elephance Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 If he's timid enough to need you ask him out, are you certain he's the kind of man you want? I thought the same thing. Though I don't that this should be taken as a deficency in his disposition. Some actions on my part might have prevented him from doing so. I saw him Saturday whilst I was waiting for the bus, and he asked me what I was doing at that particular moment. i.e. 'what are you doing now'. I don't know... it sounded to me like he wanted to ask me out then and there whilst he had the chance (had to meet my sister for her birthday, and I was meeting her on the bus, so nothing happened, as I had to dash.) Also, I was so shocked at seeing him that I couldn't compose myself until I was on the bus In saying this though, It also made me think that perhaps the intense attention I described earlier to my colleague was to get her out of the room, so that he could ask, as we were the only three there, oddly enough.
SpikeyChick Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 LOL LOL Oh they are so needy and immature!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just like anywhere else. Hmmm- perhaps you need to take a break from dating for a while. A nice rest in Tasmania ?
SpikeyChick Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 I have decided that I will. You know, it never occured to me to just go ahead and do as such. I was just never certain and I feared the worse. But then at the same time I thought that I had loads of time, but I was in dream mode I suppose. The thing with the colleague really through me though, I must say. Spikeychick... Different perspectives, and perhaps ages? I love Aussies . If you are having problems, girl, get some sound advice from someone you trust. That does NOT include your G/fs or your sisters. BTW I just read your reply above - hmmm, I really think that you should look at your own thought processes and examine your own growth and skill as a woman before you condemn 10 Million Aussie guys as "immature" ..perhaps they are not just all falling at your feet , huh ? The thoughts in your words in the para above sound primitive and unsophisticated, almost adolescent in their blandness . You sure that you are all grown enough and ready to date big guys ? Just saying ..
Author elephance Posted May 26, 2008 Author Posted May 26, 2008 In regards to the quote above, I was simply in a mindset of 'yes' or 'no' and I had forgotten that I was able to take some kind of initiative. Which in some ways is quite embarassing really!
Trialbyfire Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 I thought the same thing. Though I don't that this should be taken as a deficency in his disposition. Some actions on my part might have prevented him from doing so. I saw him Saturday whilst I was waiting for the bus, and he asked me what I was doing at that particular moment. i.e. 'what are you doing now'. I don't know... it sounded to me like he wanted to ask me out then and there whilst he had the chance (had to meet my sister for her birthday, and I was meeting her on the bus, so nothing happened, as I had to dash.) Also, I was so shocked at seeing him that I couldn't compose myself until I was on the bus In saying this though, It also made me think that perhaps the intense attention I described earlier to my colleague was to get her out of the room, so that he could ask, as we were the only three there, oddly enough. I think you have to decide if you want to be the aggressor or not. If a man isn't going to be the aggressor in asking you out, it usually means he's either more of a passive individual, someone who lacks the self-esteem to bounce back from rejection or simply not as interested as you are. In the first situation referenced with a passive individual, you will probably need to continue to be the aggressor, throughout your dating experience with him. In the second situation referenced, you will probably find that you will need to handle him with kid gloves, so as not to hurt him. In the third situation referenced, it will be an exercise in futility, pursuing someone who's not as interested. Anyways, food for thought.
Author elephance Posted May 27, 2008 Author Posted May 27, 2008 I would agree, and perhaps in saying that the entire experience in itself might be considered futile.No one one to walk on eggshells, or be aggressive throughout. I might as well have a relationship with myself! However agressiveness (if I have not already said this) is a disposition of character which one can develop for themselves if they are made aware of it. What do you think?
Trialbyfire Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 I won't disagree that people can change. Most will not, especially when times get tough. Most people revert to their old patterns. It's very true about women always wanting to change men and men not wanting or willing to change. From my perspective, I think it easier to find someone who meets as much of your criteria as possible. It creates a more harmonious relationship, where energies can be focused towards forging a stronger bond, rather than wasted on anger, hurt and frustration. "If he loved me enough, he would change for me." Tends to be the banner call for a lot of women.
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