cant stop crying, i need my bf back

[xjohnsgirlx]

:(my bf and i broke up for good im pretty sure last night, we had been having really bad troubles for about a month. Whenever we saw each other we would just fight and argue. But deep down i am in love with him forever. He means the world to me his so beautiful and perfect when he wants to be. He called me ask me last night yes or no. He had told me earlier that day that he cant cope and that ive changed. I spent the afternoon crying, i remember the days when we would just laugh and smile every minute. He use to always hold me tight and tell me how hed leave any girl for me and that im his princess . A few months into our relationship he started to accuse me of cheating, he would get so worried and paranoid when i was at work that he would forget to say the sweet things, all i heard was accusations. I dealt with it for months, every day begging him to be sweet again. It built me up make me boil inside it was hard but i knew he was the one forever so i lived with it. We began to start talking about marriage and babys too it was a dream come true. Every afternoon id come home from work all boiled up and so angry ready to strangle him that he actually thought id cheat on him, and hed just be sweet and loving, he didnt understand how much i was hurting and hed question me as to why i was not so sweet . One day i came home sooo soo angry and he was like i trust you and i was like dumb founded from him accusing me and everything to saying he trusted me just like that and i asked how did this happen and he said he talked to one of his friends? how can his friend say something that i havent said and make him change in one day. Anyway that made me sooo happy that he finally trusted me but it didnt feel right, he was now questioning every single thing i did. And he was very sexual, he always wanted sex or a bj. And i would come home from work exhaust and wanting to relax and be in his arms and hed ask me for a blow job.... and i would say no. And that did not suit him, he wanted it and then would start saying i must have got it at work again. Anyways like i said we started fight and argueing every day every minute, i wanted things back to the start so bad. I love him forever and now we have broke up and he made it clear that hell just find someone else and forget about everything.

 

I want the perfect guy i fell inlove with back, id die for him

 

we were living together did everything together i gave up all my friends he was the only number in my phone on msn, i need help im all alone and i want him back, i gave up everything to show him his all i wanted and needed.

 

pleaseeeeeeee help me, i cant stop crying, my life is horrible:(

[tealeafbud]

I know it's a difficult time for you. You just need to talk to your friends, talk to your family, talk to anyone you can reach out to and be STRONG.

 

You need to realize that it wasn't a healthy relationship to begin with. I know you love him,but now is the time to let go and realize and trust that you'll find someone who will treat you 10x more special than you deserve.

[Ftrikkle]

Hey!,

 

Ignore the above post, thats irrelvant, if anyones going to treat you x10 more its him not some other knob who will cheat.

 

Sounds like hes scared, Sounds like hes had it happen before?, If so i can understand why he says that ****. Its all rubbish he does not mean it.

 

Even though your boiled up on the in side there no need to loose it at him, hes just trying to look at for him and most likley you, Ive had it happen with my wife its a terriable time for both of you to happen, but all you need to do is have belif in him ye? Well you love him forever sounds like his taking your heart, why let him go? trust me these guy sounds down to earth and would do anything for you

 

 

Most likley you have changed scaring him off that a fair call, if you change in a few days some guys get affected, for the sex maybe hes just a horny lil bugger, sex is good, but keep it to like every 2nd day or soo, if you want his kids and to marry him your letting him slip away.

 

And for your friends. I bet he gave up on his to for you!

 

To me this guy sounds honest and would never try to hurt you. goodluck

 

P.s Sounds to me like somtimes you dont care yourself or your selfish, could be another problem. This is not having a shot at you.

[xjohnsgirlx]

Ftrikkle - i really like your reply its helping me,

 

he never gave up anything to a point, but he did spoil me with love at the start. His last gf cheated on him, i got that out of him and i always told him i wasnt like her i would never do that but it never snuk in. Id buy him presents flowers chocolates all the time to show him he was my world but it didnt help. And as time passed he seemed to avoid me. Like he never use to go on his comp, we lived together shared at his and mine. Like he would play all his online games like wow, dod, he was always on vent. He never allowed of me to talk to any other guys ever(not that i wanted to) but he would always be talking to these people on the games, when we would use to spend this time together. More and more he would spend on there and there was even a chick that he added to msn from there and next thing shes on his myspace. Vent is like a chat room that you use mics and he would always be talking to her laughing with her and joking around it would make me so sad. Id have to beg him to come spend time with me but he hardly would listen . But when he did spend time with me it was so perfect. He also left his job cause the people there were well bogans. So he was out of a job for like 3 months he still is now, and i was paying for everything just about helping him with his car payments everything and sometimes itd get to me like he was using me. I always had to come home after work and help him search for jobs and id apply for him while all day hed spend at home playing these stupid comp games. I know that im just pointing out the bad things now but this is how come i got so boiled up inside. I stopped wearing make up because he said that i wore it to show off to people, i started working more hours to help pay for everything and we planned to move out, so i wanted money for that for us for our future, but he would say that i was going for some other guy. I know he was hurt before but did he need to say things like that. If i didnt have to come to work i wouldnt id spend all my time with him, but thats not possible not just yet. I love him forever, i wish hed understand me, but i know now ive lost him forever and i cant live with this pain... pleaseeeeeee help me

