wareagle Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 Ok a little background on me and what has happened in the last three months for anyone who isn't familiar with my story. Ex broke up with me almost three months ago saying we were incompatible we argue to much yada yada yada, so I go strict nc, she texts me a few times about some minor thngs like have I sold my truck, don't forget about making a doc appointment for my eyes yada yada yada, and they all went unanswered frome me. She text me a few times to try and deliberately hurt me or so I felt, and again no reply from me! So fast forward to today. I haven't heard anything from her in about a month now, then today she sends me a text that say's (HEY EVERYONE! i'M MARRYING THE LOVE OF MY LIFE) WTF!!!! WHY would she do such a thing she dumped me I haven't done anything to this woman! If you are curious about the whole story I think I have posted it here somewhere!
sultry33 Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 probably just saying it for a reaction from you.. cant believe anyone would marry someone after a month.. espically if break up was 3months prior to this.. if she is then she is a biatch for sending it to you .
Author wareagle Posted May 29, 2008 Author Posted May 29, 2008 Oh so I have a question? Should I respond with a congratulations I'm happy for you or leave it be and not respond? I think I know that I'm not going to respond, but I would like everyones opionion anyway! Thanks
Author wareagle Posted May 29, 2008 Author Posted May 29, 2008 Thanks sultry! It just validates what kind of person she is and how she needs a man in her life to validate herself! She was asking me to marry her before her divorce was even final, so this is a pattern for her! I think I am finally realizing how lucky I was that she ended things! haha!!!
CaliGuy Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 Considering yourself lucky that she is now someone else's problem and not yours
CaliGuy Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 Oh so I have a question? Should I respond with a congratulations I'm happy for you or leave it be and not respond? I think I know that I'm not going to respond, but I would like everyones opionion anyway! Thanks Nope. Continue not saying a WORD to her. Silence speaks volumes. Let all the scenarios in the world run through her head. By you being quiet it is probably driving her nuts. In fact, I'm quite sure it is
AGENT 99 Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 War....say, "Congratulations, hope you're happy".....it'll eat her alive..lol
CaliGuy Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 War....say, "Congratulations, hope you're happy".....it'll eat her alive..lol NO!!!!!!!!! SAY NOTHING TO HER!!!!!! NOT A WORD!!!!
heartoutside Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 Yeah, similar situation....kind of for me. A girl, stuck in a destructive pattern. Be thankful you did get out when you did. At first I wasn't, but now!!! THANK GOD! Don't reply with anything, or text back "congratulations" and nothing else if you really want to get under her skin. But, I think the best reaction would be no action at all. You don't want to be tied up with a woman like that....she's in her own insane world and there is no sense in keeping yourself chained to her.
Author wareagle Posted May 29, 2008 Author Posted May 29, 2008 Caliguy I read all of your posts and I must say you are by far my favorite on this board. I will heed your advice and not contact her! I don't owe her anything, she walked out on me! I haven't totally conceded yet to how lucky I am to no longer be with her! I am getting there though! I am in a much better place in my life now than I was a month ago. I know my heart will heal in due time, and I will find someone who loves me and respects me and won't put me through the **** I have been through this past year and half! So should I expect more texts from her in the future?
Lookingforward Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 I doubt it ware - that text "hey everyone" sounds more like she still has your # in her address book and did a send all and no, don't respond
CaliGuy Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 Caliguy I read all of your posts and I must say you are by far my favorite on this board. I will heed your advice and not contact her! I don't owe her anything, she walked out on me! Exactly. And if she can walk out on you then by gosh, she certainly doesn't deserve any of your attention. And believe me, an email sent whether to beg for a second chance or out of anger is simply going to boost her self-esteem and destroy yours. I haven't totally conceded yet to how lucky I am to no longer be with her! I am getting there though! I am in a much better place in my life now than I was a month ago. I know my heart will heal in due time, and I will find someone who loves me and respects me and won't put me through the **** I have been through this past year and half! So should I expect more texts from her in the future? Honestly, if you continue with NC one of several things will happen: a) She will never contact you again (pray for this) b) She will occasionally toss some bait out there hoping you will take it. This is done purely to boost her own sense of self-worth. c) She will beg for another chance. A is a good thing. B means continue to ignore. If C happens then might I remind you of your words above. Screw me once, shame on you. Screw me twice, shame on ME! You already know she is bad mojo for you. Communicating with her in any fashion will serve no purpose other than to bring you down. Move forward with your life, not backward. She is the past and any time spent thinking about her or regretting anything is like driving a car staring at the rear view mirror. The results are never good.
sid33 Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 That's good advice. I think your doing great War, not responding is building your selfworth and self esteem back up. I'm sure it is eating the ex alive that she hasn't gotten a reaction from you. Don't give her the satisfaction of knowing anything about you. Let her find another way to stroke her own ego. You'll meet someone and realize, thank god that physco dumped me!
LikeCharlotte Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 they all went unanswered from me. She text me a few times to try and deliberately hurt me or so I felt, and again no reply from me! No reason to answer her now then, but it seems she isn't gettin the "hint". A more direct approach might be in order. WHY would she do such a thing she dumped me I haven't done anything to this woman! There are a few reasons that are possible: she really just sent out a mass text to everyone she knows and is just excitedshe want you to know because it makes her feel validated to think it might bother youshe is too stupid to know that it might hurt you - and honestly thinks you will be happy that shes decided to marry someone shes been with only a short time Did you ever tell her you planned to never speak again? Now might be the time to let her know. You can continue ignoring her but it is possible that she will continue to contact you. This is just a suggestion, but "Good Luck in your life. I really am not interested in contact with you at all. Please respect that" Sometimes it's just easier to make yourself clear.
