br0ken_w0lf Posted May 28, 2008 Posted May 28, 2008 Not really looking for advice here, this is more like confession So I had an occasion to meet up with an ex-girlfriend tonight (she is married and has a 2-year old) and she brought her daughter with her. My ex-gf and I dated for about 2 years, after which I ended it or, to be more accurate, she forced me to end it due to a lack of commitment on my part. The woman I met after her, I married; she (my wife) left last August and is now with someone else (if this is all too confusing, the short story is: I'm alone now ). Anyway, at one point tonight my ex-gf was off somewhere else and I found myself kneeling down in the sand, interacting with this perfect, beautiful, little girl. Suddenly, it hit me: Wow, I really f****** up when I let that relationship go. Though obviously nothing is for certain, I thought, "wow, this could have been my daughter... my wife... my life... etc.". Now, of course, I know this feeling is partly due to my current situation (I say partly because there were certainly times even when I was married where I wondered what my life would have been like had I stayed with my ex-gf) but, wow, I can't recall the last time I've been filled with so much regret. It really tore me up. Hell, as I left her house and walked up the street to my car, I had to choke back tears. The good thing is that I know she's had a better life by marrying the guy she has; she has more opportunities and is with someone who is ultimately more compatible (I never have felt - and still don't feel - like a complete person and I constantly wrestle with self-esteem issues). Anyone have any similar stories? And, ladies, if you were the woman in question, would you want to hear any of this? Because I have to admit, there is a part of me that just wants to say, "hey, this makes absolutely no difference now and I know you are better off for it, but I just wanted you to know that it was a mistake *for me* to have let you go".
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