Surfer Girl Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 I am beginning to understand when some one has grown up in a abusive childhood... Normal is having someone abuse them.... If he can't fix and help this manipulative ex... It is like it is a personal failure to him.... Normal for him is someone that is jealous, mean, abusive and possesive .... How is it that she has this hold on him, when she has stolen from him, cheated on him, lied to him, a jail bird, alcoholic.... And yet he is a very successful attorney. And here I am loving him for who he is... A healthy relationship. Is it the drama? is it the upbringing?... I am at a loss that he would go back to her when he is so intelligent and yet so lost when it comes to relationships...He is 54 years old having an on again off again relationship with her for 7 yrs... Is there any hope for him leaving her for good????
underpants Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 I would say not. Did you know they were on an off for 7 years when you chose to become involved? That is a flag, regardless of the dynamics of their R. I don't know why some prefer toxic r's as opposed to healing r's. However, there may be an oscillation for some who are patterned to go between one type and the other. If that is the case then you would just set yourself up to be part of the continuious cycle. At 54 I'm not so sure there is a lot of hope for breaking patterns, intropection for change and learning to change patterns. He made a bad choice.
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