SeraBella Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 I doubt it ware - that text "hey everyone" sounds more like she still has your # in her address book and did a send all and no, don't respond She seems like the type that does things to get under his skin. My guess is she sent that to "everyone" to make it seem like she was just doing a send all to everyone on her phone. She knew it was going to him. She's trying to elicit a response and make sure he's still thinking about her. OP, don't respond...it will only open the lines of communication and she will then text you more. If she's evil she'll start saying how great he is and blah blah blah just to piss you off. Ignore her.
tinke Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 she certainly proves to lack in sensitivity. i would think any decent person would take precautions not to hurt an ex by announcing such rubbish...insignificant to you, at best. what is there to possibly gain from her alerting you to this? may be wrong, but i feel it may have been intentional to cause more pain, that she has moved on. why, if you were not contacting her, again shows her poor judgement. i do not see the benefit in aknowledging her news, i would advise to not respond. you have not had contact, why now? she does not need your blessings to move on. let her know it is insignificant to you by no reply. this kind of nonsense gives women a bad name!
Author wareagle Posted May 30, 2008 Author Posted May 30, 2008 SaraBella I agree with you on sending the everyone line! She definately knew it was going to me! We have several mutual friends through work and I am going to see tomorrow if they got her text, that is if she sent a mass text to all her contacts. When she dumped me she asked if i wanted her to take me out of her contacts and I said yes! So I'm thinking she sent that to me and only me! She is evil and I think she suffers from borderline personality disorder cause she has many of the traits associated with the disease. Caliguy I hope that A is what I see from her in the future, but I feel with her mental issues it will be more on the B side of the equation then eventually when things fall through with her new guy she will fall into the C category! Let's hope for the A because I need to move on with my life without her in it in any way! I keep telling myself THIS TO SHALL PASS and when it seems I am really starting to heal my heart she does something like this to open the wound again.
Chrome Barracuda Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 You ever hear that phrase, kill them with kindness? Then you follow suit to the absolute point of indifference. The moment you stop caring is the moment you feel good about yourself. It sucks I know, but check it out. Deep down inside she's the messed up one. she's left you and is already engaged and getting married to someone else? Why do you think it's gonna end up roses for her? Matter of fact, why should you care? It stings but in the long run your better off without her, you know this. Deep down you know it. Let her go, enjoy your life and focus on yourself. Your future. There's so much other coochie out there. Go and get some!
LikeCharlotte Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 When she dumped me she asked if i wanted her to take me out of her contacts and I said yes! So she knows you don't want to talk to her... you told her directly. Time to block her number or change yours.
Author wareagle Posted May 30, 2008 Author Posted May 30, 2008 So I asked our mutual friends today at work and guess what? Yep they didn't recieve anything from her! Too funny! I had one of the best day's I have had since March today, it's like a huge weight has been lifted off of my heart! I hope I am not just supressing any hurt feeling's that may come out later. I don't know why I feel so relieved, can anyone answer this question for me?
borelandkaren Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 Ok a little background on me and what has happened in the last three months for anyone who isn't familiar with my story. Ex broke up with me almost three months ago saying we were incompatible we argue to much yada yada yada, so I go strict nc, she texts me a few times about some minor thngs like have I sold my truck, don't forget about making a doc appointment for my eyes yada yada yada, and they all went unanswered frome me. She text me a few times to try and deliberately hurt me or so I felt, and again no reply from me! So fast forward to today. I haven't heard anything from her in about a month now, then today she sends me a text that say's (HEY EVERYONE! i'M MARRYING THE LOVE OF MY LIFE) WTF!!!! WHY would she do such a thing she dumped me I haven't done anything to this woman! If you are curious about the whole story I think I have posted it here somewhere! I don't know what to say. That's pretty harsh. This woman is a hurtful person and maybe you need to change your phone number so you can't receive any more txt messages from her. What a nasty message to send to you, darl. Keep your chin up. U know (painful as it seems right now) that you have done the right thing in not having any contact with her. If she's going to do this to u now, she'll do far worse to the sucker she's marrying. After a month! Gee, that sounds like true love! Don't sweat it. Get on with your life without this type of person in it. The best revenge is success.
borelandkaren Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 So I asked our mutual friends today at work and guess what? Yep they didn't recieve anything from her! Too funny! I had one of the best day's I have had since March today, it's like a huge weight has been lifted off of my heart! I hope I am not just supressing any hurt feeling's that may come out later. I don't know why I feel so relieved, can anyone answer this question for me? My original reply to you was to ask you if any of it was true? Obviously my first thoughts were correct. That's why you feel so relieved. Because even though you know she's still available, u also know she's completely full of ****! Do you want this person in your life ever again? I don't believe you do. U certainly don't need her. Take care and walk tall.
JackhammerGemma Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 I would either continue to ignore her or say "That's great, I'm so happy for you!!" Whether she is lying about getting married or not that would probably still piss her off. I myself would go with option #1 and ignore though.
tinke Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 what a desperate attempt for attention/reaction from you. doesn't deserve any reply in my opinion. your relief may be the realization that you ARE surviving without her, and seeing her in a different light...she's not so dazzling! take care
Author wareagle Posted May 31, 2008 Author Posted May 31, 2008 Oh she's not dazzling at all anymore tinke! She isn't the person that I knew when we first started out for sure! It really sucks when someone puts up a front in the beginning, and then as time goes by you see the real side of that person! Most of the time you have allready fell in love and it's to late! Fake people SUCK!!!!! LOL!!
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