supergirl4123 Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 I've always known my boyfriend had a large collection of porn on an external hard drive of his, but i've never actually caught him watching it before so it didnt really bother me. I guess i just figured he watched it rarely or when we were in our long distance part of the relationship or something. He told me he masturbated 2-3 times during our 2 month LDR, and that didn't bother me at all. Earlier today though, I went for a run and came home to him sleeping. I opened Windows Media Player to find porn filesfilling up the recent history. Also, 2 days ago I found he had watched porn when I was laying right next to him sleeping. I'm pretty sure it was when he came home in the morning during his 1-1.5 hr break before he has to be to work at 9. I found it in the WMP play history after i woke up and he was at work. (I didn't actually "catch" him in the act, but I found it on his recent file history in our apartment that only us two use.) I totally understand if he wanted to watch it while we were apart, but now that we're together again, I don't get why he would still need to watch it. Especially to watch it when I'm sleeping right next to him or when I leave the house for an hour or so (we're living together currently). We have sex every day or every other day usually. Occaisionally, it might go to 3 days but rarely. I would think if he wanted to have sex more often, he would tell me. We've always been good about talking about things like that. I just don't get why he is doing this when I'm literally right there. I plan to ask him about it but I wanted to know if anyone has any opinions or advice for me first..
AndyW Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Just for the record I would guess 99% of men watch porn of some sort (JUST A GUESS). Magazines, on-line, dvds. You are engaged so I would just ask him. You guys seem pretty open. Maybe he was just in the mood and you were sleeping. I think it is pretty normal. He clearly loves you (engaged), he is clearly into you (sex everyday), sometimes porn is just easy for a quick release (simple so to speak). I had a great sex life with my ex but I still would look at porn once in awhile. For no other reason then I am a guy and maybe I was bored one day . But it was not because I wasn't into my ex. Just my thoughts.
spookie Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 He masturbated 2-3 times in 2 months! Haha! Or did you mean 2-3 times/day? Honestly sex with partner and sex with self are very different, and IMO both are necessary for a healthy sex life. If this is the biggest issue you have, let it go; you're damn lucky.
Author supergirl4123 Posted May 31, 2008 Author Posted May 31, 2008 He said 2-3 times total, but after the past couple days I'm really betting that was a lie, haha. I only did like 3 times I think while we were apart but girls don't have that strong of a need I guess.
spookie Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 He said 2-3 times total, but after the past couple days I'm really betting that was a lie, haha. I only did like 3 times I think while we were apart but girls don't have that strong of a need I guess. Some girls do.
Replicant Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 He said 2-3 times total, but after the past couple days I'm really betting that was a lie, haha. I only did like 3 times I think while we were apart but girls don't have that strong of a need I guess. I'm sure he kept the number low as if to paint an illusion of committal, where as if he said 2-3 times....A day! You'd probably have snapped and wonder what was the source of sexual gratification. Just chill on this issue now, you are getting dramatic. Discuss your relationship (not the porn) then just ramp up the amount of sex so he's too 'drained' to even think about powering on the PC..in more ways than one. good luck
Art_Critic Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 but girls don't have that strong of a need I guess. Most of the women I've do it more than that.. One girl I dated did it in the shower every single morning... Not a big deal.. Try not to tie his love for you to masturbation.. they aren't in his head..
trubella Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 there have been alot of "my boyfriend/SO watches porn" threads lately, i honestly dont understand what the big deal is, as long as its not an addiction and hes not on it 24hours a day and neglecting you. most men watch it, my bf watches, hell even i watch sometimes, no biggie.
fral945 Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 I would think if he wanted to have sex more often, he would tell me. Not necessarily. In my ideal world I would like to have sex 3 or 4 times a day, but I don't know many women available or willing to do it that often. He may not want to be needy by calling your home when you're away to come home for sex or constantly nagging you for it. Instead, he may take care of it himself from time to time. I've done that, I just felt I was being considerate of the other person. Of course, the easiest way to get an answer is to ask him. I don't think you have much to worry about though.
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 totally understand if he wanted to watch it while we were apart, but now that we're together again, I don't get why he would still need to watch it. Because sex with you and masturbating to porn are not the same thing. Same outcome, but different motivations/sensations. Porn is simply the tool that gives him some variety to heighten the sensation and move things along quicker. It has nothing to do with you or your sex life. That said, if he masturbates to porn INSTEAD of having sex with you, then you have a problem. As it is, you just have a guy who finds it easier to rub one off to ease some testosterone tension, and uses porn as a tool in the process. Wanting to masturbate doesn't mean he is unhappy with his sex life. Its the sexual equivalent of burping the tupperware when it isn't dinnertime yet.
