Author pandagirl Posted May 31, 2008 Author Posted May 31, 2008 I have a friend who has never had a long term relationship, she has some isssues from childhood that prevented her from forming normal relationships with men and she is absolutely clueless as to how to be courted by a man from lack of experience. She is gorgeous I mean very attractive woman and great personality, career and driven and she can get many guys but they don't stick around she makes mistake after mistake after mistake and they lose interest. At times she gets frustrated with me because she asks for my guidance and then she does the complete opposite because she is stubborn and set in her ways only to find that she keeps repeating the same patterns time and time and again with the exact same outcome, misery. Anyway she is at the point now where she really wants to settle down and despertately wants a boyfriend. She passes up all these opportunities to go out with men that are LESS than perfect for what she is looking for and meanwhile time is passing and she has learnend nothing about how to deal with men. This actually sounds a lot like me. And I was able to break the pattern with this guy. He surprisingly said to me last night: "You're really good at dating though!" I'm just going to try to ride this positive momentum onto other guys.
Tomcat33 Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 This actually sounds a lot like me. And I was able to break the pattern with this guy. He surprisingly said to me last night: "You're really good at dating though!" I'm just going to try to ride this positive momentum onto other guys. Good girl, practice does make perfect, or pretty darn close.
SouthernT Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 I think a lot of people feel this way about other people. He was also perfect on paper, but I wasn't falling for him either. You can't fall in love with everyone. Perfect or not, sometimes things that should work out between two people, don't. And that's why there's a thing called "Friends." Your attitude and self reflection/growth about this is awesome! Question though. So now, do you think the following is goin to happen: Do you think that you will keep coming across guys that are down for protected sex (after you have disclosed your HSV status ), down for protected sex a couple of times. BUT not ok with a LONG TERM relationship towards marriage. Because that would mean wanting to enjoy unprotected sex and THEN he risks getting it himself?
spookie Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 I think a lot of people feel this way about other people. He was also perfect on paper, but I wasn't falling for him either. You can't fall in love with everyone. Perfect or not, sometimes things that should work out between two people, don't. And that's why there's a thing called "Friends." Well put!!!!
D-Lish Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 People with hsv can and do have healthy babies with their partners. If there is a risk of transmission- they will do a c-section. Art had a baby with his wife recently. I believe he said she has hsv. (sorry if I misread that somewhere art).
Art_Critic Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 People with hsv can and do have healthy babies with their partners. If there is a risk of transmission- they will do a c-section. Art had a baby with his wife recently. I believe he said she has hsv. (sorry if I misread that somewhere art). While we had a baby recently D-lish she doesn't have it.. she was tested for it however because she was having a child.
hip chick Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 You still haven't addressed while you started a thread about being upset because you gave this guy oral sex then he "blew you off" (didn't call) for a while. You wouldn't have done that if you just weren't into him and had no attachment as you claim.
hip chick Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Are you kidding? because there is no barrometer for love, a person can be perfect for one person and not for the next and it has nothing to do with being PERFECT as a human being. Hipchick you call yourself "hip" because you are cool or because of the size of the region from your waist to your pelvic area? Because I'm cool. I work out quite a bit. Being thin and in shape is hip. I'm all the things that Pandagirl claims herself to be, with the added bonus - I don't have herpes.
D-Lish Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 While we had a baby recently D-lish she doesn't have it.. she was tested for it however because she was having a child. lol- no tarnishing your good name! my apologies!
Art_Critic Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 lol- no tarnishing your good name! my apologies! No sweat...good name.. psfffff....
D-Lish Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Because I'm cool. I work out quite a bit. Being thin and in shape is hip. I'm all the things that Pandagirl claims herself to be, with the added bonus - I don't have herpes. Why do you just keep making up new accounts just to come back and be a bitter antagonist. People with good self images and happy lives don't go around throwing hateful garbage insults at people like you do. People that are angry and unhappy sure do resort to that kind of behaviour though.
hip chick Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Why do you just keep making up new accounts just to come back and be a bitter antagonist. People with good self images and happy lives don't go around throwing hateful garbage insults at people like you do. People that are angry and unhappy sure do resort to that kind of behaviour though. Uh, Tomcat started insulting me. It wasn't aimed at her. I have a high self-esteem. I'm just pointing out that the OP is contradicting what she said about her feelings for the guy in other threads. (Like when she freaked out over him not calling after she gave him oral sex)
spookie Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Because I'm cool. I work out quite a bit. Being thin and in shape is hip. I'm all the things that Pandagirl claims herself to be, with the added bonus - I don't have herpes. I believe pandagirl isn't a giant b***c.
Author pandagirl Posted May 31, 2008 Author Posted May 31, 2008 Your attitude and self reflection/growth about this is awesome! Question though. So now, do you think the following is goin to happen: Do you think that you will keep coming across guys that are down for protected sex (after you have disclosed your HSV status ), down for protected sex a couple of times. BUT not ok with a LONG TERM relationship towards marriage. Because that would mean wanting to enjoy unprotected sex and THEN he risks getting it himself? I would think guys would be more into dating a girl with HSV in a long term relationship, rather than a fling, because why would your expose yourself to HSV just for a quickie or a fling? I think guys who are JUST looking to get laid probably would not risk it though. However if a guy, like my most recent dude, genuinely likes me and want to have sex, wouldn't have no problem with it. That being said, it all really depends on the person.
SouthernT Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Because I'm cool. I work out quite a bit. Being thin and in shape is hip. I'm all the things that Pandagirl claims herself to be, with the added bonus - I don't have herpes. That was SO incredibly rude and condescending.
