orangesean Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 So nearly two months after my break up, I get these pangs of grief that subside and go away (for the most part) otherwise I'm fine. I'll usually find my mind wandering and then I'll remember something great about our relationship and the atmosphere. Sometimes I'll hear a song we listened to together and it all rushes back. I try not to spend long periods of time crying and try to hide my sadness with the utmost optimism. Somehow the newer girls I'm meeting or hanging out with lead me to thinking about her afterwards. The worst is when I have dreams about her. It's all sorts of different scenarios. Dreams where she becomes a huge slut, dreams where she tells me to leave me alone, dreams where she's crying and wants me back and I say no, and dreams where I'm begging her to take me back. I hate these nightmares I get and they usually leave me feeling horrible upon waking every morning, unless I have those lucky days where I don't remember my lucid dreams. But other than that I try to stay busy and hang around the people that make me happiest and do the things I love doing. I guess what I'm wondering, and I know there's all sorts of different opinions, is it bad to hide my thoughts about my ex? If I feel myself getting sad or indulging in a happy memory we had I try my hardest to set off alarms in my brain and rewire the memory or just think about something else. Make myself distracted. I don't know if that's supression or what? Is it healthy? I've had my fair share of grief but I don't know when enough is enough. I certainly don't want to feel sad and I'm trying extremely hard to fix my personality defects and reading tons of self help books on mood and healthy relationships. Sometimes even those lead me to remember a time when I was awful and go over the whole mistake I made... thus leaving me sad again. Some people seem to let their grief take hold, but I feel like I'll never get over her if I do that. What's everyone's experience? I'm mostly wondering from people who have already "moved on."
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