mistieyed Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 A little back story - I have been dating this guy for about 3 months now and things have been progressing, slowly, but surely. This is the first relationship I have been in where the guy was not a chatty individual, so it has all been quite new to me. I am trying to gauge whether he and I are on the same page (or for lack of a better phrase, to validate my thoughts that it appears that we are). I have never been in a relationship that progressed this slowly (and although I am beginning to think that is a good thing, being the analytical one, it is brutal on the brain). Recently, he has made funny/sweet possessive comments about me and have implied that he is mine as well, but he has not eluded to me being his "girlfriend" yet and I am wondering at what point men generally start thinking along those lines (especially the slower guys); at what point in the dating timeframe they label it, etc. he has also recently started calling me honey and sweetie, whereas he did not in the past. Also, do you have "the talk" to determine for sure things are moving as you think or do you suck it up and let it ride? Thanks for your thoughts.
Krytie TV Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Some guys want to be committed way before any woman ever knows about it. The problem is there are so many weirdos that freak out at the slightest mention of commitment that some of them feel they need to keep it quiet until the "socially appropriate" time, which in itself is a mystery never to be unfolded. So, if this is on your mind, be a big girl and talk about it with him. Three months is reasonable if you are expecting exclusivity. Never let it ride. Letting it ride is the same as living in denial, and usually leads to bad misunderstandings and bitterness.
Author mistieyed Posted May 27, 2008 Author Posted May 27, 2008 Some guys want to be committed way before any woman ever knows about it. The problem is there are so many weirdos that freak out at the slightest mention of commitment that some of them feel they need to keep it quiet until the "socially appropriate" time, which in itself is a mystery never to be unfolded. So, if this is on your mind, be a big girl and talk about it with him. Three months is reasonable if you are expecting exclusivity. Never let it ride. Letting it ride is the same as living in denial, and usually leads to bad misunderstandings and bitterness. it is funny you mentioned "big girl" because i always joke with my girlfriends about that as well. i am not avoiding talking to him, just didn't want to freak him out because i wanted validation (i am not the most patient person in the world myself). as i mentioned, the men i have dated in the past have been very open and verbal, this one is not at all. he is reserved and doesn't communicate well at all, but his actions are extremely sweet and generous. i feel as though i am dealing with a very genuine guy that has had little experience when it comes to relationships (mature relationships) and that things need to unfold slowly for him to feel comfortable, but it is causing me a bit of anxiety to not know.
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