – live large, party hard, love deeply – compared to their gringo counterparts. Party? Hell yeah, dance, drink and flirt the night away, it's meant in good fun. not sure about the drug thing, that's particular to the group you're hanging with. my one girlfriend from college and I agree on this: Hispanic men are fantastic lovers because they've got no hang-ups about sex. They enjoy it because it's meant to be enjoyed, and they aren't afraid to show their women a good time in bed, because sex is enjoyable. I don't think I can say that about the gringos I've dated, sex is more of something you check off a list: Get her excited, get into her pants, take what you want and then scurry off :laugh:
Parker43 Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 hey frnd !!! u should definately approach into the matter !! n that with a gr8 perception !!! Regards Richard Parker
xpaperxcutx Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 I dated a Hispanic but of Puerto Rican decent. I've never been treated better by a man, so that's one on the plus side. :-) I say go for it. If what you previously have done didn't work, change it up! Oh aria I disagree. I had my fair of dating puerto rican guys, and the one thing they've practically have in common is getting into a woman's pants. But that is not true of all hispanics. I love Dominicans. One of my girlfriends is Dominicans and her family is fun and outgoing. I was invited to a Thanksgiving party once, and it was food and dancing. Lots of dancing. They sure know how to live. As for OP, I'm sure the partying and dancing are nothing to worry about. Hispanics are known for their love of music and dancing. But above all they value family. I'm not so sure about the drugs, but if you like the guy, then all the more to try to embrace their culture. Once you fall in love with the exoticness of it all you can't go back.
Cov Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 I dated an Argentinian once, she was white, but Latino, I couldn't date a dark skinned latino, dark skin just doesn't float my boat, it sinks it.
fishtaco Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 Oh man... I would have paid money to go to that party. Sounds awesome.
peace_pipe Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 I never had any experience close to what you had.. but I LOOOOVE latino.. they are my all time favourites.. along with black men. I hear "white trash".
serial muse Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 My ex-husband is Cuban (actually, he's also part Dominican). His entire family was in Miami (where I also grew up, although I'm not Hispanic). So yeah, whenever somebody had a party, it was often an all-out family dance bash, with the cousins and in-laws and various extended family members. Actually, it was pretty fun. Although, as someone who comes from a tiny family that needs a lot of encouragement to get down and party, it could also be pretty overwhelming. But although partying happened regularly, it was largely family-oriented. Everybody from the two-year-olds to the great-grandmother were there, so a big no to the drugs and the lewd dancing! There was salsa, of course, and merengue and pachata and so on, but I don't think I ever saw any grinding; just dancing.
quankanne Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 whenever somebody had a party, it was often an all-out family dance bash, with the cousins and in-laws and various extended family members as my sister likes to point out, there are no such things as formal dinners for Mexicans, just pachangas (parties)
serial muse Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 whenever somebody had a party, it was often an all-out family dance bash, with the cousins and in-laws and various extended family members as my sister likes to point out, there are no such things as formal dinners for Mexicans, just pachangas (parties) I liked this about my ex's family; it was pretty cool.
Karyyk Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 I'm half-Cuban (mother's side, which is the side that still claims me, heh), so I've been to my share of the get-togethers. Of course, my mom's family might well be the most tame Latinos I've ever met, and they can't sing or dance (at least, not well), but they try. Always lots of people (from 1 to 101 it seems), loud personalities and plenty of food. They're wine drinkers, some beer, but that's about it, and there aren't any drugs (so you can throw that generalization out of the window). I don't ever remember any "lewd" dancing, but I do remember certain members of my father's family reacting very poorly to it as such on occasion (them being very "Southern"...and closed-minded). When I lived in Louisiana, we had a lot of close family friends who were Mexican, and it was much the same there. Lots of eating, some drinking, dancing and general festivity, but I don't ever remember there being any drugs. It was quite family-friendly.
quankanne Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 yeah, that's one thing I like about the gatherings I've been to – for the most part they were VERY family oriented, even if they got a bit loud with the music and raucousness ... little kids were as much a part of the fun as were the adults. Again, the drug thing is not a common thing, unless you count folks sneaking off to light up a joint (away and hidden from the kids).
Cov Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 I prefer Native American get together. My eldest brother is engaged to a Native American woman and her family still uphold the original Cheyenne traditions and customs. It's a fantastic and educational get together and the wedding is going to be European and Native American themed. I just want to smoke a peacepipe to tell you the truth.
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