tikster Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 hello all, i recently transferred to a great 4 year uni after a horrible and on-off relationship which left me scarred. i met another guy in feb and we started seeing eachother for about two months. all this time i know he was busy with school and so was i, but i felt like he wasn't showing me enough interest. i was patient for over a month. i wasn't looking for huge declarations of love, but at least some flirting or something ya kno? but he seemed to hold back or something. so after two months i felt uneasy esp the last day he asked me to "hang out" via text. i never hung out with him instead i replied to his text saying that i felt like we were awkward outside of his apartment and that i liked him but didn't feel that he felt the same way and i felt dumb. also, if he wasn't interested that maybe we should end it but i would like to talk about it, then no reply. i felt bad about sending that so i called him the next day to talk face to face he said yea we should talk in person and to call him w a time that i could talk. to spare details, we didn't talk. after bout 5 days later he sent me a facebook email after i sent him a letter after his ignoring me all week, stating that he in fact does like me but has too much work this school quarter and it wasnt fair to me. also that he felt like there was a tension bw us because we didn't know each othertoo well but at the same time he didn't have the time to spend with me. i was hurt mostly because he ignored me all weekend and even partied w his friends and sent a facebook email breakup. i never replied to his email and haven't had contact w him since. i even recently deleted him from my friends list after seeing numerous pics of that weekend in question. i'm moving on and even went on a date w someone, but still think about this guy alot. i feel like it was left sooo undone. we hadn't seen eachother for two weeks before he sent the break up email. so no contact going on over a month. my roommate tells me i;m strong for that. but i still feel crummy going back and forth of whether he was sincere bout his reasons and if he did like me. but then again he left me so he must not have really cared and if he did he would do or have done something bout it. i told him that i liked him, but i was just not getting anything from him. maybe i screwed it up:(
Ssheena Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 Nope, I don't think you screwed up. I think the relationship just wasn't right for either of you. Be glad it's over and move on. You didn't put too much into it and you sure didn't get much out of it. 2 months? Were you boyfriend/girlfriend or just f* buddies? You didn't feel like you were getting what you wanted out of the relationship, told him you thought you should end it and he didn't get back in touch with you. Sounds like it just fizzled out. Chalk it up to experience and figure out what you do want with the next guy and don't settle for anything less.
Author tikster Posted May 26, 2008 Author Posted May 26, 2008 yea i guess it wasn't for the best. i mean when we were together he was very attentive and wanted me to sleep over his apartment even w/o sex and waited for me. i even asked him if he wanted to continue at one point because i am black and he is white and i knew from experience that the family would not approve and he said he did. we weren't official, but it seemed as though we were working towards getting closer, but i guess i was wrong and was just an f buddy to him. cuz he was fine w everything til i brought my concerns up and he wouldn't even hear me out in person. i just wish we could've talked in person cuz it seemed like we could talk to eachother about our issues before, but he just completely shut down on me.
Ssheena Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 That would have been the best but if he didn't have the common curtesy or backbone to discuss it, that just says something else about him as well. You can hold your head high because you knew you weren't getting what you wanted, you took steps to address it and voice your concerns and he couldn't deal with it. He's not worth anymore of your time. It's too bad race and religion still play a part in people's decisions. I wish you the best of luck. Hold out for a good guy!
CanisLatrans Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 I’ve had significant others break up with me a couple of times not in person, and it’s always been emotionally unsettling. However, in the end I think that it reveals something in that person’s character that saved me a lot of frustration in the long run. It shows how childish they are, and how their opinion is irrelevant. However, just because someone isn’t reciprocating doesn’t mean that you are not a tremendous person and that it won’t work out better the next time.
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