ismellsogood Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 The thing I hate the most about being single (even though I just ended a 4 year relationship in September!) is my friends who try to lecture me into and force me into trying out guys they think would be "good for me." After having 2 serious relationships and dating other people, I know what I like. I'm taking my time picking out a new person, but my friends don't seem to understand that! I don't date around just to say that I have been dating. I'd rather spend that time on myself or with friends if I don't really like the person. I feel like my outlook is very mature and reasonable, and I feel like just hooking up with and going out with random people I'm not mildly interested in is just me wasting my time and trying to prove something to myself and to others. I also hate that they think that just because I'm not with anyone and I haven't dated anyone since my breakup that I'm not over it. I was over him while I was with him, which is why I left him! Also, I can't stand by myself without a boyfriend or at least a friend with benefits? How does it make me weak or scared to be single? It's so annoying!!! Also...don't try to push your friends on me who you yourself would never find attractive, but because you're nice you feel bad for them, so you feel like I should be the one to save them! And don't get angry at me because I'm not doing your friend a favor by hooking up with them! God, I HATE IT! LET ME DO MY THING!
spookie Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Yah, that sucks. I think single people prefer single friends and attached people prefer attached friends. Thus all the "encouragement".
AndyW Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Yes. I have been single 6 weeks. My friends are trying to fix me up with anybody it seems. For one I am 32. I know what I want and like. For two I have never had a problem going after what I want (but when I am ready). I have made it clear to them to leave it alone. I think friends just try to help because they care. That is all. Good Luck!
Pedigree Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 I get that too, sometimes. Not from my friends but from my extended family of all people. All but 1 of my cousins already has a girlfriend/boyfriend so my single cousin and I are being "encouraged".
spookie Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 I get that too, sometimes. Not from my friends but from my extended family of all people. All but 1 of my cousins already has a girlfriend/boyfriend so my single cousin and I are being "encouraged". The other day my dad said, "Spooks, you really need to think about getting into a relationship. It's not normal that you're single - it's natural for people to get together with a partner, even if there's no love, because it's horrible to be alone. And you're getting older and older."
Trialbyfire Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 I think it sweet when my friends try to hook me up with someone. When people come from a position of caring, it doesn't bother me. I will admit that I will be a tough sell to give up my single life.
jerbear Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 The other day my dad said, "Spooks, you really need to think about getting into a relationship. It's not normal that you're single - it's natural for people to get together with a partner, even if there's no love, because it's horrible to be alone. And you're getting older and older." Did you dad talk to my dad!? :eek: Ok both my parents asked me about that. A friend of mine tried to hook me up with someone she knew. One was interested in me but relocated to another state, she was cute. To the OP: That is what I said to my parents, let me do my own thing. The "ones" they tried to hook me up are not what I am looking for. Oh well...
spookie Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 Did you dad talk to my dad!? :eek: Ok both my parents asked me about that. A friend of mine tried to hook me up with someone she knew. I think crazy Russian parents are very similar to crazy Asian parents in this regard.
jerbear Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 I think crazy Russian parents are very similar to crazy Asian parents in this regard. I got the similar words, minus the love and older part. They said I was already old. I guess it is another time they were in. It was ok to marry and have kids before 30. Now it is more common to have kids later in life after settling a little in life, career and goals. Parents do have some good intentions and they are just trying to make sure their little boy or little girl is happy. Even thought it annoys their little girl or little boy.
BiAxident Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 Personally, my friends can be divided into two groups. Group one consists of those who are married, whom I never see as they hang out with other couples. The other group is made up of people who are single and more or less hopeless at finding any woman much less an LTR. I wish I had friends who were trying to set me up on dates. My friends spend their time working low-paying jobs and drinking.
monkey00 Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 The majority of my friends are single and looking or just prefer being single. Though as of recently in the past couple months, 3 of my friends got into the dating pool and 2 of them wound up in LTR. And I too have been dating someone. My friend that go into a LTR, was introduced by our friend. In a sense what keeps us strong and together is the singledom aspect of our lives. Though, it's also normal for people to drift away from one another's lives also, even if they are in a relationship. Having friends/family that care about you meeting someone or playing matchmaker is a good thing. I have a friend who did that pretty often. And I tried that a couple times also with a friend...but hey it's not so bad, it increases your opportunities. As much as people hate to admit it, they don't have the confidence to just go up to someone to chat and asking them out. Sometimes it's more comfortable meeting someone through introduction, hey you never know you might luck out.
