PhoenixFromTheFlames Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 I have only had to initiate NC once. My ex-ex wouldn't leave me alone, constantly declaring undying love for months after the split. I had to stop responding to him for his own good. To this day I still get messages from him telling me he wants another chance, but I haven't responded at all in over 3 years. I will never go back, we can't be friends, the kindest thing I could do was disappear. I never gave him any hope of reconcilliation, but there were only so many ways of saying No before I realised he just wasn't listening. I still feel bad about it, we were together 3.5 years, and now we'll never speak again, but I didn't feel like I had a choice. I think it was the right thing to do for him. It would have been selfish of me to try and make him a friend when he clearly couldn't handle it. Now that my current ex is NCing me, I feel lousy. I'm not sure if it is NC exactly, but as the dumpee, I don't think it's my place to initiate any contact. I would respond to any contact he made though, but there has been very little and now he's off the grid again. It makes me sad because at one point he wanted to spend his life with me, and now, he doesn't even want to keep in touch at all. It does make me feel like the whole time we had together is worthless. But, I don't know his motivations, maybe he thinks this way is kinder? Who knows if he'll ever resurface again but his lack of compassion, just disappearing overnight, do make me wonder if I ever really knew him.
critter909 Posted June 12, 2008 Posted June 12, 2008 I think it depends on your circumstances. If you only dated a few months then it may be better just to go NC, get it over with. But if you have been with someone for years it seems cruel. My bf is doing it to me now, at first he contacted me about things we needed to take care of etc. but then nothing, I initiated contact a couple of times but that didn't go anywhere. Now I am not trying either. Just like Charlotte, I feel so hurt, after 10 years of talking to each other at least once a day we went to nothing in a week. After so much time you are more than just lovers, I really depended on him. It feels horrible to think he doesn't give a sh*t what happens to me.
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