sweetbutcheeky Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 There is a friend of a friend I kinda liked and recently he went out of his way to give my friend his email address to give to me. We chatted once (short chat - We didn't chat about much, where I lived, where his cottage was that kinda thing) and he was going away for the weekend and was looking forward to chatting when he got back. Week goes by and still no word from him. Why go threw the trouble then disappear?
Replicant Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 There is a friend of a friend I kinda liked and recently he went out of his way to give my friend his email address to give to me. We chatted once (short chat - We didn't chat about much, where I lived, where his cottage was that kinda thing) and he was going away for the weekend and was looking forward to chatting when he got back. Week goes by and still no word from him. Why go threw the trouble then disappear? Don't read into these things so much. He could be up at the cottage for all you know. Many possibilities really. If he did flake out, just take it for what it is applied to the person. Instead of blasting the entire gender for the actions of a few.
carhill Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Sounds like a decade of my life some 20 years ago, except the gender roles were reversed. Still love women Back then it mattered, much as I'm hearing from you. Life experience taught me to have a different perspective....
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted May 27, 2008 Author Posted May 27, 2008 Don't read into these things so much. He could be up at the cottage for all you know. Many possibilities really. If he did flake out, just take it for what it is applied to the person. Instead of blasting the entire gender for the actions of a few. I don't see how I blasted a entire gender, that's just one example. It's still a fact that I don't understand anything I do. Comes down to we speak different languages, men are from mars ... however you want to look like it. He was just going for the weekend. Sounds like a decade of my life some 20 years ago, except the gender roles were reversed. Still love women Back then it mattered, much as I'm hearing from you. Life experience taught me to have a different perspective.... Doesn't really matter, just shows what is meant to be or not. I just wondered why bother getting it passed on if your not going to bother to use it.
carhill Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Slow Mem Day? It mattered enough to post here Short hypothetical? Ego feed. Watch for round two
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted May 27, 2008 Author Posted May 27, 2008 Slow Mem Day? It mattered enough to post here Short hypothetical? Ego feed. Watch for round two Just cause I posted it doesn't really mean it mattered! lol Just bored and was curious on input. (slow but we don't have mem day today in Canada lol) As for the rest I don't know what your talking about! LOL
Krytie TV Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Is it hard to consider that maybe he wasn't impressed with your conversations and decided he just wasn't interested? I know that's harder to imagine, but why would that make it his problem? That's what getting to know someone is for.
Trialbyfire Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 That's okay, men don't understand themselves either. They just kind of do whatever they feel like doing at the moment. Since I'm a woman, I have no idea what's going through his mind. Best guess, perhaps he met someone else during the weekend.
fishtaco Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Women do this same thing too. I'm sure for the same reasons.
Shades Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 How about he is just not into you. Or maybe he is making himself hard to get, and it seems to be working on you. Believe me, women are no easy read either. Good luck to you!!!!
Trialbyfire Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 I was waiting for the male comments. It's true! The genders will never truly understand what the hell is going on in each other's minds. Edit - Anyone who believes they completely understand the opposite sex is a tad arrogant, considering how different each individual can be, nvm the blanket generalities per gender.
SpikeyChick Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 There is a friend of a friend I kinda liked and recently he went out of his way to give my friend his email address to give to me. ? There is the clue - "he gave my friend his email address to give to me." Two possibilities here. 1. He is expecting you to contact him (and is still waitng) 2. Is rather indifferent toward you in that he did not pursue you strongly by getting YOUR contact details so that he knew FOR SURE how to contact you. I am guessing that the second explanation fits the best, unless he was eaten by a bear or drowned in the lake .. This guy has low interest level and probably has other options..it happens a lot with good guys.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted May 27, 2008 Author Posted May 27, 2008 Is it hard to consider that maybe he wasn't impressed with your conversations and decided he just wasn't interested? I know that's harder to imagine, but why would that make it his problem? That's what getting to know someone is for. I did think about that but since he found me on msn a few mins before he was leaving the house there really wasn't must time for a conversation. Women do this same thing too. I'm sure for the same reasons. I'm sure they do, though was asking about guys cause it was a guy in this situation and I'm into guys! How about he is just not into you. Or maybe he is making himself hard to get, and it seems to be working on you. Believe me, women are no easy read either. Good luck to you!!!! Well this was weeks ago and no not working on me. It just got me thinking the other day after I was talking to my friend (who he gave the email to) who had asked me what happened with the 2 of us. LOL Thanks
fishtaco Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 I'm sure they do, though was asking about guys cause it was a guy in this situation and I'm into guys! LOL, I know, I wasn't trying to convince you to go bi. I meant whatever reasons women have for disappearing, which being a woman, I'm sure you understand it from your perspective -- it's pretty much the same for men. So think back when you did the same thing to some dude, transplant that reason to this guy's reason, and it'll probably be similar. Or if you're a saint and you've never done anything like this, then think back to when one of your girlfriends did this.
