scared to let go:(

[justliketv]

i feel really strange tonight.

 

i feel on the brink of getting over my ex and giving up hope that we will ever be together. but i feel so scared to be over him. cos he really did mean so much to me and i've never felt the way i feel about him about anyone. but it's made me unhapy for so long (he was a friend first and i wanted him so badly for about a year but he was in a relationship, then we had three months together then he said he wasn't ready beause of previous ex, now we're friends again but not close)

 

i did a bit of a test today..i just sent him a text and i thought..if he doesn't reply then i'll move on. then i kind of imagined some senerio of him replying and coming over and us getting back together.

 

he hasn't replied.

 

he means so much to me but i can't make him love me but it terrifies me to think that he might want me once im with someone else. before we'd even got together a great guy was in love with me but i wouldn't let myself be with him incase there was a chance i would end up with the guy im trying to get over now. as soon as i arranged a date with the guy that liked me...me and and the guy i wanted for ages started seeing each other and i cancelled the date.

 

i feel so scared to let go:( but i don't want to be unhappy forever.

 

i know this doesn't make sense, i think i just needed to get it out.

 

i don't know what it feels like to not be in love with him:( (i've loved him throughout my 2 years at university even when he was with someone else.)

 

xx

[BiAxident]

(he was a friend first and i wanted him so badly for about a year but he was in a relationship, then we had three months together then he said he wasn't ready beause of previous ex, now we're friends again but not close)

 

I know how you feel. I was friends with my ex-gf for thirteen years before we dated, during the last four of them I was madly in love with her. It's very scary to leave behind someone who meant so much to you for so long. However, it sounds like it isn't really a decision that you have to make. It sounds like the guy in question made the decision for you.

 

I can't picture myself being in love with anyone else either. At this point, I don't suspect I will be, so I can't offer you any advice on that front (though I'm sure others in the forum will). All I can say is that, you need to try to not base your happiness in life on another person. You'll almost always get let down eventually.