pandagirl Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 have any of you ever been happy about a break up? because i am actually giddy about mine. i only dated this guy for one month, but i had so much personal growth during this one month that it's been hugely beneficial to my life. he was the first guy i ever told about me having herpes (he was accepting) and the first guy i was every brutally honest with about my feelings. it helps that the guy and i were on the same page and even though he broke it off with me, i understood where he was coming from, so in that way, it was a mutual breakup. he treated me with such respect and honesty that it was almost complimentary. granted, it was a shortlived dating experience with little emotional investment, but i feel like i am walking away with lots of lessons learned and, hopefully, a new friend.
hip chick Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Obviously you weren't on the same page. In another thread, you complained about him not contacting you that much and not seeming that into you.
Art_Critic Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 I think I've learned something from each breakup that I've had except for maybe one or two of them.. Those 2 breakups the relationships were really just a waste of my time and I didn't get or learn anything from them but all the rest including my first marriage I got to learn more about myself. I've always been the type who takes time after a breakup to figure things out and fix myself if I felt I did something wrong in that relationship. Giddy.. I've never been Giddy about a breakup.. I am glad today that I'm not still married to my first wife and I'm glad I divorced her but I'm not glad that my first marriage failed. All in all.. If the breakups that I have been thru never happened I would have never met my wife.. who is the love of my life and the mother of my child.. I give thanks to all my breakups.. they helped me along the path till I found the one who I was able to honestly say I love with all my heart.. I'm sorry it didn't work out with your guy Panda.. I was pulling for you, at least you have a great attitude about it and have learned a great deal about yourself in the process that will make the next relationship better and stronger..
Author pandagirl Posted May 31, 2008 Author Posted May 31, 2008 Thanks, AC. You know, I knew deep down inside that thing weren't going to work. We'll make great friends, but as for a relationship, we were too different and looking for different things in a partner. I think I'm happy about it because I was able to be open and honest about how I was feeling every step of the way, which I have never been able to do before.
LoveLace Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 I can actually say I was happy about a break-up after a 3 year relationship, with my ex from high school; we were engaged, (young and dumb) but we were definitely in love...however I went away for college about 2 hours away and it was very hard leaving him, even though I tried to visit him every weekend. But as time went on, I would find myself missing my friends from college while I was with him. I was discovering myself in a big way, and I just didn't feel "in love" with him anymore. My visits grew less and less frequent, until he finally was the one to break up with me...he was crying his eyes out, and deep down I was thinking "I'm free!"....when I got back to school, I was a little down for a day or two, that's about it..hard to believe how easy it was, after thinking I was going to marry him and such. I went to away to school thinking I would do everything in my power to keep us from growing a part, then I ended being the very reason that it happened. I still have no regrets, even though to this day he is the only guy who has ever truly loved me.
kizik Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 I was a little down for a day or two, that's about it..hard to believe how easy it was, after thinking I was going to marry him and such. Man, I sincerely hope my ex gf isn't thinking the way you are... "Glad to get rid of HIM!" Though she could be, and I'll never know.
replicator Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Seriously.. It is scary how women can detach themselves so easily! I thought females were the ones who were emotional! From what I've seen, guys don't fall in love easily, but when they do, they fall damn hard and it is very difficult for us to let go.
Author pandagirl Posted May 31, 2008 Author Posted May 31, 2008 I don't think women can detach themselves very easily. It's a case by case basis. But, I will say that women are just more in tune and constantly aware of their emotions. When you break-up with someone, if there is closure and understanding, women are able to cope with those feelings and move on. Perhaps men find this process a bit more daunting because they aren't as emotional as women are, and thus find the feelings overwhelming.
tinktronik Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 I would say I have had several R where it was just no big deal to break up.A few short term ones that ended because the interest in sustaining them was just missing from one side or the other. I had a long-term R before I married my ex that lasted 3 years that I was happy to end and we did so mutually. My marriage ended rocky, but I think we both agree that it was in our best interests. In fact in hindsight I cannot remember being torn up about any R other than my M ending , and I was not torn up at losing my exH but at failing at marriage itself and not being able to raise our children as one unit.I have one R that I ended that I can look back on and think it may have worked out really well, but I don't even regret the ending of that one.
LoveLace Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 Seriously.. It is scary how women can detach themselves so easily! I thought females were the ones who were emotional! I think the only reason it was so easy for me was because I was 2 hours away, learning about "the real world", etc, and discovering all kinds of things about myself, making more friends than I ever thought possible. Trust me, since then I've had plenty of times when it was very difficult for me to let go; in fact I've sometimes wondered if my experiences with men that followed was my punishment! I agree with the "case by case" thing like pandagirl said. It all depends on the situation and the person.
LoveLace Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 Man, I sincerely hope my ex gf isn't thinking the way you are... "Glad to get rid of HIM!" Though she could be, and I'll never know. I doubt it but I don't know your story. In my case it was more about my "freedom" and the pressure to stay invested, more than it was about him as a boyfriend - he was a wonderful guy.
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