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my ex is reaching out to me now!


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Posted
I hope he has an amazing musician who gives him everything I couldn't.

 

Yeah? I pity that woman. She'll be with a man who isn't so keen on hygiene, doesn't care about her other interests, will dump on a whim, will not allow her to stay the night, because he needs to cuddle a lifeless object and neglects his health.

 

Yeah. Somebody to spend a lifetime with.

Posted

Schiller (if you're familiar with his plays) couldn't play an instrument either.

 

Oh my god, The Robbers! That's such a beautiful play! I double-majored in English and Theatre as an undergrad, so I took tons o' theatre history.

 

And I'm sure if she's a musician he treats her well. Perhaps he even bathes for her!! If anyone ever gets him to use deodorant, that's how she'll know it's true love.

Posted

Great answer NM, more spilled coffee, over here!

 

 

And Kamille, of course I know how beautiful and challenging yoga is, and I love and respect the discipline with all my heart. When I was with him I used to think maybe he thought it was kind of cool to have a girlfriend who could do a back walkover, put her feet behind her head, and do belly rolls underneath him in bed! But he didn't. He actually told me a few times that he didn't want to spend the night because he hadn't slept with his bass in several days. He liked to put it on the side of the bed I would have taken up. He told me a couple of times, "If the bass could f*ck me back, you'd be outta luck." How do you come away from that with any self-worth at all?

 

I thought I was pretty rockin' before I hooked up with him. But he completely decimated all that. He put me in my place. I'm trying to see the positive in that and think maybe he did me a favor.

 

Listening to that voice that says everything is ok has nothing to do with your ex Sedge, and you know it.

 

Do it, ok? Tune in to that feeling of well-being, of love, next time you are in child's pose.

 

Part of the reason you hang on to these negative thoughts is because it is your way of hanging on to the love you gave him. The only way you have found to redeem it so far is to put yourself down, and eventually you are back to telling yourself you were worthless. Let him go Sedge, thoughts of him are holding you back. Start thinking of yourself for yourself. Start detaching your thought from him. It won't be easy - but the way to do this is to get back to thinking you are pretty rocking, better and wiser for the experience.

Posted

Isn't it? I love him! And definately prefer him over Goethe any time, when it comes to his plays. Sigh. Faust is the most overrated thing in German literature. Well, second to Faust II. :sick:

 

But you know what? Beethoven said that writing a music to a poem was one of the most difficult things you could do, because the music had to live up to the poem. Not the other way around. He greatly admired Schiller, and Ode to Joy is one of the greatest unions of literature and music I know. You could have formed such a union, if your boyfriend had realized it. He fell short and couldn't live up to you. Not the other way around.

 

You're Schiller, he wasn't Beethoven. Maybe Beethoven is out there.

 

And I'm sure if she's a musician he treats her well. Perhaps he even bathes for her!! If anyone ever gets him to use deodorant, that's how she'll know it's true love.

 

LOL

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Posted

Well, I actually reached out to her for once. I apologized for being a bit cold to her, and asked if we could chat. She told me about her new kitten and then we actually talked and she told me a few things she missed about me, that are missing from her new love interest.

 

We talked about other stuff too. Not sure it will lead anywhere, but we both agreed that we were best friends which makes it more difficult to completely move on.

 

I won't lie. We did share a few tears, but it's been three weeks since I've talked to her, and she initially reached out to me because she thought three weeks was kind of a limit that she'd "need" to talk to me.

 

I did reach out to her. She was glad I did. I asked her if it was weird talking to her. She said she felt a bit guilty, but not weird. It really was nice speaking with her. I think we're at a point between us that we can just have a semi-normal conversation.

 

PS. what happeend to my thread? :)

Posted

tealeaf: I am glad you're making steps to have a normal relationship with her (not romantic-wise, of course). :)

 

You were friends, maybe you can be friends again in the future. Take it slow. You're a good guy.

 

Sorry for the threadjack. :o

Posted
Well, I actually reached out to her for once. I apologized for being a bit cold to her, and asked if we could chat. She told me about her new kitten and then we actually talked and she told me a few things she missed about me, that are missing from her new love interest.

 

We talked about other stuff too. Not sure it will lead anywhere, but we both agreed that we were best friends which makes it more difficult to completely move on.

 

I won't lie. We did share a few tears, but it's been three weeks since I've talked to her, and she initially reached out to me because she thought three weeks was kind of a limit that she'd "need" to talk to me.

 

I did reach out to her. She was glad I did. I asked her if it was weird talking to her. She said she felt a bit guilty, but not weird. It really was nice speaking with her. I think we're at a point between us that we can just have a semi-normal conversation.

 

PS. what happeend to my thread? :)

 

Good to hear it tealeafbud. My ex and I have reinstated contact and though it was really difficult at first, I think we're reaching a balance now. It's helped me keep things in perspective.

 

Sorry about the bit of a threadjack. It all veered off the topic of whether or not dumpers had it as easy as Sedge painted it.

Posted
Well, I actually reached out to her for once. I apologized for being a bit cold to her, and asked if we could chat. She told me about her new kitten and then we actually talked and she told me a few things she missed about me, that are missing from her new love interest.

 

We talked about other stuff too. Not sure it will lead anywhere, but we both agreed that we were best friends which makes it more difficult to completely move on.

 

I won't lie. We did share a few tears, but it's been three weeks since I've talked to her, and she initially reached out to me because she thought three weeks was kind of a limit that she'd "need" to talk to me.

 

I did reach out to her. She was glad I did. I asked her if it was weird talking to her. She said she felt a bit guilty, but not weird. It really was nice speaking with her. I think we're at a point between us that we can just have a semi-normal conversation.

 

PS. what happeend to my thread? :)

I'm happy that you finally worked through your own feelings enough to get to this point. She didn't deserve the coldness but you needed some time and that is what brought you to this point. You needed to be sure (for yourself) that talking to her wasn't going to bring you to a point where you would want her back even though she has someone new. She understood and now you both can develop your bond into a friendship. You are lucky to have this kind of resolution and I'm glad you are finally going to be feeling better.
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Posted
I'm happy that you finally worked through your own feelings enough to get to this point. She didn't deserve the coldness but you needed some time and that is what brought you to this point. You needed to be sure (for yourself) that talking to her wasn't going to bring you to a point where you would want her back even though she has someone new. She understood and now you both can develop your bond into a friendship. You are lucky to have this kind of resolution and I'm glad you are finally going to be feeling better.

 

Thanks Charlotte. I think I feel pretty good about it. I don't have any ill will towards her. I don't hate her. I did act mad at her for a few minutes while talking with her, but she was able to calm me down and talk things through.

 

Not that we have completely moved on from each other, but I think we're both at a safe part of the post break up to at least talk about the past, talk about what's new in our lives, and she's repeatedly told me she forgives me, even though I always apologize and tell her I owe her a lifetime of apologies for what happened.

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