Author wmrjw82 Posted June 3, 2008 Author Posted June 3, 2008 Now you see why you should have been hitting up on other girls all this time, any time or effort you spent on her were basically wasted. Now imagine she calls you back next week and wants a date, it really makes no difference if you were hitting up on other women all this time or not, you schedule a time with her and you go. Oh trust me... there's other options out there. I was just really into this one. Maybe it'll work out who knows... we did end it on a good note. All I know is that i'll continue to communicate w/ her and make her laugh as spikeychick has mentioned but as far as scheduling a time to get together... i'm done. If she likes me she can ask me. I tried
sid3 Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 What did you end on a good note? I must have missed something. Spikeydude is telling you to keep pursuing a woman that's not interested, why not put your efforts into the other options you have. You already told yourself she's way out of your league, why reject yourself before she even has a chance to. Maybe you can pester her into going out on a date with you, I would like to know how that works out for you, I will be looking for the update. I've never heard of sympathy date, perhaps she will take one for the team:D
Krytie TV Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 For Pete's sake -what is it with you young men. Have you lost your Ooomph ? Go after her with lust and vigor. Women love bold confident men who pursue them . There are NO guarantees in the dating game except to say that you will always lose the girl IF you do not try. Bummer. Just as women don't like guys who don't pursue, guys don't like women that play dead. Tit for tat.
Author wmrjw82 Posted June 4, 2008 Author Posted June 4, 2008 What did you end on a good note? I must have missed something. Good point. I forgot to disclose that. She told me through txt how her cousin is like 20 and getting married... she commented that she was too young and it would be "interesting". Now, I knew she had never bothered to ask me my age in previous txts so i replied with: "well shoot i'm 20... i guess that means we aren't getting married then are we?"... she replied "you are 20?"... to which i replied... "hell yeah, i can't wait till next year when i can go to the bars. It will ROCK!".... (i was really feeding it to her at this point)... finally she replies... "well i'm 23 and i'm so out of the bar scene. I dunno"... I finally gave in and replied "lol hon, i'm 26... i thought you knew everything about me? (this was in reference to when i asked for her number she proceeded to tell me she already knew my name and address)".... it got a laugh out of her with a reply of "oh god. haha".... That was it. I left it. So atleast i made her laugh She really is a sweet girl and everytime we talk i feel like we hit it off but isn't there a limit to how much a guy can get rejected? I mean, i've made all the moves so far and she's pretty much rejected everything. We'll see what happens over the weekend. Like I said, i'll continue to talk to her but I really don't see the point in asking her out again.... do you guys? Isn't it her turn now?
SpikeyChick Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Oh trust me... there's other options out there. I was just really into this one. Maybe it'll work out who knows... we did end it on a good note. All I know is that i'll continue to communicate w/ her and make her laugh as spikeychick has mentioned but as far as scheduling a time to get together... i'm done. If she likes me she can ask me. I tried More thoughts from me - I agree with Fishtaco that you should have explored your other options . Plenty of women would go out with a guy like you. Are you also aware that you have made a BASIC blunder here - you have put this woman up on a PEDESTAL before you qualified her, or before she passed the audition. Your posts refer to her as "the one" or indicate that you are smitten -why? What has she DEMONSTRATED yet. Nothing of any value as far as I can see. The ONLY woman that a man should be putting up on a PEDESTAL is your wife,and she should only receive that privelege after proving heself over several years of courting. I digress -- However emotion trumps logic and judgement. IF you are truly besotted with this women PURSUE her with some BOLDNESS. Your attempts so far are kind of limp. THis situation is NOT good so far. Her buying signals are almost non existent - however I recommend that you persist just because you MAY get what you want IF you act in a more definite way - Call her, do not text her anymore- Texting can act as a buffer and a shield.
SpikeyChick Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Bummer. Just as women don't like guys who don't pursue, guys don't like women that play dead. Tit for tat. All true. Very true.
Author wmrjw82 Posted June 4, 2008 Author Posted June 4, 2008 More thoughts from me - I agree with Fishtaco that you should have explored your other options . Plenty of women would go out with a guy like you. Are you also aware that you have made a BASIC blunder here - you have put this woman up on a PEDESTAL before you qualified her, or before she passed the audition. Your posts refer to her as "the one" or indicate that you are smitten -why? What has she DEMONSTRATED yet. Nothing of any value as far as I can see. The ONLY woman that a man should be putting up on a PEDESTAL is your wife,and she should only receive that privelege after proving heself over several years of courting. I digress -- However emotion trumps logic and judgement. IF you are truly besotted with this women PURSUE her with some BOLDNESS. Your attempts so far are kind of limp. THis situation is NOT good so far. Her buying signals are almost non existent - however I recommend that you persist just because you MAY get what you want IF you act in a more definite way - Call her, do not text her anymore- Texting can act as a buffer and a shield. Spikey, you're not keeping up with the posts i already stated that i do have other options... I'm not putting this girl on a pedestal. I think 2 tries and 2 misses in a matter of 4 days is quite bold. I don't see how my attempts have been limp. I initiated the first talks, got her number, txt'd her THAT SAME NIGHT to ask her out the next day. She rejected. Okay... i waited 3 days before CALLING HER (note the call attempt and straying away from the txting) and got rejected again. Okay, no harm done. I wasn't mad. Told her to have a great time at the wedding. What else can I do? Do you want me to call her up and start begging this girl for some attention? I think i've made it painfully obvious to her that i'm interested. What else is there to do? I guess i'm just getting confused here please enlighten me.....
