Engelskreiger Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 I was with this girl for only six months, but I had admired her for quite some time before that. My feelings for her were off the charts by the time we started dating. I was clingy and needy and overbearing. Eventually, we broke up. About two months after breaking up, we started talking again. We started being very intimate, but she made it clear that we weren't in a relationship. Stupidly I ignored this. She seemed happy with me, so I was happy. This lasted about two months and a week or so ago, she decided that we should stop being intimate. That was the first blow my heart took. We kept seeing each other, but no intimacy. That lasted about a week, and here we are. We finally broke it off, completely, last night. In doing so, she told me things that hurt more than anything I had ever heard. I thought the world of her. I thought she was the most beautiful girl I had even met. She told me that she didn't even find me physically attractive. She told me that I am the opposite of the person she would like to be with. She broke my heart and continued to destroy my self esteem. I, for lack of a better term, worshiped this girl. She was everything I could have hope for in a girl (with the exception of a severe lack of affection), but she had claimed that she just wasn't an affectionate person. I believed her and tried to work through it. She had been telling me that she didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone. That she wasn't ready. She revealed that she had been suppressing a strong desire to be with someone to stay friends with me. We're not going to be talking or seeing each other anymore. I guess I wish I had done things different from the start. She told me that she can be very clingy, but when we started dating, I just took the role of the clingy person. How I wish it had been her. I am heart broken, but I also have this great sense of failure and regret. I wanted so bad to have another chance to do it right.
roghornio Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 I feel for ya man! The things she said to you sound pretty horrible... You really don't want to be with someone who can treat you like this. From reading this and being impartial – you need to remove her from the pedestal you have her on … it will take time however… Keep your dignity in tact and just walk away from this one. You don’t deserve anymore hurt. Don't beat yourself up... in time you will find someone else! there is light at the end of the tunnel.... a[FONT="]nd this community is very supportive.[/FONT]
Author Engelskreiger Posted May 30, 2008 Author Posted May 30, 2008 Thanks for replying. I really need to talk to people about this right now. It seems to help. Yeah. It's gonna take some time. I don't know how I am going to do it. Before we started seeing each other again, I seemed to have managed to do it, but when she came back in my life, it all came back faster than I could have imagined. So far, I've only wept a little. Not nearly as bad as last time. However, my thoughts dwell on it. Which is probably just as bad, except no tears. My heart isn't in as much pain as it was last time. Hopefully this will be easier. And I hope I can find a new girl someday that will measure up, and maybe be affectionate also.
roghornio Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 Thanks for replying. I really need to talk to people about this right now. It seems to help. Yeah. It's gonna take some time. I don't know how I am going to do it. Before we started seeing each other again, I seemed to have managed to do it, but when she came back in my life, it all came back faster than I could have imagined. So far, I've only wept a little. Not nearly as bad as last time. However, my thoughts dwell on it. Which is probably just as bad, except no tears. My heart isn't in as much pain as it was last time. Hopefully this will be easier. And I hope I can find a new girl someday that will measure up, and maybe be affectionate also. It's going to be tough - i won't lie to you. It takes time - how long .. i can't answer that... but it does get better. Spill your thoughts on here. I'm not sure how old you are... but i can guarantee this won't be the last time you meet somone special
Author Engelskreiger Posted May 30, 2008 Author Posted May 30, 2008 I'm 23. I've been through this countless times. Each one is always worse than the last. Actually, this is shaping up to be better, however, you can technically call this a continuation of the main relationship, which was the worst breakup to date. I'm sure I'll meet someone new, but I genuinely fear that they won't make me happy like she did. Before, I was fairly easy to please. Now, it doesn't feel that way. During the two months she and I weren't talking at all, I had met other girls, and I recognized that some of them were attractive, and good people, girls I would have been attracted to before. I didn't find them interesting or attractive. I didn't have any feelings toward any of them, even though we went on dates and such. I clicked with some of them, but when it came down to it, I just couldn't seem to make that connection. I even started seeing a girl that I had dated for a year and a half. It was the girl I dated prior to this one. When she and I broke up, it was "the end of the world". When we started seeing each other again... nothing. I just didn't feel anything. However, the first day I saw this girl again, we hit it off (sort of, as I have found). feelings didn't flood back, but I was able to redevelop them quickly. *sigh* I just hope someone as fun and interesting comes along again, sooner than later. I don't want to start another relationship right now, but I don't want to wait a year.
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