Author DunnoWhat Posted May 29, 2008 Author Posted May 29, 2008 Thanks for all the responces. I'll see what I'll do tomorrow. It's a tough one to call so I'll think it over. The thing is I didn't think I'd like her as much as I did so I'm not doing it to save face. Personally I think it's over but it's worth a go I suppose..
Tomcat33 Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 Thanks for all the responces. I'll see what I'll do tomorrow. It's a tough one to call so I'll think it over. The thing is I didn't think I'd like her as much as I did so I'm not doing it to save face. Personally I think it's over but it's worth a go I suppose.. So you gotta step up your game then and show her that you liked her, email her just something postive about the date and compliment her on something you liked about her...you have NOTHING to lose at this point, show here that you liked her. She might be rejecting you thinking "this guy is not into me, made some weird comments on the date, showed no sign he liked me and wants to see me again WTF!?!??" She's prob thinking strange things on her end too so show her that you liked her don't wait around, don't play waiting games just GO FOR IT. If she rejects you then you know but why torture yourself more days wondering what if...? If she is on the fence thinking weird thought that might be the thing that just tips here over to your side.
Author DunnoWhat Posted May 29, 2008 Author Posted May 29, 2008 So you gotta step up your game then and show her that you liked her, email her just something postive about the date and compliment her on something you liked about her...you have NOTHING to lose at this point, show here that you liked her. She might be rejecting you thinking "this guy is not into me, made some weird comments on the date, showed no sign he liked me and wants to see me again WTF!?!??" She's prob thinking strange things on her end too so show her that you liked her don't wait around, don't play waiting games just GO FOR IT. If she rejects you then you know but why torture yourself more days wondering what if...? If she is on the fence thinking weird thought that might be the thing that just tips here over to your side. Your right I'm going to contact her. I see she's online now after saying she wouldn't be on all week so I dunno will catch her out or just pretent I didn't see her.. I'll send her something either way. Just tell her positive things about herself and see what happens.
Author DunnoWhat Posted May 29, 2008 Author Posted May 29, 2008 Just sent her a message but she's offline! She'll get it tomorrow if she bothers reading it.
Kamille Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 Personally, and I might only be from another generation (I'm 32), I find anything on-line to be non-committal. Nothing says I'm interested like a phone call. If you want to step up your game - and I assume you might have her number, give her a call and tell her you would like to take her out to dinner (make it in a 3-4 days from now so that she works up some anticipation).
Untouchable_Fire Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 Just sent her a message but she's offline! She'll get it tomorrow if she bothers reading it. Make sure you drop some compliments in there! Ones that are true to how you feel, but don't be crass about it. So, if you thought she had pretty eyes, or was really funny, tell her. If you thought she had great knockers... hold onto that compliment for a bit.
Author DunnoWhat Posted May 29, 2008 Author Posted May 29, 2008 Personally, and I might only be from another generation (I'm 32), I find anything on-line to be non-committal. Nothing says I'm interested like a phone call. If you want to step up your game - and I assume you might have her number, give her a call and tell her you would like to take her out to dinner (make it in a 3-4 days from now so that she works up some anticipation). I won't do that because she may not even like me. I actually think the chances are slim of anything coming out of it so the message will have to do. She may or may not read it so it's up to her now. She knows I like her and the ball is in her court as they say.
Kamille Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 I won't do that because she may not even like me. I actually think the chances are slim of anything coming out of it so the message will have to do. She may or may not read it so it's up to her now. She knows I like her and the ball is in her court as they say. Hmmmm.... I don't understand your logic. If chances are slim anyways, what have you got to lose by giving this some real effort? My guess you yourself are on the fence about this girl and are not that interested to begin with.
Author DunnoWhat Posted May 29, 2008 Author Posted May 29, 2008 Make sure you drop some compliments in there! Ones that are true to how you feel, but don't be crass about it. So, if you thought she had pretty eyes, or was really funny, tell her. If you thought she had great knockers... hold onto that compliment for a bit. I did I said she was attractive and I said I couldn't understand why she thought she was overweight etc. She gets the hint anyway!!
Author DunnoWhat Posted May 29, 2008 Author Posted May 29, 2008 Hmmmm.... I don't understand your logic. If chances are slim anyways, what have you got to lose by giving this some real effort? My guess you yourself are on the fence about this girl and are not that interested to begin with. I'm very interested but I'm not going to beg anybody. Just the way I am. I find it easier typing it instead of saying it.
