4givrnt4gtr Posted May 28, 2008 Posted May 28, 2008 So, I was reading a thread about this guy sorta cheating and wanting his girl back. A lot of people seem of the mind that the girl should contact him if she wants him back.....To me, that seems rather...well not happening. I dont know, but I guess, i am in that situation. I love my ex, very much, but he also hurt me very very much. Whats more, i feel that he needs to be the one coming to me, winning me over since he was the one who messed up not me. Am i wrong about this? Am i supposed to be the one saying fine come back? Sounds rather weird to me....what do you all think?
BiAxident Posted May 28, 2008 Posted May 28, 2008 I think that first, the guy has to come back to you on his hands and knees with a rose stuck inbetween his teeth and the word "idiot" branded on the back of his neck. Next, he has to cry enough tears to fill a shot glass, then drink those salty tears while holding the shot-glass with his feet. You should take pictures of these proceedings to serve as a reminder to him of how he felt after he screwed up. Then, you can consider the possibility that you might entertain the idea of potentially thinking about deciding after much rumination that he deserves the notion of a second chance. The rest is up to you..
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted May 28, 2008 Author Posted May 28, 2008 . Then, you can consider the possibility that you might entertain the idea of potentially thinking about deciding after much rumination that he deserves the notion of a second chance. The rest is up to you.. LOL! Ahh thank you...so you mean Im not crazy for wanting the guy who screw up to come and beg me for the possibility of me thinking about giving him another chance.... Good, i thought i had it all wrong for a second....
BiAxident Posted May 28, 2008 Posted May 28, 2008 so you mean Im not crazy for wanting the guy who screw up to come and beg me for the possibility of me thinking about giving him another chance.... If he loves you, he will at least ask for a second chance, or inquire what he can do to earn one. You might think "but he knows he screwed up and that he'll never get another shot". Doesn't matter to a desperate man. If he wants you back, he has to be the one to at least communicate that to you. Then comes the shot-glass full of tears and him being forced to play pick-up-sticks with his butt-cheeks while whistling "zip-a-dee-doo-dah"!!
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted May 28, 2008 Author Posted May 28, 2008 If he loves you, he will at least ask for a second chance, or inquire what he can do to earn one. You might think "but he knows he screwed up and that he'll never get another shot". Doesn't matter to a desperate man. If he wants you back, he has to be the one to at least communicate that to you. Then comes the shot-glass full of tears and him being forced to play pick-up-sticks with his butt-cheeks while whistling "zip-a-dee-doo-dah"!! Very true..he did ask for when the night i found out...but that doesnt count...he panicked. He hadnt contact me until today. I had an exam i had to take so he emailed me at midnight wishing me good luck. Interesting little man i got here.
t_veron Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 Bi is right let him beg a little. Begging might not be a good word but he needs to be the one to explain what he did was wrong and why he did it. Then you have the option of believing him and working things out or moving on. If he doesn't do that or you try and get it out of him then he hasn't learned his lesson and he will do it again. Have some self-respect and expect him (or any other guy) to treat you better. However, in my opinion once someone cheats it's pretty much over unless they really really go out of their way to gain your trust again by turning over the email account passwords... etc... Even if you do get back together you will probably hold this over his head forever and never trust him again. But if you haven't experienced this before then go for it and at worst it will be a learning experience. Just remember... let him work for it.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted May 29, 2008 Author Posted May 29, 2008 Bi is right let him beg a little. Begging might not be a good word but he needs to be the one to explain what he did was wrong and why he did it. Then you have the option of believing him and working things out or moving on. If he doesn't do that or you try and get it out of him then he hasn't learned his lesson and he will do it again. Have some self-respect and expect him (or any other guy) to treat you better. However, in my opinion once someone cheats it's pretty much over unless they really really go out of their way to gain your trust again by turning over the email account passwords... etc... Even if you do get back together you will probably hold this over his head forever and never trust him again. But if you haven't experienced this before then go for it and at worst it will be a learning experience. Just remember... let him work for it. Well we talked about it already. He said he cant expect me to firgive him since he would have a hard time doing it if the tables were turned. When i first found out he begged me not to leave him. The next day we talked he said he couldnt ask me to get back together because what he did was horrible but that he would do anything to be my friend. That he knew I needed time to think. He also said he didnt feel like he had any right to contact me, but to please contact him if i wanted to talk to him. So i think we are beyond explanations. I do want however, him to put effort on contacting me. I want to know he is willing to work hard to regain my trust. He emailed me yesterday, very politely wishing me good luck. THen he texted me after i responded to his email with a bit more cheerful tone. Im not sure whats going to happen, but im not holding my breath. I guess we'll see
kizik Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 I'm confused... did he cheat on you or not? If so, I'm not a big fan of a lot of the advice on this thread. No amount of begging is OK. If he cheated, it's over. Have some self-respect. Cheaters cheat. It'll happen again. You're done with him, if you love yourself. Maybe I'm just jealous of this guy, b/c my ex became indifferent to me for no reason, despite all the support I offered her. And now you're toying with the idea of dealing with this a*sole who f*cked you over. Life's fair.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted May 29, 2008 Author Posted May 29, 2008 I'm confused... did he cheat on you or not? If so, I'm not a big fan of a lot of the advice on this thread. No amount of begging is OK. If he cheated, it's over. Have some self-respect. Cheaters cheat. It'll happen again. You're done with him, if you love yourself. Maybe I'm just jealous of this guy, b/c my ex became indifferent to me for no reason, despite all the support I offered her. And now you're toying with the idea of dealing with this a*sole who f*cked you over. Life's fair. Next time find yourself a girl who actually cares for you, not one that will just walk away for no good reason. And if you are able to find one that loves you enough to consider giving you a second chance when you f*ck up, then you're lucky...Its not about self respect or no self respect, its about giving up something that felt right, that was going well, when one or the other did something stupid AND KNOWS IT, ACCEPTS IT AND DOES SOMETHING ABOUT IT. He got caught texting some chick online. Swears he's never met her and it was a stupid game that he was never gonna meet her. In any case, he's no in the clear, and he's gonna have to do A LOT to make it up to me. Not sure if he can...if not, well i guess i didnt lose much then
XNemesisX Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 Swears he's never met her and it was a stupid game that he was never gonna meet her. That is really not cheating...I was thinking maybe he slept with another girl or something. How old are you? What he did is certainly forgivable. It sounds like you want to get back together with him and I hope you do if you have really built something good with him. Some texting online shouldn't cost an otherwise good relationship ya know?