[xjohnsgirlx]

Join Date: May 2008

Posts: 2

 

 

Ftrikkle - i really like your reply its helping me,

 

he never gave up anything to a point, but he did spoil me with love at the start. His last gf cheated on him, i got that out of him and i always told him i wasnt like her i would never do that but it never snuk in. Id buy him presents flowers chocolates all the time to show him he was my world but it didnt help. And as time passed he seemed to avoid me. Like he never use to go on his comp, we lived together shared at his and mine. Like he would play all his online games like wow, dod, he was always on vent. He never allowed of me to talk to any other guys ever(not that i wanted to) but he would always be talking to these people on the games, when we would use to spend this time together. More and more he would spend on there and there was even a chick that he added to msn from there and next thing shes on his myspace. Vent is like a chat room that you use mics and he would always be talking to her laughing with her and joking around it would make me so sad. Id have to beg him to come spend time with me but he hardly would listen . But when he did spend time with me it was so perfect. He also left his job cause the people there were well bogans. So he was out of a job for like 3 months he still is now, and i was paying for everything just about helping him with his car payments everything and sometimes itd get to me like he was using me. I always had to come home after work and help him search for jobs and id apply for him while all day hed spend at home playing these stupid comp games. I know that im just pointing out the bad things now but this is how come i got so boiled up inside. I stopped wearing make up because he said that i wore it to show off to people, i started working more hours to help pay for everything and we planned to move out, so i wanted money for that for us for our future, but he would say that i was going for some other guy. I know he was hurt before but did he need to say things like that. If i didnt have to come to work i wouldnt id spend all my time with him, but thats not possible not just yet. I love him forever, i wish hed understand me, but i know now ive lost him forever and i cant live with this pain... pleaseeeeeee help me

[shorty35]

i'm so sorry u feeling this way. i am currently in NC now w/my ex and i know the lonely sad feeling all too well. I miss his so so much. but please know that even though it maay not seem like it now, things will look up soon. after 10 days of being strong and doing everything to not call him, he finally called me. it was relieving and helped curb the hurt a little. but now i am back to missing him

[Ftrikkle]

Exactly,

 

Id be pissed to about him talking to other people, But on a game its harmless i see it, and if your getting upset about not talkin to guys then theres somthing wrong with you, id be pissed if you did too in my opion just tell him to stop going on the chat thing or what ever it is tell him to make a new one easy peazy, my space and msn will destroy a relationship its true ive seen it happen looks like he found thatd youve done somthing on there to make him feel insecure

 

Sounds like your still being selfish, you cant even talk to him.. that even worse. I can see but a sudden change hes put his defense back up and your partly to blame, but you need to stop being so silly about everything, you cant keep saying stuff then backing out on him no wonder he thinks theres other people, me and my wife were like this, we had a kid i tell you what it bought as so close and we never leave each others sides, sounds to me like you wanna talk to other guys though, but he gave stuff up for you, I guess hes trying to get a job? and if he is you cant feel used.

 

Your going head over heals if you love him and want all this stuff you need to get it together disregard people telling you to leave, easy to run but it back fires in yout face, beg him give him set times for the computer, if use move out spend time shopping while hes at home or take him with you.

 

YOU NEED TO STOP CARRYING ON

 

P.s If you keep carrying on like this, he will not come back.

