DunnoWhat Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 I haven't heard this one before. But its interesting. Doesnt apply to me unfortunately as I live Downtown in a City of 2 million people, so its about as urban as you can get. Unless you're talking Farmers what would single men be doing out in rural areas?? Just seems a bit odd that notion. Jobs basically. There's not many office jobs in rural areas and farmers and other hard manual jobs etc are for men.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 Hee! So in DC, we're on rations? Hahaha..I've been pretty tired lately....corrected that typo in my next post.
Linux Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 I only read a few replies in this thread but I'm just going to go out and say that it is highly dependent on what region of the country you are in. The east coast has way more single women then men. But how here in California, at least in the big cities, there are way more single men than women. I think it's partly because a lot of guys here are players that date 5-6 girls at once (no joke). So for normal people it's really hard.
D-Lish Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 When you cook my dinner. Well I am having grilled cheese sandwiches- so I'll see you at, let's say 9ish?
sid3 Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 Coffehouse is good, dance classes are the thing that single women seem to enjoy here. I'm going at the end of the month. My neighbor is taking me. Assured me it is not full of dancing grannies, also you should sign up for any meetups you find even slightly interesting. It is all about leaving your comfort zones OP. Seriously. Is there a mall around? If your tired of sitting a home alone, why not get a part time job. Women are always at the mall. I think many are addicted to shoes?
Lucky555 Posted June 4, 2008 Posted June 4, 2008 I think you need to do some activities geared towards women: Cooking classes YOGA!!!! Pottery classes Dance
Author bernie888 Posted June 8, 2008 Author Posted June 8, 2008 some good ideas from various people here. Certainly I could absolutely do with improving my own social circle. I'm very keen to do that but thats not the easiest thing to do either. Yes, I agree, going out of one's comfort zone has to be done sometimes and I have been conscious of trying that the past couple years. I have attended several of the 'Meetup' events that are on here but havent found any nice single women at these yet - sorry, there was one but she was 20 years older than me so I didnt pursue that one funnily enough! As for idea of getting a part time job in a mall to meet women...nah, I work plenty of hours in my career as it is, that really the last thing I want to do is go back to work on the few hours I get off in a week. I even went along to a BBQ the other week with mostly people I didnt know (knew the host, that was about it) . And in the group of people there it was pointed out that there were 2 guys for every 1 girl (that observation made by a married man there!). And the girls were mostly married or had boyfriends. I believe one, maybe two were single. Again big age differences either much older or younger so no real potential there. I'm not asking for much, just someone within a decade of my age either way would be a start. As for yoga - no. I just cant go to a yoga class. I know, I need to do lots of things out of my comfort zone, but not that one!! Coffee shops - well, thats tricky. I've been to lots over the years here but Vancouver is notoriously difficult to talk to strangers in these sorts of places. If one were to just start chatting to a female in a coffee shop, she'd probably freak out big time. Female friends of mine have amazed me in the past by telling me how appalled they were when they were chatted to in a book store of all places! I thought it sounded nice, but this woman apparantly was utterly shocked. So, yes I think attitudes in regions vary too. I've heard many people say its so much easier to talk to people you dont know in New York or places like that, probably more on the East coast and it is treated as quite 'normal'. Whereas over here in Vancouver and some of the other areas here people are very nice and polite but I dont find them deep down to be that friendly or warm, except to their own circle of family/close friends of course. I come from Scotland so its quite a change for me since moving here and I think back home people are much more likely to be open to chatting with or even socialising with people they have just met. There isnt quite the same barriers to be broken down. I appreciate all the feedback guys, and girls. Best suggestion yet appears to be getting the cute puppy, lol!! Thats quite a sad state of affairs I think but oh well!
Taramere Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 Coffee shops - well, thats tricky. I've been to lots over the years here but Vancouver is notoriously difficult to talk to strangers in these sorts of places. If one were to just start chatting to a female in a coffee shop, she'd probably freak out big time. Female friends of mine have amazed me in the past by telling me how appalled they were when they were chatted to in a book store of all places! I thought it sounded nice, but this woman apparantly was utterly shocked. Let her be shocked. It's not illegal to speak to other customers in bookshops or cafes. Are you a member of a gym? I find that men will sometimes strike up a conversation in the sauna or steam room - which I find quite impressive, given that when I'm in there on my own and a strange man suddenly bursts in I'm pretty sure I give off "Oh no! Get out!!!" vibes. It can feel a little uncomfortable to be shut in a box with a hulking stranger whose endless heat-induced gasps and sighs make it sound as though he's beating off. A guy who can strike up some kind of lively conversation, on the other hand, relaxes the atmosphere. It's surprising how the chat can flow while you're stuck in a hot little box with someone. The steam room is even better as the vapours make it harder to see people....generally a good thing, given that nobody really looks at their best in these environments.
kodts Posted June 8, 2008 Posted June 8, 2008 I haven't gone through all the post but this seems pretty easy.. cause us guys are so gross and ugly and girls are so cuddly and cute.
