foxh1234 Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 Hi everyone. I have been doing so well getting through this and NC has helped me a ton. For some strange reason the last 2 days have been really tough. Nothing really triggered this set back, I just find myself thinking about her more and sliding back into feeling sorry for myself. I do not want to keep feeling this way. It has been almost 5 weeks NC and I never expected to fall back like I felt 4 weeks ago. What gives ? Does this happen to all of us ? Am I doing something wrong ? Any and all advice appreciated.
roghornio Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 It comes and goes... each time it comes it wont be as long as last time. Keep going!
Loukos_od Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 Also known as rollercoaster.Been away from her 5 months now.NC for 3 months ..Sunday was cryin like a baby.My chest hearts every now + then.And that's the way it goes.They would all tell me that i would come stronger and improved out of this.I could't get it.Now i start to get it.U r doin' nth wrong m8.It is just that u want sooo badly to feel better that at the smallest sign of the sadness goin away u feel like it is over.But it is not.It will get better and better slowly.There is a greek song sayin "what is worth a lot hurts a lot" I will never forget her smile
0hpenelope Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 Nah, you're not doing anything wrong. I think (and I'm not thinking about this particular subject as hard as I could be because I don't want to and I don't care as much as I did) that I'm just a few weeks ahead of your NC count and I feel the same way from time to time. I had a bad day yesterday and I 'relapsed' into wanting to contact him. I don't like the feeling too, so I just coach myself through it. "You're going to contact him. What's that going to do for you? He's going to see that you can't trust your own word and you're going to give him leverage over you again. Do you honestly want to go back to that dark place?" No way! I don't want to go back to that dark place. I can handle yearning for Lawrence, but I will never... ever go back to that dark place. So... you got a dark place with your ex? It doesn't do well to dwell on the negatives I agree, but whenever you're feeling that itch to contact the ex: 1) What good is that going to do for you? 2) What's the general pattern been in the past after you talk to the ex? Do you sulk for a few days, cry for a few hours, you're happy then sad, etc.? 3) If you end up in that dark place after contacting your ex, how "comfortable" is it? "Comfortable" enough to catch up with again? 4) Short-term fix or long-term? Can you really be friends with the ex now? Recovery is difficult. loukos_od got it right on the money, but I have different wording for it: nothing worth having is easy. Take care of yourself.
Author foxh1234 Posted May 30, 2008 Author Posted May 30, 2008 Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the advice.
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