ButtHead Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 I found that the one thing that really helped me was a new pair of sunglasses! I may have found a new love. I've never had them before so when I saw them all shiny, I forgot all of my pain and I was thinking how cool I'd look in them. Of course, the pain comes back, but the sunglasses were a turning point. I might invest in expensive clothing now and concentrate on what I was doing before the relationship - looking really bad@$$. I think that's the part of me that really changed. I stopped buying new clothes and stopped trying to impress. I'm starting to turn back into the old me, but improved. Just be careful of how much you spend. I'm really close to buying a new car. That's going to really up my confidence. I know, what a shallow guy. By the way, this applies to anything that makes you feel better about yourself, but mostly things that make you look better (not that you don't already look good) or boost confidence in finding someone else (not that you're looking for someone else). I'm not looking for anyone, but I was ready before the relationship and I'd like to be ready again just in case. Any other suggestions? I've heard of sports and exercise and hobbies and stuff like that, but this was something that worked pretty well as a supplement. I would say the top ones are just going out, getting some sun (proven to make you happy), and making progress in life.
kizik Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 I found that the one thing that really helped me was a new pair of sunglasses! I may have found a new love. I've never had them before so when I saw them all shiny, I forgot all of my pain and I was thinking how cool I'd look in them. Of course, the pain comes back, but the sunglasses were a turning point. You've got me laughing. And that's funny, because I'm pretty sure you're serious.
Nevermind Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Haha, I bought sunglasses, too. He always hated mine (and my style in general). When he last came to visit me, he even wanted to buy me some for my birthday and shortly before paying he said "they look so ****ty and cheap" (which they were, but it would have been a present ... anyway) I never took those and the rest is history. He has 2 very expensive ones, on which he prides himself extensively and now I have one pair of Roberto Cavalli that is my style an waaaay more expensive than his, maybe even more than both of his combined. Okay, I got lucky on e-bay and paid about 40 dollars for it, but that doesn't matter. It's real, it's shiny, it's better than his. Being a child can be fun.
tealeafbud Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 great thread Butthead (hey that rhymes!) I got some new sunglasses also. I also bought some nice shirts and some tighter pants. I also needed some running shoes for jogging and am now eating better than I've ever have in my life!
v33 Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 New wardrobe helped me a lot with regaining my confidence. I got lazy in my relationship and dressed in whatever and put on a few pounds. I am back to a good weight, looking fit, and dressing well again. Last time my ex saw me she commented on my shirt and how I have really lost weight. (13lbs, a lot on a guy with my build). I get comments at work too and from friends. You don't have to spend a lot to look fabulous.... just shop smart. I wish I could afford a new car, but I think that's an extreme measure.... try getting a new look first and getting in shape. EVERYTHING looks better on you when you're fit. I don't know anyone in a relationship that doesn't let their appearance go after a while. Heck, even my ex dresses better than she ever did with me and is sporting a new hairstyle these days. Haha, it's funny, but we would look great together now!
pickingupthepieces Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 I let myself go SO bad when I was in the relationship.... it was awful. Since the breakup I have easily lost 25 pds...still have a ways to go! I bought a couple of new outfits ... and a new car freshener! (we used to have matching ones for our vehicles). I also bought a new necklace that is totally ME. I even did something as small as changing the ringer on my cell phone and feel so much better about it. My X even said it so "me". My place is always SUPER clean now.... it was so hard to keep our place that way before..now its all MINE. I even got a new kitty to keep me company when I'm feeling down and low. My appearance has defenitly improved when I want it to but I will admit I still hang out in my sweats a little to much!
motive2002 Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 I bought some fresh new beer. I'm drinking it right now! Cheers!
kizik Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Yeah motive, I'm drinking wine and saying f*ck it, I can get drunk on wine if I want to. Does that mean she "won"? No, it just means I'm drunk on wine.
motive2002 Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 MacTarnahan's is my drug of choice. Oregon crafted beer is the best in the world!
Leia Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Retail therapy always helps. Shoes, furnitures. Just sitting in cafe, minding your own business.
kizik Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 MacTarnahan's is my drug of choice. Oregon crafted beer is the best in the world! I'm going to attribute that as a compliment to ME, being an ORE native. You're from Oregon too right bro? I f*cking love Mac's.
motive2002 Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Yeah, from Oregon as well. I've been to other places in the US and Europe. We still got the best beer hands down.
Author ButtHead Posted May 31, 2008 Author Posted May 31, 2008 You've got me laughing. And that's funny' date=' because I'm pretty sure you're serious.[/quote'] Believe me, I'm serious. I think this is what everyone meant when they told me to concentrate on me. I think I'm coming out really presentable - and better than her. It's real, it's shiny, it's better than his. Being a child can be fun It can be fun. It really helps in self-love and the fact that you're better than him/her. Staying fit is next on my list. Beer is on that list too as celebration although I'm trying to avoid too much as I think it might get depressing. Keep em coming guys and gals! I'm aiming to get back to where I would have been without her - kick@$$-look-wise.
sedgwick Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Any other suggestions? I've heard of sports and exercise and hobbies and stuff like that, but this was something that worked pretty well as a supplement. I would say the top ones are just going out, getting some sun (proven to make you happy), and making progress in life. Okay, for some reason, that second sentence cracked me up. You're right on about the sun. My mood has improved so much since the sun came out a few weeks ago! There's a park a few blocks away and I've really been enjoying just going for walks there. When my ex first dumped me, my response was to run away to Mexico alone for two months. If I was gonna cry all damn day, I was at least gonna do it on the beach!!!
