Mydish1 Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 I've been on a few dates with this girl and usually when I suggest a day to hangout (usually on the weekend) or an activity to do, she normally doesn't say no. I hung out with her once this weekend so far and I suggested that we hangout this memorial day...since i don't get much holidays off from work. I thought it would be nice to go to the park and stuff - but she takes classes on weekdays. She didn't know whether she had class this memorial day, so i suggested if she didn't that we should hangout again...and she seemed pretty enthused about it. I told her to give me a call if she didn't have class to hangout, I didn't hear from her so i texted her to ask if she had class. Yes, she did happen to have class. And then shortly i texted her if she wanted to hangout afterwards. I didn't get a response from her in an hour, it was obvious it was a no. so i called up a couple of friends to hangout. It doesn't really irritate me that she didn't want to/couldn't hangout with me or the fact that she didn't respond with a simple no. Afterall we're not exclusive and she has no obligation to do anything. But having her not respond to me, I feel like a nobody to her. I also understand she's usually a quiet girl and may have a hard time saying no to people. Though usually I'm the one setting the dates and taking the initiative - how should i go about it from here?
Balthazar Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Not having a lady respond to a call is something that happens to every guy(or at least to every guy who is actively dating women). I used to be very absolute in such matters and would break off all contact, justifying my actions as "keeping my dignity intact" and so forth.... I no longer do this. If I am interested in a woman, I continue my pursuit until my goal is achieved or I get a message which is ,unquestioningly, negative. However, when a woman does not answer phone calls, she gets relegated from potential relationship material to Girl I'd just like to F@ck. My philosophy is that , now, all I want is to get into her pants, so what is a few extra phone calls and some sweet talk? I try to remain cool over the phone and hardly even mention past phone calls to her. Does this work? It works more often than you would expect, because the aloofness attracts women. An important aspect to remember is that you should be dating multiple women too if possible. This makes you fell less invested in your approach to one woman, and thus, immeasurably bolder and more confident. With this philosophy in mind, and considering she is a young woman(flakey to the extreme), you should continue your efforts. However, go out with other chicks;in fact, make sure she sees you with other women. Also, try to minimize phone contact;use personal invites instead. If you get 3-4 negatives of any kind from her though, move off. Interest is too low here or too much effort may be required. Hope this stuff helps, CHeers,
SpikeyChick Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 It works more often than you would expect, because the aloofness attracts women. An important aspect to remember is that you should be dating multiple women too if possible. This makes you fell less invested in your approach to one woman, and thus, immeasurably bolder and more confident. Oh, you are dangerous -you know your onions, dude. Chickas - watch out for this guy - he is coming to get you, the COOL way !!
fishtaco Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Yes, listen to Balthazar. Took me many years and many dumb mistakes to realize what he put down in his post. Of course in practice it'll take a bit more work; it's always easier said than done. But follow his advice. Try it until you get the hang of it.
Balthazar Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Oh, you are dangerous -you know your onions, dude. Chickas - watch out for this guy - he is coming to get you, the COOL way !! WHy thank you SpikeyCHick. It's my duty to please the booty:).
Balthazar Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Yes, listen to Balthazar. Took me many years and many dumb mistakes to realize what he put down in his post. Of course in practice it'll take a bit more work; it's always easier said than done. But follow his advice. Try it until you get the hang of it. Unfortunately, it took me years too(and I am still only passable). My late teens to mid 20's where spent walking and dating while clueless. My late 20's to early-mid 30's where spent in relationships. In my mid to late 30's(i am 37), I am dating again. Yes, it is more easily said than done. And it's always more difficult with the women we really dig. But, practice does make one good, if not perfect. CHeers,
Author Mydish1 Posted May 27, 2008 Author Posted May 27, 2008 Thanks for the replies, I know what you guys are saying. You're right I really should date other women. With this girl I like hanging out with her but the way that she is, it doesn't really bother me much. I would be alright if I didn't speak to her for a week or more, or if I dated other women. I can be aloof and indifferent about the situation. she's kind of a reserved stay at home girl type. And I understand that some people who've been single for awhile just get lazy when it comes to dating and going out of their way to make time for someone else other than themselves. Though a part of me is having doubts if whether she's going out with me because she wants to or because her mom wants her to. But after this I I'll consider leaving my options open, because it's mostly been me making the effort and doing the chasing w/o much work on her side.
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