carrotgirl Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Last night I had another one of those corporate bonding meet and greet dinner parties. The evening was surprisingly fun! GD was lovely. He had a blast watching the less self-possessed women be their nasty selves toward me and then immediately try to suck up after. God I love his humor. He just rolled his eyes at the comments. Ooh! This is a nice shocker. GD's guest, the one and only poison pal was surprisingly lovely to me as well. The poison pal seemed very genuine in his actions and manner. I want to say I'm completely paranoid and don't trust it for a minute, but he was very nice and it's hard to think he had any agenda other than making friends. The big, hairy eye-opener was the ex ex who brought his whack job girlfriend. May I just say I have had this woman so mis-classified for years! I'd always seen her as a very nice person. What a phony beeyotch! And how stupid am I not to have seen this crazy for what she is sooner? There was a made for motion pictures moment where she simpered her usual simper and batted her lashes and blushed so charmingly and in a very loud stage whisper said some very rude things about my presence. Then she leaned past the ex ex toward me so that he couldn't see her and I shhit you not, she hissed at me. Like a cat. MRD. Carrot
sedgwick Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 What's MRD? Your relationship with GD makes my head spin! One day you love him, the next day you hate him, and it's been like this for as long as I've been here! Are you sure he's worth it?
Author carrotgirl Posted June 1, 2008 Author Posted June 1, 2008 What's MRD? Mandy Rice-Davies Your relationship with GD makes my head spin! One day you love him, the next day you hate him, and it's been like this for as long as I've been here! Are you sure he's worth it? YES! GD has been a very good boy today. Always love him. Hate him too. But tonight I got a very yummy, if somewhat sodden, good night call. Good boy! God Sed! I think I have a stretch mark on my hip! WTF! I have to eat more. Stretch marks will not do. What are you up to? Carrot
sedgwick Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 Okay, I looked up Mandy Rice-Davies and I don't understand what she has to do with this. Am I stupid? Is MRD some slang I don't know about? I'm doing sorta meh. Missing him tons. Same old story! So yesterday you were done with GD and going total NC, and today he called so you love him again? My head spins! I cannot keep up!
Author carrotgirl Posted June 2, 2008 Author Posted June 2, 2008 Something strange is happening in the universe. GD's poison pal just rang to invite me to his grad party. I'm having trouble breathing. This is the man who swore undying hate for me. WHAT is going on here? I'm in shock. Carrot
Author carrotgirl Posted June 2, 2008 Author Posted June 2, 2008 Sed, I wanted to think before just writing some pat answer. My head spins too! You know I'm not a big fan of magical thinking. I like to keep things in the realm of what I can observe and measure. Love doesn't seem to give a shhit about though! The emotions are as variable as you notice. It's all still new to me this overwhelming feeling of so many emotions all the time. I'm learning to deal with it a little better. Progress is slow. So with GD, when he cheeses me off I don't always show him but here where I can express myself safely, you bet! I'm going to let loose with what I don't say elsewhere. At times I don't want to let go with the ushy gushy wuvv oooos either you know? But to get at the core of what I think you're asking, the hardest thing in all of this is accepting that whatever will be will be and remaining open to all these feelings and keep being myself whether GD likes it or not. I'm pleasing myself, not him, though I can still be charming and open. And when I am, the more he seems to please me. It's kind of like a message from me to me saying I'm doing okay. Anyway, we don't check in with each other. There's really no need. He lives nearby. We see each other almost every single day. Last night GD went to a grad party with kids from his uni. He called me to say good night. I'm well aware there were girls crawling all over him and he was evidently on his way to a Beirut loss. The big deal last night was GD's act of love. It was old GD behavior. It was important to HIM for me to know I was important to him at that moment in time. It's not a grand gesture. It's not magic. It's just his way of letting me know BY letting me know. No games. Carrot
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