JackhammerGemma Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 Question: My boyfriend would not stop seeing this married woman so I called her husband and told him they were still seeing each other. Boyfriend broke up with me once he found out I did that; says he doesn't understand why I called and that I didn't have to ruin her marriage like that. Does he honestly think I should or do give a rat's a@@ what happens to her and her marriage? All I wanted was for them to stop what they were doing. If I were acting on general morals, I'd be whistle blowing on cheaters everywhere. I was at the end of my rope with those particular two. All my friends say they would have done the same thing. (I'm aware the best thing would have been to walk away in the first place, thanks.) That being said..was I wrong for exposing their affair? Shouldn't my bf and the skank he screwed take responsibility for what they did and realize they ruined her marriage? The H said he had no idea what was going on, but in my opinion he might have found out some other way anyhow. People get careless sometimes. I admit my bf and the skank were pretty smart not getting caught but I was smarter because I caught them. (Underhandedly and in a somewhat psycho manner, I admit, but I did what I had to do.) Is it typical for people like them to deflect blame like that? I don't get it. If I was cheating on my H and someone blew my cover I'd be pissed, sure, but I wouldn't blame them for ruining my marriage, that's just retarded to me. Anyone?
Author JackhammerGemma Posted May 30, 2008 Author Posted May 30, 2008 I agree, she got what she had coming to her. As for my bf, even though he dumped me he doesn't have me and in my opinion that's what he had coming to him- no more me.
White Flower Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 If it were me, I would want to be told. I hear some people just don't want to know.
Author JackhammerGemma Posted May 30, 2008 Author Posted May 30, 2008 I hear some people just don't want to know. ..I'm kind of two sided about that. Looking back my R with my bf would have been happier if I didn't know what he was doing at all, I would have been none the wiser. On the other hand, screw that, I want to know who I'm dealing with! Just so frustrating to be labeled a victim and perp at the same time.
Tripper Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 JHG, personally I don't think your actions were either right nor wrong. You did what you felt compelled to do based on your moral compass. You didn't ruin the marriage. The W did. She betrayed her H; your bf betrayed you. And you are better off to be rid of him. Bottom line is the W cheated in complicity with your xbf, they got caught and they don't like it. Too bad!! You play with fire you get burned.
White Flower Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 ..I'm kind of two sided about that. Looking back my R with my bf would have been happier if I didn't know what he was doing at all, I would have been none the wiser. On the other hand, screw that, I want to know who I'm dealing with! Just so frustrating to be labeled a victim and perp at the same time. Kinda know what you mean;)
shakenandstirred Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 JHG, personally I don't think your actions were either right nor wrong. You did what you felt compelled to do based on your moral compass. You didn't ruin the marriage. The W did. She betrayed her H; your bf betrayed you. And you are better off to be rid of him. Bottom line is the W cheated in complicity with your xbf, they got caught and they don't like it. Too bad!! You play with fire you get burned. I agree with tripper on this. It is no ones fault but the cheater when they get exposed.They have to suffer the consequences for doing the wrong that was done. You did what you thought was right. Sure they are angry,but you were hurt too. You didn't ruin anyone's marriage, your ex bf and the married women did that themselves.
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 You did the right thing. Now that he's gone , he stay's gone. Your ex was quite the scumbag. be glad your not with him anymore!
Darth Vader Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 You didn't ruin the marriage. The W did. She betrayed her H; your bf betrayed you. And you are better off to be rid of him. Your boyfriend also ruined her marriage too. But, you did do the right thing in telling her husband. Why should hubby have to walk in on them screwing in her bed, or finding out about this years later? They did it to themselves, don't let him make you think that you did him and another man's wife a disservice, they did that to her husband.
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