ARDriver01 Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 Is it normal to feel utter self discgust after breaking up with someone? I know I did what's right for the both of us, I just can't seem to shake these feelings of shame. She wasn't a bad girl, we just didn't get along very well and it would have gotten much worse. I don't like that I hurt her feelings.
Karyyk Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 I don't know if it's "normal" (nothing is normal man), but I've gone through it. When I told my now ex that I just couldn't go on any longer, she broke down on the phone and told me that she couldn't believe I could do this. Realistically, it was the only thing we could have done. We had been trying for six years to maintain a long-distance relationship of sorts, but she wasn't willing to commit to me and it ate me alive. Still, when that happened, I hated myself, no way around it. It was still the right thing to do. Hurting people like that isn't something anyone wants to do (hopefully), moreso when you care about them, but sometimes it's necessary, especially when the problems are all too obvious.
Art_Critic Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 Don't blame yourself AR... You should be glad.. from what you posted you dodged a bullet with her moving out. You need to also think about the fact that you have moved on from the ExW.. that is something she helped you do. It wasn't long ago you were tormented from what your Ex did to you and now you have moved on.. This isn't all bad and you have nothing to be ashamed about.. of course it still hurts.. I'm sorry about that.. it will get better...
sedgwick Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 I feel utter self-loathing having been dumped. He made me cry more than anyone ever has. He left me lying on the bed sobbing, and that was the last time I ever saw him. When I tried to speak to him after that, he was cold as ice. I honestly cannot figure out what I did. I loved him with all my heart and treated him like the most special and important man in the universe. I told him once he was the love of my life. I just adore him. I would like to think that maybe he felt even the tiniest shred of guilt or self-recrimination, but my belief is that he waltzed off happy as a clam and hates me for this thing I did I simply cannot figure out. I think that because I am not a musician, he never gave me a second thought. So yes, it is possible to flit off without a speck of guilt. I watched someone do it.
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