sb129 Posted May 28, 2008 Posted May 28, 2008 Get ready for a lot of frequent flier miles. ZIcke is correct, the INS literature is just that - literature. Not really based in reality. My uncle got married 3 years ago and about 2 weeks ago we finally got word that his wife can move to the US. Talk about frequent flier miles. Scotland is beautiful. I was engaged to a man from Scotland 3 years ago. Didn't work out. Long story short, after we split up I heard that he almost immediately got married to some woman in hong kong, I think it was. Turns out he desperately wanted out of Scotland to weasel out of a substantial amount of credit card debt. He moved out of the country and just stopped paying, never to return. Whoa. That is TOO spooky Blind_Otter. Cue Twilight Zone music. BTW, Zicke, forgot to say, thanks for your posts, they were interesting.
Mary3 Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 Get ready for a lot of frequent flier miles. ZIcke is correct, the INS literature is just that - literature. Not really based in reality. My uncle got married 3 years ago and about 2 weeks ago we finally got word that his wife can move to the US. Talk about frequent flier miles. Scotland is beautiful. I was engaged to a man from Scotland 3 years ago. Didn't work out. Long story short, after we split up I heard that he almost immediately got married to some woman in hong kong, I think it was. Turns out he desperately wanted out of Scotland to weasel out of a substantial amount of credit card debt. He moved out of the country and just stopped paying, never to return. READ this OP ! Read it and decide if you still want this stranger with a boatload of DEBT ! What a horrible way to start off a marraige....
Leia Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 I don't know, people. She seems to know what she is getting herself into. She's done her research and.... they are IN LOVE. What more could a girl need?!?
Krisa Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 Turns out he desperately wanted out of Scotland to weasel out of a substantial amount of credit card debt. He moved out of the country and just stopped paying, never to return. I really don't think that is the case. He still has family in Scotland his mum who doesn't live very far from where he does. He's very close to his mum. We have also talked to the bank and his bank is also a bank here in the US same bank different name ( the RBS is citizens bank here in the US. He wants to transfer the loan here...that way we don't have to bother with the UK US exchange rate. Since the US dollar is pretty crap compared to the UK pound.
Krisa Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 So today my fiancé and I talked about...what is to come... We are going to go ahead with the prenup. I will contact a lawyer next week. If anyone has in suggestions of this...I would greatly appreciate it. We agree that we needed to protect each other from our debt, especially in the case that something (god forbid) would happen to one of us. and no matter how much I don't want to think about it...we talked about what would become of things in the event of a divorce. I need help with this, because I do want to be fair. My ex got the houses...and I put a lot of money in those houses, and walked away with furniture, nothing that added up to what we put into the house. I really want to be equal..and also I don't want to feel that this isn't his home. I know what it's like to live in a house...and feel so detached, and I really don't want that for us. I like the fact the only history I have in this house is the thought of him and I together and I look forward to making many more memories.... Thank you everyone for your advise... I'm kinda struggling with what to put in the pernup...I want to protect myself but also be fair...and I don't know what to do in the event of children....(prenup wise that is, i know how to take care of a child, lol)
Krisa Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 Yes but his driving and credit record will affect yours ? Does he have a good driving record and good credit ? it wont affect me... it wont transfer over from the UK. You got your house pretty cheap . Sounds great , living in the country.... My sister was my Realtor, and I got a hell of a deal... It needed some work, but doing just a little added equity in the home. I love it out here...only two houses on my road and you can't see the neighbors from my house, very peaceful... I also love the style of the house, very unique. Is the country he lives in fair( equal ) to US dollars ?. Meaning if you make 45k what will he likely make here in the US ? the us dollar is crap the exchange rate is about $2.00 US = 1 UK pound and things are much more expensive in the UK then in the US. If we would move to the UK to where my fiancé lives a cheap house goes for about 150,000 pounds thats $300,000 US. I think the smart choice is to live in the US...we will be able to get ahead on our finances much easier.
