lolz Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 decisions always about decisions... and why always not wanting to hurt people? this is my scenario: married since 2002, in 2006 i started an affair with a guy working in my same Co but different city. My husband had been a total prick, being selfish an arrogant, and me NEVER knowing how to deal with these things, decided that the ebst way to comfirt myself was to stab him in the back without him knowing. The problem is that what started as something to go back at him, end up with me totally mad about guy2 and what was a funny paris affair started to be the center of my life with weekends away and husband BUYING every single cookoo story i cold sell, i know for a fact he doesnt have anyone else (if u are wondering this) then 2 months ago i decided to move out, but on the excuse that they way he was treating me was not all acceptable (i m a chciken to admit i have another person in my life, cos as well this person is allergic to commitment, though he claims to adore me) of ocurse i still see my ex, and of course i still guy2 but i fell that the feelings for my ex are like the ones u have for someone that knows all about u so is more like a comfort zone, guy2 is all roses cos we se each other every 5 weeks. thouh we work 2gether everyday and chat everyday biz and personal. and of course now hubby is asking to try again 2gether but i m terrified of a) having to leave my guy2 relationship and b) being treated like a doormat again (no violnece involved, only bullying verbally) anyone has been in a sit like this b4? is me being an histerycal female or is it just love is lost. any comments will be really really appreciated. thx lolz:o
Exl Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Hello. First of all, cheating is wrong. That's my personal view. No matter what the background is, if people want to be with someone else, they should end up their current relationship. Now, you got more than you bargained for and you're confused. You'd probably like to keep both. I'm sorry to tell you this but you're going in for a LOOOONG ride... Good luck
motive2002 Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 married since 2002, in 2006 i started an affair The question is, why did you marry this man in the first place? Why are you still married to him if you're unhappy? Did you even try to work the problems out? What about marriage counseling? I'm 36 and have never been married. You'd probably think I was a commitment-phobe, but the way I see it is that I understand what is involved in marriage. I'm in it for the long haul. When I get married it's going to be for the rest of my life. I'm sure there was some time when you felt the same about your husband. You probably never even considered the thought of cheating. Now look where you are. You had better get busy patching things up with the hubby, or start the divorce process. Hanging onto him for your own comfort zone is very cowardly and selfish.. and you know it! Maybe he's controlling, or treats you like a doormat like you said or whatever, but he's a human being! If you can't forgive your husband for his behavior, or at least try to work it out with him you need to end it for his sake... and for yours.
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