JohnnyBlaze Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 Bernie: I'm wondering if a lot of it isn't the standard rejections people use. Girls tend to use the "I'm already seeing someone" line more often than guys. Girls seem to be a little nicer in their letdowns than guys are - saying that they're already taken is much easier on a guy than saying "hey, you're ugly as dirt. You couldn't pay me enough to be seen in public with you". And on behalf of all us mutts out there, I'm glad they do! Although, anecdotally, I agree with you. It seems like the ratios are stacked heavily against us guys. Unless, of course, my above theory is correct. In which case, I'm screwed...in the bad way. Well I am having grilled cheese sandwiches- so I'll see you at, let's say 9ish? You use real cheese or that processed stuff? I can be on the road in 5 minutes!
sid3 Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 No yoga classes! You'd be better off taking a class on speaking Latin. Pilates on he otherhand is a good option. And BTW, here on the eastcoast, ie: New York suburbs, people are not all that warm.
Author bernie888 Posted June 9, 2008 Author Posted June 9, 2008 Hey Johnny Yes, you could very well be right. Women may just not be attracted to us in the slightest. I've considered that possibility more than a few times! But also, in meeting people in general, I have observed that far more women seem to be already 'taken' than the guys in mixed groups and in these occasions I do know they are married or have long term boyfriends, its not just a feeling But, point taken. Often women seem to be focused very much on superficialities and if the guy isn't 6 foot tall and very good looking in their eyes, they usually aren't interseted. It sucks but what can one do. Bernie: I'm wondering if a lot of it isn't the standard rejections people use. Girls tend to use the "I'm already seeing someone" line more often than guys. Girls seem to be a little nicer in their letdowns than guys are - saying that they're already taken is much easier on a guy than saying "hey, you're ugly as dirt. You couldn't pay me enough to be seen in public with you". And on behalf of all us mutts out there, I'm glad they do! Although, anecdotally, I agree with you. It seems like the ratios are stacked heavily against us guys. Unless, of course, my above theory is correct. In which case, I'm screwed...in the bad way. You use real cheese or that processed stuff? I can be on the road in 5 minutes!
lino Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 from what I've seen it's much easier for women to get into a relationship than men.
Pedigree Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 from what I've seen it's much easier for women to get into a relationship than men. That's because all they have to do is sit, smile, and signal.
Cherry Blossom 35 Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 That's because all they have to do is sit, smile, and signal. Oh geez, if it was that easy, I wouldn't still be single Not that there is anything wrong with that. Kinda enjoying myself right now.
Pedigree Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 Oh geez, if it was that easy, I wouldn't still be single Disclaimer: Quality of men attracted may vary. But also, in meeting people in general, I have observed that far more women seem to be already 'taken' than the guys in mixed groups and in these occasions I do know they are married or have long term boyfriends, What do you mean, mixed groups?
Author bernie888 Posted June 9, 2008 Author Posted June 9, 2008 mixed groups - all I mean is when you talk to people in general, either at work or acquiantances etc, it seems there are a lot of single guys, probably about half the guys I know are single and very feww single women that one meets. Usually the women that are single, are single by choice, because they havent met 'the one' yet or one that possesses everything on their 'list' of requirements before they'd consider dating them. Disclaimer: Quality of men attracted may vary. What do you mean, mixed groups?
Linux Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 Hey bernie this is how it works 90% of the time... If you ever go to any work related gathering, the male:female ratio will be about 5:1, and there will be absolutely no single women there, none. Any women there will be with their boyfriend/husband. Thats a guarantee. Never go to a work function with the intentions of meeting someone. It won't happen. If you go to a open house party where anybody can come, such as putting flyers up around school or having people call friends of friends, the male:female ratio will be about 10:1, but this time there will actually be single females there. You have a chance to meet someone here but the odds are against you due to the skewed ratio. If you are good looking and charismatic you have a chance here. Closed house party with a selective invite list. THIS IS YOUR BEST CHANCE TO MEET WOMEN. Usually the host will ensure an equal ratio or 2:3 male:female ratio. This activity will be in your favor but at a cost. In this type of party more women show up with dates. This is still your best chance to meet someone as there will be single women and not much competition. Birthday partys. This is a few points down from a closed house party. This is also a fairly decent way to meet women as the male:female ratio won't be skewed and single women go to these. Bars/Clubs. Ok seriously, this is probably the absolute worst way to try to meet women, worse than work functions. At your average bar/club, the male:female ratio will be at least 20:1 on a Friday/Saturday night. There will be a lot of single women however, way more than any of the others above. The problem here is not only the skewed ratio, but in Bars/Clubs these women are always huddled in groups of 5-7 with thick shielding around them due to all the guys that will be hitting on them all night. Unless you want your ego ripped to shreds don't approach these women. Well theres my analysis, hopefully this helps.