Author pandagirl Posted May 31, 2008 Author Posted May 31, 2008 Dude. Hip Chick. What is your problem? I dont really see why you seem so intent on bringing me down. Yes, THINGS DID NOT WORK OUT. But do I think he was using me? No way. We went on dates and had conversations that lasted four hours. He met my friends. I met his friends. Ironically, the reason the relationship didn't work out, was because we were too much like friends and not more like lovers. This means we actually get along famously. In response to the oral sex thing: yes, I was insecure. Yes, that was probably the beginning of the end, but giving him oral sex was not the downfall of the relationship! It had nothing to do with it. We're just two different people wanting different things in a partner. ALSO: I don't claim to be ANYTHING. Would I describe myself as "sexy and beautiful"? Not really. I use the adjectives "silly, goofy and weird." But it's nice when a guy thinks you are beautiful and sexy, especially if you don't view yourself in that manner. And to add one more thing, Hip Chick, but I am pretty awesome. And I think this about myself because I am kind to people, honest, and always try to do what's right in regards in how to treat other people. I have an army full of wonderful, supportive friends and family who will attest to this. And I would never throw out stupid, meaningless insults around to people on a message board. Do you really have to bring people down to make yourself feel better about yourself? Grow up.
Tomcat33 Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 Because I'm cool. I work out quite a bit. Being thin and in shape is hip. I'm all the things that Pandagirl claims herself to be, with the added bonus - I don't have herpes. I'm sorry but "cool" people don't go around putting down other people for no apparent reason. And for the record being slim has NOTHING to do with being cool, good attitude does, something you seem to lack signficantly. You have been insulting Panda left and right throughout this entire thread, what exactly is your beef her anyway?
Tomcat33 Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 I'm all the things that Pandagirl claims herself to be, with the added bonus - I don't have herpes. WOW that last part was so incredibly mean. You may not have herpes but you have cancer of character.
D-Lish Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 Dude. Hip Chick. What is your problem? I dont really see why you seem so intent on bringing me down. Yes, THINGS DID NOT WORK OUT. But do I think he was using me? No way. We went on dates and had conversations that lasted four hours. He met my friends. I met his friends. Ironically, the reason the relationship didn't work out, was because we were too much like friends and not more like lovers. This means we actually get along famously. In response to the oral sex thing: yes, I was insecure. Yes, that was probably the beginning of the end, but giving him oral sex was not the downfall of the relationship! It had nothing to do with it. We're just two different people wanting different things in a partner. ALSO: I don't claim to be ANYTHING. Would I describe myself as "sexy and beautiful"? Not really. I use the adjectives "silly, goofy and weird." But it's nice when a guy thinks you are beautiful and sexy, especially if you don't view yourself in that manner. And to add one more thing, Hip Chick, but I am pretty awesome. And I think this about myself because I am kind to people, honest, and always try to do what's right in regards in how to treat other people. I have an army full of wonderful, supportive friends and family who will attest to this. And I would never throw out stupid, meaningless insults around to people on a message board. Do you really have to bring people down to make yourself feel better about yourself? Grow up. Just disregard the rude comments PG- I don't know why people come on to a board like this to vent personal frustrations- but they do... Mean people suck. You didn't handle this wrong at all! I commend you for all your honesty. Embrace your supporters and just disregard the crappy comments.
Tomcat33 Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 I have a high self-esteem. I'm just pointing out that the OP is contradicting what she said about her feelings for the guy in other threads. (Like when she freaked out over him not calling after she gave him oral sex) A person with high self esteem does not point out the weak and then proceed to pick on them, self-loathing cowards do.
hip chick Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 A person with high self esteem does not point out the weak and then proceed to pick on them, self-loathing cowards do. I'm not a self-loathing coward, just pointing out that she was contradicting herself. You are the one picking on me, especially with the hips comment. It's pretty clear from her own posts that she was really into the guy and he just wasn't that into her. That's all I'm sayin'. To give her body to him after he dumped her to me indicates that she was trying to keep him with sex. He already was making her unhappy by withdrawing after she gave him oral sex. Now he dumps her and she sleeps with him. This guy was manipulating her weakness and low self-esteem, that's pretty clear. I was just making a point, not running anyone down.
Nemo Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 Mean people suck. This is precisely the trouble with the world today. Why can't we all focus on the positive, instead of dwelling on the negative? Mean people suck?! What about, "Mean people give great oral." There you go. If you can't say something nice about people, then you best keep quiet.
Tomcat33 Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 It's pretty clear from her own posts that she was really into the guy and he just wasn't that into her. That's all I'm sayin'. To give her body to him after he dumped her to me indicates that she was trying to keep him with sex. He already was making her unhappy by withdrawing after she gave him oral sex. Now he dumps her and she sleeps with him. This guy was manipulating her weakness and low self-esteem, that's pretty clear. I was just making a point, not running anyone down. And that's fine you can interpret her actions however you please, but after she has explained why she has chosen to do what she has done, what is your point in continuing to pick on her? What is it about yourself that you hate so much that you see in Panda? She doesn't see it as being manipulated regardless of how you see it from the outside and she has chosen to focus on how SHE has benefited from this situation so what are you getting from continuing to point out the negatives as you see and preceive them? your point is taken, you disapprove of her actions but when you start to say someone has no selfrespect and low selfesteem you had better be ready to back that up, and so far the only thing you have been able to back up is the notion that you are meanspirted and judgemental of those people's actions that don't agree with yours. "I'm just sayin'..."
carhill Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 pandagirl, I'd love to be where you are. I think it's a very healthy place. If my wife could only communicate with your clarity and insight, I'd be a happily married man Time to hit the bricks again. More good men await!
hip chick Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 She is not being true when she says she really wasn't that into the guy. I don't disapprove, she's the one who has to live with her actions of giving physical pleasure to a guy who just wanted to use her for sex and didn't see her as good enough for anything else. This has nothing to do with myself, this is about Pandagirl.
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