sedgwick Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 ...or several things! I know there are a lot of us who can hardly bear the thought of being with someone else, even in the far future, but at the very least we can learn from our last relationships. So: list a few things you learned from your most recent bf/gf that you will have to have in order to date someone again. Also, list a few things you won't put up with. We might as well at least see our failed relationships as learning experiences, right? The things I won't put up with next time: 1. Bad personal hygiene 2. Neglect of one's body and health 3. Inability to focus on or appreciate anything outside one's own sphere of interest The things I have to have in my next partner (if I ever decide I want one, which is doubtful at this point): 1. An understanding of the importance of physical activity, and a willingness to do some sort of exercise with me -- riding bikes, dancing, even just going for a walk in the evenings. I don't need him to be a jock, I just need him to respect and take care of his body. 2. Someone who doesn't smoke cigarettes (at least around me) 3. Someone who can express himself in writing 4. Someone who likes to read and talk about books 5. Someone who is interested in and respects what I do Okay, what are yours?
motive2002 Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 I would like some very basic things: Honesty. Compassion. Empathy. Respect for others' opinions. Good communication skills without getting defensive. Just a few off the top of my head.
Nevermind Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 I would like to be loved. Hahaha, just kidding. Must not get carried away. Maybe not despised and ridiculed. Maybe. If that were possible.
underpants Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 Good for you Sedge. Looking ahead is a good thing. What else do you want? My so far has: Good communication. Even with uncomfortable issues. Empathy. Kindness from a core of strength. Honesty. The ability to perform the heimlich maneuver correctly. Patience.
marlena Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 Integrity. Intelligence. Passion. A witty sense of humour.
Kamille Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 oooh I like all your traits. I used to say I wanted him to be passionate about what he does. Now I want him to be passionate about life. Respectful of my boundaries and beliefs. and is willing to cherish what we share. Definitely will try to avoid second-hand smoke. Oddly enough, I think I could handle 5 drinks a day, but would prefer not to have to deal with that, if I could.
Lizzie60 Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 Hum.. I would like to have what I had the last time.. (well almost all of it) He was: - rich and generous - good looking - great personality - intelligent - adored me, I was his queen And this is what I don't want again: - young kids or teens - someone with a crazy ex
BiAxident Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 The "No-No" List 1) Poor diet/exercise habits 2) Lack of friends/interests outside of the relationship The "Must-Haves" 1) Intelligence 2) Witty sense of humor 3) Friends and/or interests outside of the relationship 4) A career (not a "job")
wowIlose Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 What I want: Loyalty Personality (Energetic, but not hyper active..) A girl who takes care of herself, doesn't have to be a model, but someone who is healthy and cares about her body but isn't materialistic. What I dont want: A liar Super fake, someone that wears 10 pounds of make up and needs a BMW to roll in to feel comfortable.. Someone who only cares about partying Someone who is way to into politics, hugging trees, saving the environment or is against eating meat and drinking milk Not to say that you can't think those things are important but some people just take these things way to far.
BiAxident Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 Someone who is way to into politics, hugging trees, saving the environment or is against eating meat and drinking milk Agaisnt eating meat? Ouch. My ex-gf refused to eat vegetables other than corn and potatos, which was a concern for me as it pertained to her long-term health. But, no meat? Damn that's rough!
foxh1234 Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 The only thing right now that seems important would be honesty. Without it, nothing else matters, IMO.
wowIlose Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 Thats what I don't want.. someone whos against eating meat.. you know a full fledged vegetarian lol... It would be to difficult to date someone and constantly attend to their desires, not to mention she would be turned of if I had a steak or some chicken and I would most likely get annoyed eventually if all she decided to eat was green peas.. just wouldn't work lol
Nemo Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 The only thing right now that seems important would be a tight anus. Without it, nothing else matters, IMO.
foxh1234 Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 The only thing right now that seems important would be a tight anus. Without it, nothing else matters, IMO. LMAO!!!!:laugh:
Trialbyfire Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 The things I won't put up with next time: InconsistencyWithdrawalSelfishness The things I have to have in my next partner: HonestyIntegrityMoral fibreI could put up a massive list for what I have to have for my next partner so instead of boring everyone with it, I just listed my top 3.
Ariadne Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 Post one thing you want in your next partner... I want Denver guy :( Because he and I have the spirit.
sunshinegirl Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 *sigh* Must-Have: Self-Reflective Communicative Honest Integrity Interesting/has a life he is passionate about But I want those things in an attractive, athletic package. And I fear I will have to give up the "icing" I want to get the "cake" I need. (Someone please tell me I don't have to give up the outdoorsy athlete part!) Can't Have: Shallow Over-quiet Ambivalent
LikeCharlotte Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 The thing I want most is strength. I need someone who isn't scared off by every little (or big) thing. I want to know that if life gets hard the person I chose to share it with will not run away. That is the only thing Ive gained from this experience.
sunshinegirl Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 The thing I want most is strength. I need someone who isn't scared off by every little (or big) thing. I want to know that if life gets hard the person I chose to share it with will not run away. That is the only thing Ive gained from this experience. Ugh, that's good. I want that too. No more runners!!!!
LikeCharlotte Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 Ugh, that's good. I want that too. No more runners!!!! I wish I could find a way to recognize runners before it is too late. I've been putting a lot of thought into this and I haven't come up with anything yet.
Author sedgwick Posted May 27, 2008 Author Posted May 27, 2008 Post one thing you want in your next partner... I want Denver guy :( Because he and I have the spirit. Ariadne, you have really given me a tough time for still mourning my relationship. Why do you think you're still mourning yours? The thing I want most is strength. I need someone who isn't scared off by every little (or big) thing. I want to know that if life gets hard the person I chose to share it with will not run away. That is the only thing Ive gained from this experience. I hear ya!!!!
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