Krisa Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 I don't know, people. She seems to know what she is getting herself into. She's done her research and.... they are IN LOVE. What more could a girl need?!? Thank you so much... We are in love and very happy...
Author TMichaels Posted May 29, 2008 Author Posted May 29, 2008 So today my fiancé and I talked about...what is to come...We are going to go ahead with the prenup. I will contact a lawyer next week. If anyone has in suggestions of this...I would greatly appreciate it. We agree that we needed to protect each other from our debt, especially in the case that something (god forbid) would happen to one of us. and no matter how much I don't want to think about it...we talked about what would become of things in the event of a divorce. I need help with this, because I do want to be fair. My ex got the houses...and I put a lot of money in those houses, and walked away with furniture, nothing that added up to what we put into the house. I really want to be equal..and also I don't want to feel that this isn't his home. I know what it's like to live in a house...and feel so detached, and I really don't want that for us. I like the fact the only history I have in this house is the thought of him and I together and I look forward to making many more memories.... Thank you everyone for your advise... I'm kinda struggling with what to put in the pernup...I want to protect myself but also be fair...and I don't know what to do in the event of children....(prenup wise that is, i know how to take care of a child, lol) Krisa, You alone shouldn't be deciding what's in any prenuptial agreement that's drafted. The whole purpose of one is for the couple to mutually agree how your affairs will be handled in the event you are no longer a couple. Though you may want an attorney to advise you, remember the real reason you're consulting one in the first place is to put what you and your betrothed agree upon in high-priced legalese that will stand up in court if it's needed. Not only will discussing and deciding what you two want to happen in advance be good for your relationship, it will also save BOTH of you considerable expense when it comes time to draft the document itself. So, how to get started? Both of you should write down what you two believe or want in plain English. If you plan on an arrangement where you each take what you brought in and split everything else afterward for example, it helps to have those details hammered out in advance instead of having the clock ticking away on expensive legal counsel while you and your spouse-to-be come to an agreement on the basics. Once you and your partner-to-be have come to an agreement, each of you need to engage a family law counselor to draw up the specifics in a legal instrument. You need separate attorneys so that each of your interests are being represented -- in fact, in some states if this is not done, the agreement is not binding. A prenuptial agreement is enforceable as long as both parties have made fair and reasonable disclosure of their finances and have entered into the agreement voluntarily. This means both of you will have to gather/provide/document your financial details/assets/liabilities and disclose them to each other and your legal counsel as part of the process in drawing up the premarital agreement. Don't be too paranoid whether you're remembering every little detail or getting everything right for all eternity (i.e. what to do about children, if you're unsure right now). You CAN revise a prenup -- it's flexibility is one of its selling points. In fact, you should revise it every couple of years to keep it current, as like everything in life, things change. As far as how to find an attorney? I can't remember what state you said in which you reside, but a good starting point would be to check the State Bar member listing for your state (most are on-line) and look for an attorney in your area that specializes or at least has considerable experience in Family Law and Prenuptial/Premarital Agreements. If you want some guidance or to gather information before you and your H2B proceed in drafting an agreement, it probably would be a good idea for you to obtain a "consultation" with the attorney of your choice. "Consultations" are done on a "set-fee" basis, rather than on a retainer and are usually the most cost-effective way to get advice. You aren't locked into using the firm if you don't wish to have them handle preparing any subsequent documents, and *sometimes* a firm will take into consideration the fact you had an initial consultation with them when compiling your final bill. Anyway, glad to hear you and your partner have given some additional thought to the importance of having consensus on your affairs before you tie the knot. Sounds like both of you have been burned in the past, so of all people, you should understand more than many how painful not only in personal terms but financial ones as well, a parting of ways can be. All the more reason for you to be prudent this time around... All the best, TMichaels
Mary3 Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 You are in the infatuation stage : You know the birds sing a little sweeter , the sun shines a little brighter , the world is a beautiful place with him in it... Well the infatuation stage will end. And then you are left with who he really is. Are you SURE you want to move , or him move , knowing that you don't really KNOW him and MARRY him ? Sounds pretty frightening...