[xjohnsgirlx]

I Know that i am half to blame for this, i dont want to seem like im carrying on but i just need to get it all out and have someone tell me right. Say i wanted to go to the shops when he was on the comp, hed first say no im coming with you and i lovedddddd that so much, he wanted to spend every minute with me it was perfect. But like now if i was to ask can we go to the shops if he was on the comp hed be like you can go by yourself, prob want to check out guys, prob not even going to the shops going to someone elses house. Myspace and msn have ruined our relationships. I deleted everyone off both of mine but he refused to do it saying itll take to long. He has over 500 people on his msn...but still could he not delete them for me. I know i took his heart too and im so glad i did he is so perfect and im just an ordinary girl. But all the time wed have a lil fight hed say, youll regret it if you leave me, im the most loyal guy you know. but then hed go on to say ill find another girl and just forget about you. But in my heart i felt when i had to say something it was 'if we broke up id never forget about you my heart belongs to you forever' i just want to know why when everything is so perfect hed say that he could just forget about me. I love him to death i want to see him, but every time i call or he calls me we just argue. I want to be able to do things with out him questioning me so much. I want it to be like the start, but im just scared that it will never be. And i need help as to how to make it work, how do you fix things? We always spoke about having a baby i know im ready and he is ready too. It would make us invinsible. Just at times hed be like were not having a baby forget it, when he was angry at me or thought there was someone else it would rip me apart inside. im sorry for just going on and on, i just need help and i dont no where else to go.

[tealeafbud]

ftrikkle, you need to stop giving this girl false hope. If they broke up, she needs to move on as soon as possible and not waste valuable time trying to get back into that unhealthy relationship.

 

did you even read her post on how badly she was treated? give me a break. In your situation, you were married. that's a totally different situation. This girl sounds very young.

[xjohnsgirlx]

i never wanted to talk to other guys, never ever. I wouldnt even mention it. he would be on msn or vent or something and id be like you talk to alot of people i dont have anyone on my msn, and hed be like why do you want to talk to other guys, you want to dont you, and i would always say no, because thats the truth. It just frustrated me that hed turn my simple statement back into questions on me like i was in the wrong? i just wanted him to be with me be talking with me, not all these other people:( i would beg him to spend time with me, sometimes hed be like, i havent been on the comp all day, or his nearly finished the game. was i doing something that made him do that?

[xjohnsgirlx]

he rang you? but did use get back together:( lhis not with you and thats why you miss him still? i really need help its like im broken inside.

[Ftrikkle]

My gosh, Ok how many friends did you have im saying 2 or 3, and he had like 15 or more, do you wanna see them or what else, what im guessing is he has lots and your scared but he gave them up for you right. Get him to give you the password and if he agrees that you can change so he dosent know and cant log on it good. make a new email let him add real friends not fakies, and stuff.

 

About going out etc to shops and him staying home obvs hes cheated on still feels and is scared its hard to get over even if it was ages ago, questioning is fine just not to many, and your going to keep getting mad he will leave for good im telling you now he dosent one some cranky women in his life, if your going to keep changing etc ull scare him of for good got it.

 

If use want it then you need to make it work aswell get over being mad, just be happy make him happy and hell make you happy itll make the pain go away

 

If you want a kid its your choice it could even help use out, if your on his back about Sh** he will get mad and walk out i agree, you either get over it or hes not going to come back.

 

hes mad at you when he says no kid, and scared you will cheat if you cant see from his shoes its hard, hes knows hes doing it but its hard to stop, but if you keep him keen and smiling he will never.

 

just get over it all

[xjohnsgirlx]

what am i suppose to do?

[Ftrikkle]

up to you.

[backto1]

Ftrikkle, your advice is SO BAD you should be banned for life.

 

johnsgirl,

 

You were in a very unhealthy relationship and it's good you got out of there. I know it sucks that your boyfriend has been cheated on in the past but you need to find someone who will not be overly jealous. It takes two to make a relationship work and unfortunately this guy did not put the effort and time into it.

 

I know you don't want to hear this but the best thing for you is to get out of the relationship and move on. The guy you were with just now is an asswipe.

 

He didn't let you wear makeup.

He spent all of his time at the computer and not with you.

He was insanely jealous.

He was pushy for sex and blowjobs

 

Yes there may be things you love about him but don't put him on a pedestal. The things he did to you...that's no way to show a woman you love her.

 

Get out of this relationship and take time to heal. Don't go jumping into a new relationship, just take time to heal and get your self confidence back up. If you exit this relationship and take your time, you WILL meet someone 10x better later on. Then you'll look back at this raging jealous guy and laugh at how much better your new one is.

[justaman99]

Ftrikkle, your advice is SO BAD you should be banned for life.

 

johnsgirl,

 

You were in a very unhealthy relationship and it's good you got out of there. I know it sucks that your boyfriend has been cheated on in the past but you need to find someone who will not be overly jealous. It takes two to make a relationship work and unfortunately this guy did not put the effort and time into it.

 

I know you don't want to hear this but the best thing for you is to get out of the relationship and move on. The guy you were with just now is an asswipe.

 

He didn't let you wear makeup.

He spent all of his time at the computer and not with you.

He was insanely jealous.