Pedigree Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 I got the similar words, minus the love and older part. They said I was already old. Never got the old, love, and lonely spiel. I'm only 20 so my encouragement is accompanied by the "don't waste your time and start looking" spiel.
Angels&Airwaves Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 I have one friend who just tries and sets me up with anyone woman desperate enough for a night of sex, he says that saving yourself for someone special is not only an old fashioned trait born through fear and insecurity, he says it’s a complete waste of time. My other friends try and set me up all the time at my place of education, it’s ridiculous, they never once think that I might not be emotionally or physically attracted to the girls they try and hook me up with and they don’t realise that I enjoy the single life, even if I do suffer from the lonesome day blues sometimes.
bernie888 Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 wow, just think how lucky you are! That your friends are actually thinking of you and giving you encouragement. I've been single just about my whole life and I can't remember once any friend trying to set me up with someone (I wish they would!!). Be grateful.
Angels&Airwaves Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 There’s a difference between encouragement, assistance and interference. The first few times my friends tried to set me up with someone was nice, but after that it became overwhelming and irritating.
Trialbyfire Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 It's true it depends on how they do it. I've been invited to dinner parties with set seating arrangements which can become uncomfortable when you're not interested. Sometimes it's a house party where there are only two singles, myself and the setup. Umm...duh!
daphne Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 I'm not averse to setups, I've just had some really awful attempts. 1) My dad tried to set me up with his girlfriend's son who is a redneck, alcholic and drug addict who can't keep a job due to addictions. Currently lives with overweight alcoholic girlfriend. I can only chuckle and hold back the tears that my dad doesn't get it. 2) Co-worker tried to set me up with nice guy, yuppy my age. But we simply didn't click. I wanted it to work, but he was super negative. She then tried to set me up with a wannabe player who was shady and frankly freaked me out. Cussed me out later for "meeting some of teh best guys in *our city* and you think you're too good for anyone." This, because I wouldn't date these guys and a guy who's now worth as much as p-diddy because he was my boss. It's tricky. Sometimes the setter upper gets highly insulted if you don't like their picks.
jerbear Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 Sometimes it's a house party where there are only two singles, myself and the setup. Umm...duh! I have to add happy hours and restaurant dinner gatherings to that! Guess who I was seated next to... I secretly wish some friends introduce me to their sisters.
XNemesisX Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 All 3 of my LTRs have been with people I was introduced to by mutual friends. But I have also had a friend set me up with this guy that I know she would never want to date and surely she couldn't have actually thought I would go fr him. That was irritating:rolleyes: But realize that your best shot at another relationship is going to be someone that more than likely your friends introduce you to.
latefragment Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 I have been single for a long ass time and I f*g HATE it when people try to set you up with people with no consideration of like, who you'd be interested in. Every time I get set up, it makes me uneasy and uncomfortable... I had ONE setup "work" and the rest are like, "Um, thanks, the guy's cool and everything, but... uh... no thanks!" that's mean, what I mean is, they do seem, like a previous poster said, to just try to pawn you off on the only single & available people they know, just thinking , almost with that philosophy, that it's better to be paired off than to be paired off with the right person. Anyway, also, they DO get insulted when you don't like the person they set you up with. Hell, if you like that person so much why don't YOU date them?!
Trialbyfire Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 I have to add happy hours and restaurant dinner gatherings to that! Guess who I was seated next to... I secretly wish some friends introduce me to their sisters. While it wasn't a setup, one of the guys I'm currently dating is the older brother of a good friend of mine. He went off to McGill and stayed there due to a job and gf, for about a decade, then finally moved back this year. I used to have a mad crush on him when I was in highschool.
confuzed25 Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 i understand what you mean....i know what i want and so it makes me a little picky. But im not gonna waste my time with someone im not really attracted to or wouldnt want a future with. If I am dating someone its because i could see myself having a future with them and so i am hoping it turns into a serious relationship.
monkey00 Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 I don't know about you guys but the people I know who've done the introduction thing made it so non-obvious. We all just got together for an outing me meeting their friends and vice-versa. The way I see it, it's always a good thing to have different opportunities to meet singles.
Pedigree Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 I secretly wish some friends introduce me to their sisters. Ditto. Just yesterday, I was with a friend. We were talking and he mentioned something to do with his sister. I asked him "How old is she?" and for a happy go lucky kind of guy, he suddenly turned and asked "Why do you want to know?"
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