Karyyk Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Maybe it has something to do with the fact that, generally speaking, most men are told to never look too eager or interested, to play it cool. I've done the opposite, as I'm not built for game-playing, and it doesn't seem to work too well...apparently doing what you say you're going to do makes you appear to be "eager," and therefore, too nice (aka, not datable). I don't think guys are the only ones who are hard to understand...
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted May 27, 2008 Author Posted May 27, 2008 LOL, I know, I wasn't trying to convince you to go bi. I meant whatever reasons women have for disappearing, which being a woman, I'm sure you understand it from your perspective -- it's pretty much the same for men. So think back when you did the same thing to some dude, transplant that reason to this guy's reason, and it'll probably be similar. Or if you're a saint and you've never done anything like this, then think back to when one of your girlfriends did this. No I haven't. I mean I'm sure everyone said they would call and never did, I have as well. But that wasn't what I was asking, what I haven't done is gone out of my way to contact someone then not continue to talk to them. I'm not sure if any of my friends have, but I see what your saying. Though I'm sure everyone has different reasons male or female which you may never know. (cause you never talked to them again! lol) Maybe it has something to do with the fact that, generally speaking, most men are told to never look too eager or interested, to play it cool. I've done the opposite, as I'm not built for game-playing, and it doesn't seem to work too well...apparently doing what you say you're going to do makes you appear to be "eager," and therefore, too nice (aka, not datable). I don't think guys are the only ones who are hard to understand... Not disputing that woman are hard to understand, we both don't understand each other. Speak different languages or so it seems. Something I heard this morning. A woman needed to talk to her man, he didn't want to talk then. She took that as he didn't want to talk about the problem. When he just didn't want to talk at that moment. Though he didn't tell her that, that was the translation the relationship educator gave. Things like that happen both ways so I think we need to explain more what we mean and not assume the other person will get it (read our minds).
Replicant Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 That's okay, men don't understand themselves either. They just kind of do whatever they feel like doing at the moment. Since I'm a woman, I have no idea what's going through his mind. Best guess, perhaps he met someone else during the weekend. I believe the above poster here must have had a brief testosterone spike in her system for that momentary bit of male clarity!
Trialbyfire Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 I believe the above poster here must have had a brief testosterone spike in her system for that momentary bit of male clarity! No, no, it was a guess. Really. Don't you dare try to pin it on me. :p
Replicant Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 I don't see how I blasted a entire gender, that's just one example. It's still a fact that I don't understand anything I do. Comes down to we speak different languages, men are from mars ... however you want to look like it. My point in you invest too much energy trying to decipher them...Don't!... Then you seem to internalize it as fault of your own. Try not thinking that way, as maybe he said he was going for just the weekend then decided to spend a few more days there because Monday was warm for example. Many possible reasons actually, by no means of disrespect. But considering this is just initial brief conversation that has materialized, you shouldn't let it manifest into drama. Like anything else let it play out, actions will follow his words...if he wants them to.
Author sweetbutcheeky Posted May 28, 2008 Author Posted May 28, 2008 My point in you invest too much energy trying to decipher them...Don't!... Then you seem to internalize it as fault of your own. Try not thinking that way, as maybe he said he was going for just the weekend then decided to spend a few more days there because Monday was warm for example. Many possible reasons actually, by no means of disrespect. But considering this is just initial brief conversation that has materialized, you shouldn't let it manifest into drama. Like anything else let it play out, actions will follow his words...if he wants them to. Maybe it's a woman thing, if you don't understand something then you try and figure it out, to understand. In this case didn't internalize or let anything get dramatic. I left it in his court, if he contact me great. If he never does, life goes on. Doesn't really matter either way, just wasn't meant to be. No drama. Since my friend has asked me how it was going with us and I told him what happened it refreshed my memory. So I posted the question. No drama, as simple as that.
SpikeyChick Posted May 28, 2008 Posted May 28, 2008 Maybe it's a woman thing, if you don't understand something then you try and figure it out, to understand. In this case didn't internalize or let anything get dramatic. I left it in his court, if he contact me great. If he never does, life goes on. Doesn't really matter either way, just wasn't meant to be. No drama. Since my friend has asked me how it was going with us and I told him what happened it refreshed my memory. So I posted the question. No drama, as simple as that. Why not contact him ? Somebady has to go first.
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