He was pushy for sex and blowjobs

 

Yes there may be things you love about him but don't put him on a pedestal. The things he did to you...that's no way to show a woman you love her.

 

Get out of this relationship and take time to heal. Don't go jumping into a new relationship, just take time to heal and get your self confidence back up. If you exit this relationship and take your time, you WILL meet someone 10x better later on. Then you'll look back at this raging jealous guy and laugh at how much better your new one is.

 

Agreed. This guy was very insecure and controlling. Sure he can do whatever he wants, play games, talk to girls and have fun but what about getting a job, respecting you and taking care of your needs? Here you are trying to help him and he doesn't do anything for you except ask for blowjobs. The guy is a scrub and Ftrikkle's advice is ****.

[xjohnsgirlx]

thanks for helping, i dont no who to listen to, i know he did wrong, but he treated me so well at the start and i would do anything to have that beautiful guy back. Just the way he would forget about everything when i was at work made me so angry and upset. I think every one at work thinks im mental cause id just start crying and tell them im okay. I miss him so bad. He was my dream, he will always have my heart, i was scared that hed leave when we first met but he showed me and made me open right up. But now im back to that scared state again. Thank you so much for helping me through this.

[xjohnsgirlx]

he use to be sweet though and its like he changed, was it something i did?

[tealeafbud]

Have you even read any of my posts on your thread, or are you too ignorant to see any good in it?

[backto1]

No, it wasn't anything you did at all. Bad guys and girls put their best face forth at first. It's not until later on that they let their true colors show. Don't blame yourself. Work on realizing what's great about YOU and soon you'll have that self confidence back.

[xjohnsgirlx]

i have read your posts tealeafbud, i find them very helpful, i know where you are coming from and i know that your right, just there is a part inside me that loves so dearly and much the guy that was there at the start, i cant just forget about him like that. i should move on just i dont have anywhere to move on to, he was my life?

[lovelyfi]

hony your way too good for him yes you can cry the bucket out it sometimes help but trust me all you need right now is be positive about your life and try6 to get your self esteem back.try to rekindle your relationship with your friends and family.i know its not easy but just take steps and eventually you will be happy again .You have to put your self first before anything else think about your life you cant cry over split milk.Find time get away for sometimes go somewhere different from the environment your used to ,cry yourself to sleep wake up in the morning go have a make over stay their for a week and it will help .try to move on with your life ..from now on think about urself .deep down you know your better than that be glad ur out of the unhealthy r/ship.been there its not easy to move on but when you do he will come back knocking and they usually come back trust me ...take it easy life is too short to waste your life on a loser .hope that helps.don;t think about the good memories you had you will slip back think about the bad things that happened it will be easy to move on.

[lovelyfi]

hullo all,

 

just joined hopefully this community will help me.

i was in the most wonderful r.ship with a great guy but he was the controlling,obsessed guy type.he had bdp but i loved him anyways untill he started pressuring me into marriage.well i told him to first deal with his insecurities befoe i take that step with me but one day we were at dinner and he just told me out of no where we either get married or his moving on so i told him i loved him but if he cant wait he should do whatever he feels right for him.so we broke up.then he goes on his hi5 starts blogging about how his g/f dumped him bla bla .anyways to cut the story short he starts seeing someone new on myspace for a few weeks it wasnt easy for me i lost a lot of weight but after a while i had to pull myself together went through baby steps gained my self estem and started dating again out of no where his started viewing my hi5 profile .i had so much anger for the decision he made but am over it and a few days ago i left my hi5 profile unintetionally on public viewing and guess who i see who is been viewing me my ex..i dont know how to handle the whole situation but i put my profile back to private am still wondering abt his actions though if his sincerely moved on why resurface in my life?? plz help

[me1234]

i should move on just i dont have anywhere to move on to, he was my life?

 

seems like you became overly dependent on him which isn't healthy.

 

please don't feel hopeless. maybe he was your life, but you can rebuild a new, extremely fulfilling life. it's difficult rebuilding from scratch, but the more things you become interested in and the more people you befriend - the more fulfilled and less empty you'll feel. you lived happily before him, why shouldn't you be able to now?

 

find new interests (or rekindle old ones), reach out to old friends, make new friends, network, exercise, go to social events, join a club, find a hobby (musical instrument, sport, learning a new language, etc), volunteer (big bro/big sis, animal shelter, etc.), further your education, etc.

 

doing things for yourself will be difficult at first, but remind yourself that the larger the investment you make into it, the greater the return in the end.

[justaman99]

No, it wasn't anything you did at all. Bad guys and girls put their best face forth at first. It's not until later on that they let their true colors show.

 

so so true!