confused2007 Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 2 things......... 1. I came to the conclusion that all of my past serious relationships have failed because they reached the "comfort level." When a relationship becomes routine and boring, it's our nature to seek excitement elsewhere. I understand matured emotions will seek excitment outside of cheating, but I think I speak for the younger crowd. So, if I end up in a relationship again in the future, I will always continue to SHAKE things up to keep the emotions alive. 2. Women are attracted to imperfection (E.g. bad boy) because it's their nature to CARE for and FIX broken emotions. go ahead bash away.......
J2FT1 Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 Dang, this makes a lot of sense. I'm a very lazy guy, will that help me out with the ladies?
carhill Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 I've invented patentable products whilst sitting on the toilet. It's where I do my best work 1. Interestingly, I like the comfort level. I like being counted on and trusted and feeling the same energy from my partner. That deep emotional connection is very fulfilling and exciting in its own right. I've never been an excitement/drama junkie. Such is the byproduct of a sensitive nervous system. All that stimulation overwhelms me. 2. Some women love drama and obviously imperfect men. They raise their own self-esteem by "rescuing" or "fixing" a man and thusly can feel responsible for and proud of his successes. "If it weren't for me, he'd be xxxxx". IME, these women tend to have low self esteem, though that psychology isn't necessarily pervasive. I would say, IME, that such women occupy the minority of women whom I've met in my life. As always, YMMV Be sure to wipe
serial muse Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 2 things......... 1. I came to the conclusion that all of my past serious relationships have failed because they reached the "comfort level." When a relationship becomes routine and boring, it's our nature to seek excitement elsewhere. I understand matured emotions will seek excitment outside of cheating, but I think I speak for the younger crowd. So, if I end up in a relationship again in the future, I will always continue to SHAKE things up to keep the emotions alive. 2. Women are attracted to imperfection (E.g. bad boy) because it's their nature to CARE for and FIX broken emotions. go ahead bash away....... Hmm...1. plus 2. equals 3. some people just love drama, regardless of gender. At least you know yourself! Actually, I think I'm just restating what carhill said. Is it me or has there been a recent rash of "I just had an epiphany on the toilet" posts??
refurb Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 Two points: 1) Quit generalizing all women. Some women look to their relationship to provide excitement, while others look to their relationship for comfort, something familiar. Both can work in long-term relationships, but obviously require very different mates. 2) Stop trying to change who you are, or else you'll end up with something you don't want. RF
Saxis Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 Hmmm... my #1 and #2 on the toilet weren't nearly as thought provoking. But yeah, keep being yourself. You'll notice that the women who take off in search of excitement will probably come crawling back 6 months later hoping for stability again. A person can only handle a certain amount of drama before it wears too thin...
blind_otter Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 Only the crazies are attracted to imperfection. JMO, take it with a grain of salt.
Nemo Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 2. Women are attracted to imperfection (E.g. bad boy) because it's their nature to CARE for and FIX broken emotions. This is so, so true. It should be posted in the LS annals of absolute truth to read on a daily basis. It's pretty easy to believe, though. The last thing you want to have to deal with is an anally-retentive perfectionist clogging up your pipes.
Mahatma Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Two points: 1) Quit generalizing all women. Some women look to their relationship to provide excitement, while others look to their relationship for comfort, something familiar. Both can work in long-term relationships, but obviously require very different mates. 2) Stop trying to change who you are, or else you'll end up with something you don't want. RF This is your first post and yet its one of the best I've seen in a while. I think people need to stop trying to make themselves fit for other people. Move at your pace and do what you want to do with every girl until you finally meet a girl who also moves at that pace and does the same stuff you like and THATS what you have been looking for all your life. If you change the way you treat girls just so you can get what you believe to be more than normal, you will just be getting girls through a process you arent as comfortable with and it will be much less enjoyable.
White Flower Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 I've invented patentable products whilst sitting on the toilet. It's where I do my best work 1. Interestingly, I like the comfort level. I like being counted on and trusted and feeling the same energy from my partner. That deep emotional connection is very fulfilling and exciting in its own right. I've never been an excitement/drama junkie. Such is the byproduct of a sensitive nervous system. All that stimulation overwhelms me. 2. Some women love drama and obviously imperfect men. They raise their own self-esteem by "rescuing" or "fixing" a man and thusly can feel responsible for and proud of his successes. "If it weren't for me, he'd be xxxxx". IME, these women tend to have low self esteem, though that psychology isn't necessarily pervasive. I would say, IME, that such women occupy the minority of women whom I've met in my life. As always, YMMV Be sure to wipe Well, while it is true that women tend to fix men, it doesn't mean they are neccessarily of low self-esteem. Dr. John Gray (Men are from Mars...) says that women often marry a man for his potential rather than for accepting him the way he is. It goes back to the survival mechanism. Improvement=power=stability, and every woman needs stability. I made the mistake of marrying my H for his potential. God, he had so much of it, too. But, he never really got there. I'll know better next time to pick someone who I can accept as he is from the very beginning.
torranceshipman Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Sounds like you're young and not ready for a big commitment yet, which is cool, but like a previous poster said...quit making generalisations! Not all girls want the bad boy. I agree that only the crazies (or girls who don't really want a proper commitment)really go for the nightmare bad boys...I certainly don't, but I'm a bit older now, have spent years having fun and now feel more ready to settle...I could only get serious with a dynamic, alpha male type though, else I'd get bored-but that's very different from a bad boy (my current boyfriend is very dynamic and alpha, very clever and keeps me stimulated, but is also respectful and sweet and wants commitment, which is very cool). I agree that you should shake things up and keep things exciting in a relationship at any age...complacency is no fun! I think you can get real security AND excitement if you truly find the right person. Very hard to find that mix in one person though.
torranceshipman Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 ...and I'm not interested in fixing anyone either-that kind of man is a liabiity! Don't think that all women want someone to 'fix', because they don't!
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