blind_otter Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 I really don't think that is the case. He still has family in Scotland his mum who doesn't live very far from where he does. He's very close to his mum. Oh my ex was very close to his mother as well - they actually shared a flat above a pub that his uncle owned, where both he and his mother worked. He was also close to his 4 cousins, which I did meet, and of course the aunt and uncle who owned that pub, along with several others in the area. I'm not saying that this is what your fiance is doing, just relating my story and experience. We have also talked to the bank and his bank is also a bank here in the US same bank different name ( the RBS is citizens bank here in the US. He wants to transfer the loan here...that way we don't have to bother with the UK US exchange rate. Since the US dollar is pretty crap compared to the UK pound. Huh. I had no idea RBS was citizen's bank - I thought credit history and debt did not transfer to different countries? I guess it's all for the best that my ex and I did not get married, as he would have ended up facing his debt here as well? According to him, last time we spoke (which admittedly was years ago) he was not liable for his debt as long as he got citizenship in China.
sb129 Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 We have also talked to the bank and his bank is also a bank here in the US same bank different name ( the RBS is citizens bank here in the US. He wants to transfer the loan here.... I assume you will transfer that after he gets a job in the US so he can pay for it? Once its in the US, it can affect his credit history there too. i still can't believe that his abysmal financial history isn't a big red flag for you. it would be one thing if he had incurred the debt and was making it right, but this isn't even his debt. We are going to go ahead with the prenup. I will contact a lawyer next week. If anyone has in suggestions of this...I would greatly appreciate it. Well that is progress. Congratulations. Put in it that his debt is his responsibility and his alone. Not sure what to say about your house but a lawyer can advise you on that. Keep it in your name at least. Agree that you won't try to make any claims on his properties. Good luck with that, I think its a very sensible idea.
Mary3 Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 Oh my ex was very close to his mother as well - they actually shared a flat above a pub that his uncle owned, where both he and his mother worked. He was also close to his 4 cousins, which I did meet, and of course the aunt and uncle who owned that pub, along with several others in the area. I'm not saying that this is what your fiance is doing, just relating my story and experience. Huh. I had no idea RBS was citizen's bank - I thought credit history and debt did not transfer to different countries? I guess it's all for the best that my ex and I did not get married, as he would have ended up facing his debt here as well? According to him, last time we spoke (which admittedly was years ago) he was not liable for his debt as long as he got citizenship in China. What ?? Then this means OP's bf will not be liable for his debt in his own country if he moves to another one ?
blind_otter Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 What ?? Then this means OP's bf will not be liable for his debt in his own country if he moves to another one ? I meant, he wasn't liable in China for his debt in Scotland.
sb129 Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 What ?? Then this means OP's bf will not be liable for his debt in his own country if he moves to another one ? Generally, yes. He will still be "liable" for the debt in his own country, but if he isn't living there, it will be difficult for the bank to force him to pay it back. Most banks won't chase you internationally for debt, because often it costs them more to track you down than it does for them to write off the debt. The tax man will chase you to every corner of the globe though!
Mary3 Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 Generally, yes. He will still be "liable" for the debt in his own country, but if he isn't living there, it will be difficult for the bank to force him to pay it back. Most banks won't chase you internationally for debt, because often it costs them more to track you down than it does for them to write off the debt. The tax man will chase you to every corner of the globe though! So....while he still may be * liable * for the debt , if he leaves it all behind then while in another country he pays nothing ? ( except for the tax man ) I don't know the tax laws in other countries but are they as stringent as the IRS in America ?
canadian_guy Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 Krisa I just want to say CONGRATS and wish you all the best, hope everything works out great!!! CG
sb129 Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 So....while he still may be * liable * for the debt , if he leaves it all behind then while in another country he pays nothing ? ( except for the tax man ) I don't know the tax laws in other countries but are they as stringent as the IRS in America ? If he doesn't leave a forwarding address, yup.
zicke Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 Debt from country to country does not follow you unless you want it to. Scotland is not going to come after him in the US.
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