Untouchable_Fire Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 I did I said she was attractive and I said I couldn't understand why she thought she was overweight etc. She gets the hint anyway!! I usually wouldn't approach the weight issue from that direction. Instead of mentioning a negative like saying "I don't understand why you think your so huge and fat.", try saying something along the lines of "I think you have a great body, your exactly my type." I'm very interested but I'm not going to beg anybody. Just the way I am. I find it easier typing it instead of saying it. Kamille wants to hear a guy beg. That's old school!
Kamille Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 I usually wouldn't approach the weight issue from that direction. Instead of mentioning a negative like saying "I don't understand why you think your so huge and fat.", try saying something along the lines of "I think you have a great body, your exactly my type." Kamille wants to hear a guy beg. That's old school! Frankly, how is calling a girl and asking her out to dinner sometime begging? It's much classier then writing a girl an email about her great body. Calling=exuding condifence and showing interest. E-mailing, dipping your toe in.
Author DunnoWhat Posted May 31, 2008 Author Posted May 31, 2008 She was online but didn't bother reading the message I sent her because it says unread. I don't know is this because she told me she wouldn't be online till next week or what and didn't want to be seen as lieing but I'd say she has no interest. I don't think I'm coming across as needy because I only sent her 1 text message since dating last week and even that was after 2 days. So does she see me as being desperate and needy or just think I'm not that interested in her?
Walk Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 You sent her 1 text message and 1 message online?? Why won't you call her? Don't you have her phone number? Seriously, if the only contact I received from a guy was a single text and one online message, then I wouldnt' bother replying at all. It tells me you aren't able to speak to me directly, that you lack the ability to communicate in a direct way, and you're probably not interested but instead tugging the line to see if I'll jump to run after you. So I think you shot yourself in the foot with the "Light" comment, and you're killing the little chance you had left with the non-direct attempts at communicating.
Author DunnoWhat Posted May 31, 2008 Author Posted May 31, 2008 You sent her 1 text message and 1 message online?? Why won't you call her? Don't you have her phone number? Seriously, if the only contact I received from a guy was a single text and one online message, then I wouldnt' bother replying at all. It tells me you aren't able to speak to me directly, that you lack the ability to communicate in a direct way, and you're probably not interested but instead tugging the line to see if I'll jump to run after you. So I think you shot yourself in the foot with the "Light" comment, and you're killing the little chance you had left with the non-direct attempts at communicating. Are you sure? Everybody's saying that made a difference and being a man i can't get my head around it. Thats why I asked women I suppose. Maybe she was being polite when we were getting on great for 2/3s of the date?
Jilly Bean Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 I also think I may have offended her because when I was ordering her a drink I knew she was drinking Millar but I asked her was she drinking Millar light (she's a bit overweight). She asked jokingly did she look as though she needed it. Ya think? I'm not sure how old you are, but let me give you the BIGGEST tip about women that you clearly need. NEVER EVER JOKE ABOUT A WOMAN'S WEIGHT. Most women stress incredibly about this and don't find humor in a comment that can easily be viewed as an insult. You totally and completely blew it with this comment, and honestly, if you continue to be this insensitive to women, I think you'll be posting her a LOT. How would you have felt if you were in bed with her and she said, "oh, I have a penis extender in the drawer you can grab. KIDDING!"
Walk Posted May 31, 2008 Posted May 31, 2008 Are you sure? Everybody's saying that made a difference and being a man i can't get my head around it. Thats why I asked women I suppose. Maybe she was being polite when we were getting on great for 2/3s of the date? Let me see if I can put this in terms a guy could fathom... It'd be similiar to if you were a bit self-concious about the size of your penis. Maybe you feel it's on the small side. So you crack a small joke about it's tiny proportions. (assume she can gauge your size from the buldge in your pants) Later during dinner, your date goes to order you a fresh beer, but jokes about how maybe she should be getting you a penis enlarger instead. She thought it was funny, and never apologizes or mentions she thinks different for the rest of the dinner. Would you feel comfortable going out with a woman who made fun of your penis size again, or would you brush her off if she contacted you again? Does that make more sense to you? I'm not trying to be rude, and I'm not saying your not endowed down there... just trying to help you understand a little better how it could affect a woman if you joke about her weight.
