v33 Posted May 28, 2008 Posted May 28, 2008 Well it's been two months now.... longer if you count that she said she didn't love me back in October and started packing. I am entertaining crazy ideas of trying to get her back. From what I have heard from others and seen, her life is more of a mess now than it ever was, she talks about missing me, and her new man (who is WAY too old for her) has "pretend" dumped her a couple times because he can't handle her drinking and insanity. And I still end up crying today and telling myself how much I love her and want her back. I left an old tshirt of mine at "our" house she once really liked to wear to bed and she took it the other day, as well as a CD I made for her ages ago. We have light to no contact, but for some reason I think in the back of my head she still loves me. But she knows where I am but never comes around when she thinks I will be there. Why do I feel like this? She is no good for me but I miss her so damn much. As strong as I appear to my friends and as much as I have been doing to improve my health and life in general I still think about her every waking minute. If I happen to see her somewhere she looks more beautiful than ever. How do I stop?
AGENT 99 Posted May 28, 2008 Posted May 28, 2008 Going through this is sort of like being the guy in "Shallow Hal". She looks perfect to YOU...but everyone else can see her flaws big time.Sort of like wearing beer goggles...once you "sober up" things start to make more sense. You'll come out of the fog. Give it time.
sultry33 Posted May 28, 2008 Posted May 28, 2008 hi v33, its only been 2months.. everyone heals moves on in there own time im the same.. to his face im brave but on my own im a mess every morning i wake up.. he is still my 1st thought i trully miss him, love him but we cant make them want us.. even if you know she is bad it is still going to hurt, just continue to try keep busy.. brave face does help;)
kizik Posted May 28, 2008 Posted May 28, 2008 All of this is simply b/c YOU KNOW HER. It's familiar and safe to be with her. The scariest thing in the world is being without your security, be it shelter, family, job- or a loved one. It's not just time, as Agent suggested - you've got to remember how she hurt you. Getting her back will just lead to more torment, no matter how much someone claims they've changed.
Author v33 Posted May 28, 2008 Author Posted May 28, 2008 All of this is simply b/c YOU KNOW HER. It's familiar and safe to be with her. The scariest thing in the world is being without your security, be it shelter, family, job- or a loved one. It's not just time, as Agent suggested - you've got to remember how she hurt you. Getting her back will just lead to more torment, no matter how much someone claims they've changed. And she hasn't even changed!!! Lol, I really get disgusted with myself sometimes. I made the mistake of investing so much emotionally into her and neglecting my own life that I guess I feel like I can't let my "project" go. Because what do I have left now? Well lots, really.... but I suppose I just need more time. I do think of her less than I did a month ago, and the mornings aren't as hard as they once were. But I find myself finding ways to trigger memories, like looking at pictures or listening to our songs or just remembering good times. Then I get all worked up. I need some discipline. Or a good kick in the ass.
mark982 Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 v33, you say new man is dumping her cause of her drinking and insanity. sounds like there's a lesson to be taught here! if he caught on this quick, maybe you should also.
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