kizik Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 Next time find yourself a girl who actually cares for you, not one that will just walk away for no good reason. What's with your attitude? That is so rude. I was trying to give you advice and you attacked me. Yeah, it's my fault my girlfriend left me. Thanks. You seem to know a lot about my life. Oh well, at least I know not to respond to you anymore.
Trialbyfire Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 There's a pattern here. Each time something happens, you take him back. So now, you're going to take him back after explicit texts, a form of cheating for some, deemed disrespectful by others. You've had so many problems and concerns about this guy and you've only been together for less than a year. Don't you feel you deserve better?
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted May 30, 2008 Author Posted May 30, 2008 There's a pattern here. Each time something happens, you take him back. So now, you're going to take him back after explicit texts, a form of cheating for some, deemed disrespectful by others. You've had so many problems and concerns about this guy and you've only been together for less than a year. Don't you feel you deserve better? hm....not sure if you're confusing me with someone else. We've been together for a year, and we've never broken up during that time.... Although, yes Ive had issues with feeling that he was taking me for granted...which after talking to him I felt was getting solved. Unfortunately this happened which made me see that it never did, and even he accepted it when we talked about it. Im exhausted....I dont want to think about it anymore....whatever happens happens...
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted May 30, 2008 Author Posted May 30, 2008 What's with your attitude? That is so rude. I was trying to give you advice and you attacked me. Yeah, it's my fault my girlfriend left me. Thanks. You seem to know a lot about my life. Oh well, at least I know not to respond to you anymore. Uh excuse me, Im not the one who wrote this. Have some self-respect or answered in such a snotty manner... You're done with him, if you love yourself Nothing is ever so black and white. I wish it was, I always thought it was....but life came to teach me it isnt, and it sucks. Otherwise, if i could truly say my bf was an a** as you called him, Id kicked him to the curb and never looked back. But I cant..and that hurts. And about your gf or u, no i dont know what happened, but if you have the same attitude with her as you do with me. Maybe you can look into that to see why she left you high and dry
kizik Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 Wow. This girl is a real brat, everyone. People who are frequent users of the site are writing her and trying to help her, and she's just being a snot. Saying things like "hm....not sure if you're confusing me with someone else.", disrespecting all of us. Listen you idiots, you whiny little fourteen year olds: don't ask for advice and then SH*T on everyone who cares enough to try to help your inbred a*s. We're not your DAD and it's not our fault you're such a B*TCH. So go do what you want, treat the losers in your life like ****. Because they will LET you. You're used to having your way, but that doesn't translate to places where people actually have brains. Go away. Stay away. You disgust me.
Author 4givrnt4gtr Posted May 30, 2008 Author Posted May 30, 2008 Wow. This girl is a real brat, everyone. People who are frequent users of the site are writing her and trying to help her, and she's just being a snot. Saying things like "hm....not sure if you're confusing me with someone else.", disrespecting all of us. Listen you idiots, you whiny little fourteen year olds: don't ask for advice and then SH*T on everyone who cares enough to try to help your inbred a*s. We're not your DAD and it's not our fault you're such a B*TCH. So go do what you want, treat the losers in your life like ****. Because they will LET you. You're used to having your way, but that doesn't translate to places where people actually have brains. Go away. Stay away. You disgust me. LOL! wow dude, chill. Its just a message board. and Trial, if it sounded condecending (which, honestly I dont think it did to a rational person, but just in case) it wasnt meant to be. I do think you got me confused with someone else. But anyway, back to the original thread. I've thought about a lot of things last night, and came to the conclusion that, as Caliguy said in another thread, when someone loves someone else they would do whatever it takes and put effort to be with them. Ive done what i could, so i guess now its the time where i back off and see what he does. And since i cant do anything about it, well i guess for now ill just continue moving on with my life. Cheers to ya all!!
Trialbyfire Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 hm....not sure if you're confusing me with someone else. We've been together for a year, and we've never broken up during that time.... Although, yes Ive had issues with feeling that he was taking me for granted...which after talking to him I felt was getting solved. Unfortunately this happened which made me see that it never did, and even he accepted it when we talked about it. Im exhausted....I dont want to think about it anymore....whatever happens happens... My apologies. You're right. I did confuse you with another member. In looking back at your threads, it's basically the consistent problems and concerns. I do understand the rubberbanding emotions since I've been cheated on but not the way you've experienced. In my situation, it was full-blown infidelity within the confines of marriage. It takes awhile to wean yourself off your love for the other person. One thing I will mention is that I'm so glad I did walk away, since it has afforded me the opportunity to find better people who I don't have this horrible history with. People who I can trust and respect. Every man I've ever historically walked away from (no cheating involved), I've never once regretted the decision in the long-term. Healthy relationships can only be beneficial to everyone involved. Drama relationships aren't worth it in the long run.
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