Author DunnoWhat Posted June 3, 2008 Author Posted June 3, 2008 Well she's deleted her profile where I sent the message so thats like getting a real kick in the teeth! I'm not going to take it that personally cause that sort of behaviour is pathetic really.. Let me see if I can put this in terms a guy could fathom... It'd be similiar to if you were a bit self-concious about the size of your penis. Maybe you feel it's on the small side. So you crack a small joke about it's tiny proportions. (assume she can gauge your size from the buldge in your pants) Later during dinner, your date goes to order you a fresh beer, but jokes about how maybe she should be getting you a penis enlarger instead. She thought it was funny, and never apologizes or mentions she thinks different for the rest of the dinner. Would you feel comfortable going out with a woman who made fun of your penis size again, or would you brush her off if she contacted you again? Does that make more sense to you? I'm not trying to be rude, and I'm not saying your not endowed down there... just trying to help you understand a little better how it could affect a woman if you joke about her weight. Well I still don't think it was that bad.
Kamille Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 Was it on a dating site? Perhaps she deleted the profile because she decided to become exclusive with another guy she was dating. It's not like you were stalking her sending countless messages, so I doubt the delete has much to do with you.
Author DunnoWhat Posted June 3, 2008 Author Posted June 3, 2008 Was it on a dating site? Perhaps she deleted the profile because she decided to become exclusive with another guy she was dating. It's not like you were stalking her sending countless messages, so I doubt the delete has much to do with you. Yes it is.. I sent her a message last week and she ignored it and today I sent her a (as in 1 text my second in 9 days since the date) text telling her to have a look and I'd like a second date. Even a friendly no sorry would have been ok.
Raiatea Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 So you sent her 2 messages in 9 days? To me that says "I have nothing better to do so I will contact you, as being with you is better than nothing". This is just my POV, I don't know what this other person is thinking. But 2 text messages in 9 days to me shows a lack of interest. If you really liked her, you should have called the day after or at least made further arrangements that same night of the date. I may be wrong, but it sounds like you may have lost her for good.
Author DunnoWhat Posted June 3, 2008 Author Posted June 3, 2008 So you sent her 2 messages in 9 days? To me that says "I have nothing better to do so I will contact you, as being with you is better than nothing". This is just my POV, I don't know what this other person is thinking. But 2 text messages in 9 days to me shows a lack of interest. If you really liked her, you should have called the day after or at least made further arrangements that same night of the date. I may be wrong, but it sounds like you may have lost her for good. I sent her a few emails too. 2 emails and a message on the dating site that she didn't bother reading. Personally I think I overdid it a bit with the contact (too much). Today I did say I'd like to meet again but got no reply. I would try to send 1 more message but she think i'm stalking her! Thats what women are like..
Raiatea Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 In that case then I would say she is ignoring you. From what you have said about her, she seems very sensitive. You on the other hand seem just the opposite! At least you tried to contact her. If she is that sensitive and ignores you, then maybe you should look for someone who behaves with a little more maturity. In my opinion, letting someone know you are no longer interested may be painful, but is far better than the "what if" of being ignored.
Author DunnoWhat Posted June 3, 2008 Author Posted June 3, 2008 In that case then I would say she is ignoring you. From what you have said about her, she seems very sensitive. You on the other hand seem just the opposite! At least you tried to contact her. If she is that sensitive and ignores you, then maybe you should look for someone who behaves with a little more maturity. In my opinion, letting someone know you are no longer interested may be painful, but is far better than the "what if" of being ignored. Yeah its over. After paying for the meal etc you'd thing you'd get an answer at least...
george1122 Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 You might have blown it by the comment but you really blew any chance of bouncing back by not giving her a call. Girls expect calls after a date, you don't call, you don't get a second date. Text message = lack of confidence + lack of interest. Even though you blew it by the comment, you could have called and engaged her in a fun converstaion and then asked her out again. It might be too late, but you can give it a final try. I really mean the final try. Don't forget to use the phone and be honest and nice. Don't bring up the weight issue, compliment her on something else you like about her. I did the similar but the opposite thing. I told my date on the second date that I like her. Called her the next day, it has been 4 days and she han't returned my call I did nothing else wrong on the date, she was happy, shared some stuff with me, however, I might have come too strong too fast Its a delicate matter, be careful.
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