My Girlfriend broke up with me and know I think she wants me back

[mattiefizzle]

So my Girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me about a month ago. I was planning on going to massage school and she didn't agree with it. She said she wanted me to go to regular college but that she was tired of waiting for me and that she needed someone who was willing to be a provider for her. I told her I wanted to be all those things but she just couldn't trust me. She also said that she had lost her attractiveness for me. I had gained about 30 pounds since we had started dating and I was starting to get a little to comfortable. (by the way I'm 20, and she is 21) When people start dating they get happy and they don't watch what they eat as much. Also she said that I needed someone that would treat me right. These are all sort of copout excuses and I could see right through it. We both took each others virginity and I asked her if that even ment anything to her, she said it did but that I had just dragged her down so far that she needed to get away from me. So from the sounds of it its over right? thats what I thought. So I had a lot of time to think and I decided to go to regular college and I will admit it was to kind of get her back and I tried to get her back and she just said that I needed to go out and do it on my own and that I dragged her down to far. but the thing is, is she is still texting me and shes being confusing about her sticking to her reasons for breaking up with me. She'll be like "I want you to get over me, for now" and I'm thinking for now? what? what is that supposed to mean. So anyway I decided to let it die and that I needed to get away from her. I told her not to call me or text me and that I would just put her mail on her car. Well that sort of worked but since we broke up I've lost 30 pounds and she ran into me at the gym and ever since she wont stop texting me. just like random stuff. We got a dog together and I'm the one who has it. IN fact when I tried getting back with her before I told I know she misses me and the dog and she admitted to it but she said that all the other stuff out weighs the both of us(keep in mind this is since i had lost all my weight.) Well now she texted me saying she missed the dog and wanted to see him. I told her she could just come over and get him and take him to the park. When she came over she was like "well, you can come if you want" I thought oh well whatever so I went, now she's just being weird like I can tell she thinks I look good and that I have my life on track and everything. I can tell she misses me and that the reason to come see the dog, was to see him, but to also try and see me. What should I do? Should I tell ask her what her feelings are? or should I just tell her to leave me alone. Im fine with both kind of cause I'm enjoying my free time, but at the same time I do miss, its just confusing to know what she wants. anyway thanks alot.

[Kamille]

The first thing you should do is stop making major life decisions based on what she thinks - especially now that you are broken up. You have nothing to prove to her. The best thing you can do for yourself is follow your own path and meet someone who will be supportive of your choices and decisions.

 

I hope you gave up massage school for another reason then to show your ex you were on the right track, not least of all because it seems to me that she might be misinformed about career opportunities in massage therapy. Many of my friends have established private practices and none of them struggle to provide for their families. On top of that, there are great opportunities for travel for massage therapists. You could basically work anywhere people are willing to fork out 100$ for treatment. You could even specialize in sport therapy and work for major sports organizations, depending on where you live. I'm just saying, massage therapy is a booming field, and a sound career choice.

 

Second, I would recommand you not ask her what her feelings are. Keep enjoying your free time - and doing things for yourself (like going to the gym, going to school). If she is second-guessing her decision, it is up to her to tell you about it.

[lovelyfi]

hey

am sorry your going through so much but you have to be careful if she didnt like you when you were being yourself she only wants you back because she sees your a better person now and for the fact that you look good and have lost a few pounds ..sometimes women want what they can't have its the way we are .Stick to your gutts tell her what you think what happens if you gained a few pounds again ill she walk away again ? i dont think you want to experience that again .Your partner is supposed to make you feel better not otherwise .she is bad news all am saying is follow your heart whatever decision you will be making is up to you but as soon as you gain she will dump you again am sure you can do better than that.you need a partner who is going to love you for you, be supportive not someone who is going to bring you down and make you feel like a loser..good luck i hope this helps.

[justine4]

Second, I would recommand you not ask her what her feelings are. Keep enjoying your free time - and doing things for yourself (like going to the gym, going to school). If she is second-guessing her decision, it is up to her to tell you about it.

 

This is very true. Don't 'rock the boat' by declaring your feelings for her, and especially not asking her what her feelings are as it may just push her away. Though I suspect, she is already reconsidering her decision and obviously seeing the dog is a perfect excuse for her to keep contact with you.

 

If you want to get back together, be relaxed and take things slowly. The more she sees you content with yourself, the more attractive you'll become to her - and not just because of the weightloss (by the way, WELL DONE!) but self-confidence and good self-esteem is very attractive!

 

I wish you the very best of luck!

[mattiefizzle]

Thank you all for your responses. Well I did decide to go to school for myself, I did have that underling hope that she would want to come back to me. But now Im totally going for me and thats that. I do think Massage is a good field but I rushed into, I had never wanted to do it before so when I had time to think I realized that I had rushed myself. I've always wanted to be an urban planner, and thats what I'm working on. I mean it wasn't all her fault, I was really attached and I really had no friends so I kind of depended on her for stuff to do and that can weigh on someone ya know. So I can see where she was mad and pissy at me a lot. now it just seems like she's over that especially because she asked who I hang out with and she told just a lot of people and she was kind of surprised I think. I dunno, I'm just sort of lost, at the same time though I'm just going with the flow. I'll just keep being me cause thats all I can be.

[Bright Shadow]

I mean it wasn't all her fault, I was really attached and I really had no friends so I kind of depended on her for stuff to do and that can weigh on someone ya know.

Now you need to go and do something about that. You need to have a couple of good guy friends to hang out with.

 

Girls chase guys who don't need them. At the moment she's seeing that you don't need her. You are getting on with your life and she finds that attractive. You need to keep doing that. Forever.