foxh1234 Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Hi everyone. I have been playing guitar and writing songs for over 20 years. I had been working on a song for the last 8 months and my ex GF really loved it and made me promise to email her the recording when I finished it. Well as you know we are broken up and I just finished the song this morning. I recorded it and was listening to it and it hit me what I had promised to do. I have been in strict NC for over a month and didn't want to break it. After sitting here thinking about it, I decided to email her the recording but I didn't say a word in the email. When she opens it it will just be the recording and nothing from me. I also will not respond if she emails me back. I do not want to talk to her, believe me. I just felt like I had promised and I always keep my word. How bad did I screw up ? Any opinions ? I don't feel bad about it at all and it did not seem like a big deal. I hope I feel the same tomorrow. Thanks in advance
LikeCharlotte Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 I think that was very nice of you. If she responds just tell her that for your own healing you need to remain NC but you wanted to keep your word and thought she would appreciate it. Be brief and be honest.
Author foxh1234 Posted May 27, 2008 Author Posted May 27, 2008 I think that was very nice of you. If she responds just tell her that for your own healing you need to remain NC but you wanted to keep your word and thought she would appreciate it. Be brief and be honest. Thanks LC, I didn't plan on responding at all. I sent the song and that's all I promised. You think I'm better off saying something ?
kizik Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Hey bro, my take is to just send the song and ignore any potential response. Like you said, you don't want to talk to her. But my other take is that yes, you said you'd sent it, but how much of that sh*t goes out the window once the R is over? I mean, I said I'd move in w/ my ex... haha... Anyway, I've heard your tunes and they rock. I am sure she's proud of you, but she f*cked up and she's not allowed into that world anymore, it seems.
LikeCharlotte Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Thanks LC, I didn't plan on responding at all. I sent the song and that's all I promised. You think I'm better off saying something ? Is she aware that you are doing NC? She will probably say something about the song. Don't be cryptic, be honest and brief. It is not necessary to be weird about it since she probably was expecting it. I actually hope she does respond because it is an awful feeling when the ex doesn't respond and you expect it (at least a little, no?). IMO you did the right thing. I was painting something that I wanted my ex to see. I will never show him or invite him to my show. It makes me very sad to think he will never see what he has inspired but he initiated NC (in is own way). I think you did the right thing.
Author foxh1234 Posted May 27, 2008 Author Posted May 27, 2008 Is she aware that you are doing NC? She will probably say something about the song. Don't be cryptic, be honest and brief. It is not necessary to be weird about it since she probably was expecting it. I actually hope she does respond because it is an awful feeling when the ex doesn't respond and you expect it (at least a little, no?). IMO you did the right thing. I was painting something that I wanted my ex to see. I will never show him or invite him to my show. It makes me very sad to think he will never see what he has inspired but he initiated NC (in is own way). I think you did the right thing. Hi, she knows I am doing NC, I told her before I started that it was too hard to be friends and I had to cut off contact. I don't really feel like I broke NC because I didn't say a word in the email, just sent the song as I promised. She won't respond and that's fine by me, really. I am doing great and this little song is not going to set me back by any means.
mollers Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Foxh, for what it's worth, I think you should go with your gut instinct and not respond to any contact.
Author foxh1234 Posted May 27, 2008 Author Posted May 27, 2008 Hi, she responded and I sent back a your welcome. I feel terrible now. How can something so simple and small have a negative effect on me ? I made a mistake sending her anything, I won't do it again.
mollers Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Foxh, sorry you are feeling terrible now as you have been so positive over the last couple of days. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise, you've done it, realised it was the wrong thing to do, and it has been a make or break moment. When I contacted my ex in a last ditch attempt to save things, I knew it would either help, or backfire on me if I didn't get the response I'd hoped for. The call didn't work and it gave me a bit of a kick up the backside in a way. I hope that you don't dwell on it too long - you can't take back what you've done and now you've sent the song as promised, you have no more promises to keep. Now get on that golf course
Author foxh1234 Posted May 27, 2008 Author Posted May 27, 2008 Foxh, sorry you are feeling terrible now as you have been so positive over the last couple of days. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise, you've done it, realised it was the wrong thing to do, and it has been a make or break moment. When I contacted my ex in a last ditch attempt to save things, I knew it would either help, or backfire on me if I didn't get the response I'd hoped for. The call didn't work and it gave me a bit of a kick up the backside in a way. I hope that you don't dwell on it too long - you can't take back what you've done and now you've sent the song as promised, you have no more promises to keep. Now get on that golf course Hi, your right, I won't feel bad for long. This just showed me how contact with her can affect me. It seems crazy that a few words through email can have me feeling like we just broke up. Man, emotions are really complicated, lol. I did what I promised and that's all. Back to NC and the light at the end of the tunnel. I think I might play golf today, since you mentioned it,
mollers Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Hi, your right, I won't feel bad for long. This just showed me how contact with her can affect me. It seems crazy that a few words through email can have me feeling like we just broke up. Man, emotions are really complicated, lol. Yep, emotions are a b**ch! If my ex's name popped up in my email box I think I'd burst into tears! I saw a car that I thought was his the other day and my stomach went through the floor, weird feeling.....and it wasn't even him (for which I'm thankful). Enjoy your golf, I for one am sat at my desk at work (obviously working in between posting! Lol). Take care.
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