Lizzie60 Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 I've always known my boyfriend had a large collection of porn on an external hard drive of his, but i've never actually caught him watching it before so it didnt really bother me. I guess i just figured he watched it rarely or when we were in our long distance part of the relationship or something. He told me he masturbated 2-3 times during our 2 month LDR, and that didn't bother me at all. Earlier today though, I went for a run and came home to him sleeping. I opened Windows Media Player to find porn filesfilling up the recent history. Also, 2 days ago I found he had watched porn when I was laying right next to him sleeping. I'm pretty sure it was when he came home in the morning during his 1-1.5 hr break before he has to be to work at 9. I found it in the WMP play history after i woke up and he was at work. (I didn't actually "catch" him in the act, but I found it on his recent file history in our apartment that only us two use.) I totally understand if he wanted to watch it while we were apart, but now that we're together again, I don't get why he would still need to watch it. Especially to watch it when I'm sleeping right next to him or when I leave the house for an hour or so (we're living together currently). We have sex every day or every other day usually. Occaisionally, it might go to 3 days but rarely. I would think if he wanted to have sex more often, he would tell me. We've always been good about talking about things like that. I just don't get why he is doing this when I'm literally right there. I plan to ask him about it but I wanted to know if anyone has any opinions or advice for me first.. Your bf is a liar.. this caught my attention (bold) yeah right.. 2-3 times in a 2-month period.. what a liar.
hip chick Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 I do have to say that if it's filling up your fiance's harddrive and he is doing it to the extent you are saying....that is too much. I am not on the "ALL guys are into porn and do it every chance they get." I would think if you wanted to be with a guy like this because I have dated guys who weren't into porn, that is gross.
trubella Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 I would think if you wanted to be with a guy like this because I have dated guys who weren't into porn, that is gross. you have got to be kidding..
Carmen87 Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 While you may not be comfortable with it, it really has nothing to do with inadequacy on your part. Some guys rarely turn to porn while in a relationship and getting sex on a daily basis, while others will still make time for it. It is simply going to depend on the guy. You need to seperate masturbation and your sex life. If he needs his time for himself, let him have it. If it bothers you that much, sit him down to talk. You could maybe even offer to have him take some photos of you to use occassionally.
hip chick Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 Most of the women I've do it more than that.. One girl I dated did it in the shower every single morning... Not a big deal.. Try not to tie his love for you to masturbation.. they aren't in his head.. The problem is the porn, though. I just read in a magazine that porn addiction is really affecting marriages negatively because men can't perform with their own wives because a live person can't compete with the stimulation porn provides.
hip chick Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 you have got to be kidding.. Honestly there are a lot of quality men out there who aren't into porn and prefer the real thing their partner can provide.
Tomcat33 Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 Honestly there are a lot of quality men out there who aren't into porn and prefer the real thing their partner can provide. :lmao: ooooooookkkkkkkkkkk. There are a lot more quality men that prefer to be with a live woman, but still enjoy the escape of porn.
trubella Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 :lmao: ooooooookkkkkkkkkkk. There are a lot more quality men that prefer to be with a live woman, but still enjoy the escape of porn. thank you.. you see it all at ls.
Art_Critic Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 The problem is the porn, though. I just read in a magazine that porn addiction is really affecting marriages negatively because men can't perform with their own wives because a live person can't compete with the stimulation porn provides. There is a difference in someone who watches porn for a bit of stimulation and someone who is addicted to porn.. Just like someone who drinks a drink on occasion and someone who is addicted.. Males are not the only ones who watch porn as well... and as far as finding a good man who doesn't watch porn.. sure they are out there.. but so are good guys that watch porn or good women that watch porn.
hip chick Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 :lmao: ooooooookkkkkkkkkkk. There are a lot more quality men that prefer to be with a live woman, but still enjoy the escape of porn. Just because you do, doesn't mean all men are into that. Lots of guys simply don't do that - they have better things to do with their time like yardwork, etc.
Art_Critic Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 Lots of guys simply don't do that - they have better things to do with their time like yardwork, etc. What does yardwork have to do with watching or not watching porn ? It takes 5 mins to pop in a video and rub one off.. I would bet my last dollar that the guys who don't watch porn don't watch it for other reasons than they don't have time to.
Tomcat33 Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 thank you.. you see it all at ls. yeah these threads are so redundant and it is always the same bitter women with "issues" the exact same comments about how they are disguted and threatened by porn. Porn is here to stay and more men than not are into it and it has nothing to do with how good or bad a man is, it has to with how much he enjoys sexual escape. I agree with what Art said, there is a difference between fun and addiction. And both men and women enjoy it. I'll tell you this though if I were a man and I had to put up with these bitter control freaks that complain about men using porn and how disgusting they are, it would drive me to become and addict for SURE.
Tomcat33 Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 Lots of guys simply don't do that - they have better things to do with their time like yardwork, etc. :lmao::lmao: "yardwork"? :lmao::lmao: :lmao::laugh:
Carmen87 Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 What does yardwork have to do with watching or not watching porn ? It takes 5 mins to pop in a video and rub one off.. I would bet my last dollar that the guys who don't watch porn don't watch it for other reasons than they don't have time to. Absolutely agree. I have a guy friend and my current boyfriend do not really watch porn. Both have told me it is because they never did when they were younger so they never feel they need it. I am not sure how that makes sense, but I am not sure its worth delving into the male mind.
hip chick Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 Absolutely agree. I have a guy friend and my current boyfriend do not really watch porn. Both have told me it is because they never did when they were younger so they never feel they need it. I am not sure how that makes sense, but I am not sure its worth delving into the male mind. How could you say it doesn't make sense if a guy doesn't spend money on porn and would rather actually do something productive with their time? These guys do exist.
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