45Reverse Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 Yeah, I know why there are more single men than women. It's called the FAMILY COURT SYSTEM. Guys have been getting raped in family courts for years so less and less men are getting married now-a-days. True story, I've read a few different studies that come to the same conclusion. It's to a woman's advantage to get married but it's almost never an advantage for men. Younger guys are catching on to this (mostly from watching their mothers screw over their fathers) are are waiting much, much longer (or never) to tie the knot. Sad but true.... Now, if you're talking about BF / GF type "singles" (not married but not dating either) then I have no idea what to tell you. Most of the dating success I've had has been just meeting people when I visit or party with friends. Agree with the others that work is a tough place to look for dates. You could try on-line but that has challenges of it's own.
Author bernie888 Posted June 9, 2008 Author Posted June 9, 2008 thanks for the thoughts. Oh, I agree, I'd never look to meet anyone at a work function, espeically when its mostly guys at those anyway! Dont know if I've ever been invited to a 'closed house party'. The very nature of that seems odd. The last event I was at was a BBQ for a friends birthday and that was the scenario I described previously with 2-1 male to female etc etc. I think we have to just accept the fact of life is that there are far more men almost EVERYWHERE and its just pure luck if one should ever meet a single female roughly near the same age and where there is actually something in common to get an interest going on either side! Talk about needle and haystack, lol! Hey bernie this is how it works 90% of the time... If you ever go to any work related gathering, the male:female ratio will be about 5:1, and there will be absolutely no single women there, none. Any women there will be with their boyfriend/husband. Thats a guarantee. Never go to a work function with the intentions of meeting someone. It won't happen. If you go to a open house party where anybody can come, such as putting flyers up around school or having people call friends of friends, the male:female ratio will be about 10:1, but this time there will actually be single females there. You have a chance to meet someone here but the odds are against you due to the skewed ratio. If you are good looking and charismatic you have a chance here. Closed house party with a selective invite list. THIS IS YOUR BEST CHANCE TO MEET WOMEN. Usually the host will ensure an equal ratio or 2:3 male:female ratio. This activity will be in your favor but at a cost. In this type of party more women show up with dates. This is still your best chance to meet someone as there will be single women and not much competition. Birthday partys. This is a few points down from a closed house party. This is also a fairly decent way to meet women as the male:female ratio won't be skewed and single women go to these. Bars/Clubs. Ok seriously, this is probably the absolute worst way to try to meet women, worse than work functions. At your average bar/club, the male:female ratio will be at least 20:1 on a Friday/Saturday night. There will be a lot of single women however, way more than any of the others above. The problem here is not only the skewed ratio, but in Bars/Clubs these women are always huddled in groups of 5-7 with thick shielding around them due to all the guys that will be hitting on them all night. Unless you want your ego ripped to shreds don't approach these women. Well theres my analysis, hopefully this helps.
JohnnyBlaze Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 There will be a lot of single women however, way more than any of the others above. The problem here is not only the skewed ratio, but in Bars/Clubs these women are always huddled in groups of 5-7 with thick shielding around them due to all the guys that will be hitting on them all night. Unless you want your ego ripped to shreds don't approach these women. Too true. Ya start to feel like Indiana Jones. First, you have to get through the other treasure hunters looking to thwart you. Then you have to get past the deadly traps she calls her friends before you reach the prize...and then fend off the traps and treasure hunters on the way back out, too.
