shorty35 Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 hi I'm currently in NC w/bf of 9 mths. we ended things on mutual grounds and he sent me an email saying he still wanted to be friends. but since then, I've decided I want to have my man back again so I've been attempting NO CONTACT for 30 days to "wipe the slate" clean for the both of us. its been pure torture and hell for me as I miss him so so much. on day 10 of our no contact, yesterday...i was having a real hard time cuz it would've been our 10 mth anniv. yet I held on and remained strong and did not contact him. to my pleasant surprise, he finally called me at work yesterday asked me how are things and repeated twice that I'm on his mind and for me not to worry. I made sure i sounded very upbeat and as happy and positive I could be as I didn't want to sound desperate. after we hung up , I felt really good. 10 longs days of not calling him, and it felt so good that he reached out to me first. but now i'm back to no contact as I still feel there's a lot of ground to cover before I can attempt to get back with him. here's the thing though: today i broke down and sent him a text message saying it was good to hear his voice yesterday and he responded back the same and said "kiss Kiss" did i make the wrong move by texting him after everything I've worked up to this point of no contact? a huge part of my plan on getting back with him is hoping that after 30 days of NC will give him a chance to miss me, while I don't seem desperate or needy... and we'd have a better chance to start over again. did I blow my chances with that text? any opinions or suggestions would help, thanks.
jadedone Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 The "kiss kiss" part seems to be an opening. 10 days may have made him miss you, but I would still wait for him to make the next contact. Make him chase a little.
0hpenelope Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 Supporting what jadedone said. This requires a tricky balance. The break was mutual, right? You have to give him enough to know that you'll still welcome his romantic overtures without looking desperate to him. Give him the opportunity of the chase, but how to do that without running him haggard... yeah, you've got to be careful with the too much vs. too little balance. It's a give and take. I hope you'll find a healthy middle ground: you'll be superb when you guys get together and when you guys don't get together, you'll be fine, too. I don't agree with using NC as a means to get somebody back (ie. to make the person miss you), but as it goes things are different for everyone. Good luck with things, okay? Keep us posted.
Author shorty35 Posted May 29, 2008 Author Posted May 29, 2008 yeah I was thinking the same thing. so i have to balance this carefully without seeming childish by avoiding him all together. so if and when he does call, I maybe won't take the call right away, if he leaves a mssg, i will wait bout a day or so and return it.
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