BiAxident Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Yeah, from Oregon as well. I've been to other places in the US and Europe. We still got the best beer hands down. Let me know if you ever make it to Michigan, TeaLeafBud and I will take care of your beer drinking needs, because fella.. we got Oregon beat!
earthling Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 This has got to be one of the best coping ideas I've read so far since I've joined two months ago. The break up was so devastating to me that all of my natural instincts came rushing out all at once. Went on Monster.com, interviewed and found great job offers. Went to boss and threatened to quit. He gave me a raise instead and offered to buy me a new car. The car is the important deal. I really want something that'll boost my ego completely out of the grave. Went shopping like hell. Bought clothing and shoes and a new pair of sunglasses, although mine are crappy ones. Will go shopping again for new ones. Boss sent me to some training to upgrade my skillz. Got a ticket to Chicago for next week to go do some more job training. Thinking of getting a new Nikon Digital SLR to do some photography to compliment my paintings. Yesterday, even went to a freakin Gettysburg: Civil War Re-enactment and bought a condederate outfit with boots to match! and I'm freakin asian! Who says money doesn't bring happiness? But I'm sure as soon as this post is sent. I'll be back to crying and praying again... and I'm agnostic.
borelandkaren Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 I'm gonna go git me some Botox! My older, (gay) brother keeps telling me I've got a great "rack" (strange indeed!) so I'll get the crows feet fixed up to match I think. WTFNot?
wowIlose Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 Who says money doesn't bring happiness? It doesn't, but its a good down payment.
justaman99 Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 I might invest in expensive clothing now and concentrate on what I was doing before the relationship - looking really bad@$$. I think that's the part of me that really changed. I stopped buying new clothes and stopped trying to impress. I'm starting to turn back into the old me, but improved. This is exactly what happened to me. I let myself go and stopped doing some of the things I needed to do for myself. I have been needing to redo my wardrobe for, well, probably forever. I got rid of everything and anything I didn't wear for the past year then went out and dropped a considerable amount of cash on new shirts, pants, jeans, shoes, belts, watches, socks you name it. It wasn't a spending spree to forget, it was a spending spree to get some nice things for myself that I never had before. Oddly enough, my ex is the one that showed me I really needed to do this and it has helped me in my confidence tremendously. Don't just buy clothes, find clothes you fall in love with and don't be afraid to spend a little extra. Dump target and kohl's, hit Banana Republic, Nordstroms, or Macy's and take your time piecing it together. You don't have to get everything in one day, space it out. It gives you something to do and is a lot of fun. I have always hated buying clothes but now it's something I enjoy. -Just
Author ButtHead Posted June 3, 2008 Author Posted June 3, 2008 A boost in ego is exactly what I'm looking for. I'm surprised I'm not alone on this one. Congratulations on the raise and car, earthling! I can't believe it, what do you do? I might change my major if you give a good enough answer. Nothing wrong being asian and wearing a Confederate outfit. Did I just say that? It must've been fun. Once I upgrade my car, I'll be pimpin. You're right, Just. It can't be clothes that you think will be alright. They have to be OMG I'll be the coolest! Of course the next step is to start macking. Regardless of whether or not I'm ready. My ego tells me I am. I still want my gf back, but the best chance is to get over her first. So that's exactly what I plan to do. It's been awhile since I cried, but I still pray to God to help me get her back or get over her. (I grew up in a religious school, but I'm also atheist. When I'm at my worse, I run to my roots)
justaman99 Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 Of course the next step is to start macking. Regardless of whether or not I'm ready. My ego tells me I am. I still want my gf back, but the best chance is to get over her first. So that's exactly what I plan to do. It's been awhile since I cried, but I still pray to God to help me get her back or get over her. True these things don't help you get over your ex but what it will do for you is a couple things. 1. It will boost your confidence because you feel better about yourself. 2. It will attract more women because you present yourself well. Women like a guy that dresses well and takes his appearance seriously but not to vain of course. Just shows you have a respect for yourself and care about how you look. 3. Put you in a little bit of debt 4. It's a change and change is good Don't pray to god you get her back or you get over her. Pray for yourself that you can do things that will improve you, mentally, physically and emotionally and all good things will come. Think positive, be positive and that will attract only positive things.
Lookingforward Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 Whoever said "money can't buy happiness" didn't know how to shop
Trialbyfire Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 This thread is hilarious! Men, you've just discovered what women have enjoyed for eons. Shopping therapy!
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