refurb Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 Bars/Clubs. Ok seriously, this is probably the absolute worst way to try to meet women, worse than work functions. At your average bar/club, the male:female ratio will be at least 20:1 on a Friday/Saturday night. The last time I was in Boston, I was at a couple bars on a Saturday night and the ratio of girls to guys was at least 2:1 (yes in favor of girls). RF
Stockalone Posted June 9, 2008 Posted June 9, 2008 The last event I was at was a BBQ for a friends birthday and that was the scenario I described previously with 2-1 male to female etc etc. I think we have to just accept the fact of life is that there are far more men almost EVERYWHERE and its just pure luck if one should ever meet a single female roughly near the same age and where there is actually something in common to get an interest going on either side! Talk about needle and haystack, lol! In Germany, we have more males than females up until the age of 35-40. We have 105 boys born for every 100 girls. If you also factor in that men on average date/marry someone who is younger, that means that there is in fact a shortage of women in that age brackets that are "interesting" for starting a family, settling down. Not sure if that also holds true for North-America, but I think it is very likely. The mortality rate of boys is going down thanks to better health care so you should have similar rates of boys vs. girls being born. Regional factors also exist. Girls do sinificantly better in school than boys over here so women tend to achieve a higher level of education. Thus, they are the first to leave economical weak regions because they have a better chance of finding a good job somewhere else. We have some regions where there are only 75 women for 100 men. Having said all that, I am fairly certain that things aren't this bleak in Canada, especially if you live in a larger city. But I can absolutely relate, even though I know that it in my case it is my own fault that I am single. There are actually more women than men where I work but it is a) not a good idea to date someone from work and b) the women my age are all taken (at least those I work closely with). I have also never gone out of my way to meet women. My hobbies don't include women, so I am stuck with the occasional, serendipitous encounter. But I think that is how it is supposed to be. Not that I would advertize such a lifestyle but it is how things turned out for me and I don't mind it. If you already have exhausted the option of participating in language classes or other interests, I agree with Linux' suggestion. Getting to know women through friends and their enhanced social circle seems to be the best option in your (well, most men's) case. I've read the articles online where some 'guru' suggests trying to meet women in a book store or supermarket, but realistically that is more than a long shot. I can't see a conversation springing up over the cucumbers, lol! I don't know about the supermarket or book store but I met my first gf at a home-improvement market.
Author bernie888 Posted June 9, 2008 Author Posted June 9, 2008 thanks Stockalone. I'm not sure exact figures but I believe someone posted earlier that there are 250,000 more men than women in Canada as a whole. Still, I dont believe thats the biggest problem. I think its just that single women dont do the same things as single guys - and I'm still not sure what exactly they do do, lol! Apart from dinner parties with their females friends, which doesnt exactly help! I understand what you're saying about less well off parts of the country, whether thats in Germany or elsewhere in the world, its probably true. But here in Vancouver, its agruably the MOST well off part of Canada, so I dont see that as a factor. Meeting single women through friends has never really happened for me but I agree that that would be the most preferable way as hopefully one's friends would in turn know some decent people. But often one is stuck with a social circle where none of the 'group' really knows any single friends, I know thats the case with my friends. The ocassional serendipitous encounter does appear to be what we're left with but when that happens maybe only twice in 38 years then that kind of gives you an idea of why I'm here on this forum for suggestions In Germany, we have more males than females up until the age of 35-40. We have 105 boys born for every 100 girls. If you also factor in that men on average date/marry someone who is younger, that means that there is in fact a shortage of women in that age brackets that are "interesting" for starting a family, settling down. Not sure if that also holds true for North-America, but I think it is very likely. The mortality rate of boys is going down thanks to better health care so you should have similar rates of boys vs. girls being born. Regional factors also exist. Girls do sinificantly better in school than boys over here so women tend to achieve a higher level of education. Thus, they are the first to leave economical weak regions because they have a better chance of finding a good job somewhere else. We have some regions where there are only 75 women for 100 men. Having said all that, I am fairly certain that things aren't this bleak in Canada, especially if you live in a larger city. But I can absolutely relate, even though I know that it in my case it is my own fault that I am single. There are actually more women than men where I work but it is a) not a good idea to date someone from work and b) the women my age are all taken (at least those I work closely with). I have also never gone out of my way to meet women. My hobbies don't include women, so I am stuck with the occasional, serendipitous encounter. But I think that is how it is supposed to be. Not that I would advertize such a lifestyle but it is how things turned out for me and I don't mind it. If you already have exhausted the option of participating in language classes or other interests, I agree with Linux' suggestion. Getting to know women through friends and their enhanced social circle seems to be the best option in your (well, most men's) case. I don't know about the supermarket or book store but I met my first gf at a home-improvement market.
Pedigree Posted June 10, 2008 Posted June 10, 2008 mixed groups - all I mean is when you talk to people in general, either at work or acquiantances etc, it seems there are a lot of single guys, probably about half the guys I know are single and very feww single women that one meets. Usually the women that are single, are single by choice, because they havent met 'the one' yet or one that possesses everything on their 'list' of requirements before they'd consider dating them. Oh okay. Yeah true. Probably about 3/5 to 2/3 of the dudes I know are single. As far as the girls, most of them are taken. You have to wonder how much does luck factor in when you're looking for a girl. I mean, you make your own luck by the things that you do but then you got circumstances that are beyond your control (She's already taken, she just broke up and need some time etc.).
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