sid3 Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Yep, you made a good effort. The only thing I would suggest is not text/calling the same night your get her number. That screams too eager. Now there is no mystery for her, she knows your into her. How about this. Start working on your other options and leave any future contact up to her. If she's interested she'll contact you, although it may be just to feed her ego. I think you have more to gain by not putting in any more effort. She'll wonder if you found someone else, gave up etc. Or not, which means she wasn't into you at all. NBD, it happens. I think to keep pursuing by any means would look desperate. Because she hasn't give any signs that you shouls be continuing. Good luck
Author wmrjw82 Posted June 4, 2008 Author Posted June 4, 2008 Yep, you made a good effort. The only thing I would suggest is not text/calling the same night your get her number. That screams too eager. Now there is no mystery for her, she knows your into her. You know that was a big decision for me. I've NEVER done that. And the thought of coming across as too eager definitely crossed my mind. But the way this girl responded when i got her number was so geniune and honestly she seemed to be so...what's word....oh yeah EAGER. I guess I just wanted to show her that I was just as interested. Perhaps it was a trap now that i look back on it... it worked.
TiffanyLove Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 It seems like you really like this girl and you are hoping that she likes you back. That's cool and everything, though it's on you to build her attraction; and I'm sorry to say that from all that you wrote, you were building her "affection", not "attraction". Please forgive me if this sounds a bit preachy, but I know the difference between guys I enjoy dating and guys who I blow off. Lately, I've had a bit of both, so here's some observations. Okay, first... you got her number and text'd her that night? My first thought? Too anxious, no challenge. Wait AT LEAST 24-48 hours to call... not text. Unless you get the number on a weekend, then you wait until Monday - you're a busy/fun/cool guy... that's why you wait a lil bit. You have plans on the weekend... or at least you should. Second... you text'd her out?!?!?! Did I read that right? Ugh. I hate when guys do that. I got two of those this weekend and you know what I did? Rolled my eyes at the phone and didn't reply. Sure... she said she prefers to communicate via text, but a text-out is a cop-out in my opinion. Man up. Also, you told her that you understood and to let you know a more convenient time. Next time, tell her when you're available and if she can't make it, tough. Give her two options and if she doesn't take one of them then the ball is in her court to offer up a third. Third... you did man up with the phone call! YAY YOU! But.............. you asked her out via voicemail? no no no. Here's a proper phone message - one that will get a call back if she's interested. "Hey {insert her name}, it's {insert your name}. We met at {blah blah blah place} and talked about {whatever significant/funny content of your 1st meeting conversation}. Call me on my cell at 555-555-5555. Talk to you then." Never hang up on a voice mail. And never ask someone out on a voice mail. Then fourth, when she apologized for not being in touch because of phone issues you could have text'd her back something like... "Hmmm, dropped your phone in the toilet? I don't know if I can hang around someone who's so clumsy. Call me when you get some coordination." (was that more than 160 characters?) Anything kinda funny/teasing ... depending on your sense of humor... I'm a fan of toilet humor, but that's just me. Also, instead of "have fun at the wedding". You could have said "Cool. I'll catch up with ya in a couple weeks. Don't eat too much wedding cake. ;)" What that shows is that you're too busy with your own life to even care about her issues. Phone, wedding, blah blah blah. Women always make time for people they really want to talk to. Anyway, I hope you're able to salvage this one. She seems like a quality chick. Good luck.
sid3 Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Your half right, but it's not called a trap, it's called testing you. You knew that though. Whatever you do, start acting indifferent. Next time wait a bit to call/text. If she calls/texts after the weekend, wait awhile to reply. To balance the previous appearing too eager
Jilly Bean Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 No, no, no. The poster who said you should still pursue her is obviously not used to ever ACTUALLY being pursued by a man. See, its a fine line. I LOVE being pursued, but ONLY when I am interested in a guy! And I make it very well known to him when I am, and make sure he has a green light. If I am NOT interested, and a guy keeps after me, it is annoying and I view him as completely pathetic and its a post-humous turn-off to boot. NOTHING flattering in that kind of attention at all. ( had this happen to me recently, and I was pretty disgusted with it all). Bottom line, there is a big difference between pursuing a woman who is showing her interest, and just being foolish and pesty when she is not encouraging your advances. This was a case where she was NOT giving you the green light, you pushed it just far enough to convince yourself of that through her lack of positive responses. Now I applaud you for moving on and pursuing your other options.
johan Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 ...( had this happen to me recently, and I was pretty disgusted with it all). Hm. I thought I was being subtle.
Recommended Posts