I probably should have known he wasnt looking for anything serious, right??

[confuzed25]

I broke up with my ex 3 days ago because i just wasnt getting what i wanted out of a relationship, and im almost positive he was pursuing another girl. We were only together for 2 and a half months. Basically 2 weeks ago he suddenly became distant with me, and started hanging out a lot with another girl. Well we got into a big fight about it 3 days ago and I walked out without saying goodbye. We havent spoken since. Now the more I think back, the more things I see that I *think* were signs that he wasnt looking for anything serious.

 

1. First off he is only 23 and goes out drinking alot...seems like he is still in play mode.

2. He just got out of a year and a half long relationship 2 months before I met him so he might have just been lonely or looking for a rebound.

3. He has had a 3 year relationship and a 1 and a half year relationship but he has told me that he has never met a girl he felt like he ever wanted to marry or settle down with

4. He has told me that he doesnt even know if he ever wants to get married or have kids

5. I met him through a dating site and his profile said that hes "looking for a fun time and to try new things." Also, when it asked what kind of person he was looking for he said "I am too young and have not dated enough to know what i want."

6. He used to tell me about a couple girls that he felt fell in love with him way too quickly...he said they told him they loved him after like 4-6 months and he broke up with them because it freaked him out

 

I was starting to blame myself for him losing interest and feeling like he wanted someone else...i thought maybe i wasnt good enough, pretty enough, or fun enough. He was really crazy about me in the beginning and treated me so great...i felt like i did something to ruin it. Now Im starting to wonder, because of all the things i mentioned above, if i was just a rebound or maybe he used me because he was lonely. Or maybe he thought he wanted a relationship but then realized he didnt. What do you think??

[Kellicakes]

I was starting to blame myself for him losing interest and feeling like he wanted someone else...i thought maybe i wasnt good enough, pretty enough, or fun enough. He was really crazy about me in the beginning and treated me so great...i felt like i did something to ruin it. Now Im starting to wonder, because of all the things i mentioned above, if i was just a rebound or maybe he used me because he was lonely. Or maybe he thought he wanted a relationship but then realized he didnt. What do you think??

 

I think these are all very normal thoughts and reasonings. It actually sounds almost identical to what I'm going through now, so I can relate. It's only natural to question yourself when someone pulls away because at least that way you can find some sort of answer, and if it's something that YOU did maybe you could fix it rght? Well that's what we tell ourselves. But usually, it has more to do with the other person and what they have going on than it does with us, or our perceived "lackings".

 

Honestly, from all of the things that you described about him and the things that he told you...sounds to me like he is still in that stage where he just wants something casual. It's so frustrating, I know believe me. My ex led me to believe for months that our relationship was going somewhere, only to have hm pull the distant disappearing act before breaking up with me sayng he "just couldn't juggle a GF right now".

 

Until you talk to him again, and IF, you are going to be driving yourself nuts thinking of the what if's....but I think you did the right thing by breaking it off if he wasn't giving you his all. Especially if he was hanging out with another girl....that's just disrepectful and rude! You deserve better. Sorry you're hurting.