kimba Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 You made the mistake of thinking that men who want to "talk " to you a lot will want to "f**k" you. Endless talking is a female trait - it is passive. Men talk to exchange information and then to achieve a result or a particular outcome. Women talk to just talk and hopefully form an emotional understanding. IF men did that the human race would have gone extinct eons ago. THis guy is NOT a good candidate and never was because he never escalated the connection betwen you inspite of your green light. WE live and learn. No he didnt escalate he de -accelerated For probably 80% of the time, he has initiated IM, maaybe even 90% over the 9 months , so for most of the time, he has been initiating the talking. What i think is going on is just a classic case of him being interested in me when i was indifferent to him, and now i am interested, he has lost interest.
SpikeyChick Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 What i think is going on is just a classic case of him being interested in me when i was indifferent to him, and now i am interested, he has lost interest. You are making that old mistake of over-analysing a man's actions - we all do this and it is a BIG mistake. I am going to be blunt with you - HE only wanted to "chat" with you. Your "analysis" of his motives and what drives them is pointless and misguided. He did not want you to be any more than a penpal - it is that simple. His behavior is clear on this point. He did not want to be with you THE WOMAN. If he did, he would have moved TOWARD you and you would have NO doubt about his intentions. That is how men do it ,Kimba. Their behavior has a language and it is a clear and precise one IF you drop the girly mushiness that we love to smother it in.. I know that you may feel rejected and let down or frustated and disappointed BUT not all men are going to WANT you. That is just the way it is. That does not make him WRONG - he is entitled to be attracted to whomever he wishes. If it makes you feel better, you can ascribe all manner of perverse and bizarre "reasons" for his actions in avoiding you, BUT ultimately he did not want his connection with you to go any further for HIS OWN REASONS. Let it go now for your own sake..
Author kimba Posted May 27, 2008 Author Posted May 27, 2008 But he WAS attracted to me, he told me. but anyway i'll forget it
Krytie TV Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 He just has no cajones. He keeps trying to get you to make the moves because he doesn't want to, for whatever reason... probably a lcak of confidence. You're better off with someone who at least has the balls to ask you out... especially when you've made your interest clear.
theobserver Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Everyones not the same. Therefore every guy isn't the same. People move at different paces. Before you remove him from your life completely to move on TALK TO HIM. Tell him how you feel, and you don't want to do this game anymore on will we or wont we. To decide now if we're going to take this a step further some men need to be told. It's a new world where women can propose to men, men can cry without shame and sometimes just sometimes a woman must do the chasing. There's a few comments here defining what they feel a man should do well yarda yarda yarda not all men are the same and thank god. If he's serious he should immediately arrange a next meet up now that he can see your needing somewhat of a closure on what you both are doing. If he makes an excuse or says he doesnt see anything serious happening not cut your losses move on. Good Luck
Author kimba Posted May 27, 2008 Author Posted May 27, 2008 said to him on IM yesterday after i dropped yet another hint the day before, that it doesnt seem to me that we are going to meet again. and that i am not sure why sure why, maybe he just want to keep it online and that i would have liked to meet again but he must have his reasons for not. He never replied and is now ignoring me on IM. So ive lost him anyway. I was only stating the freakin obvious. And he should have just said he didnt want to see me again, instead of leading me up the garden path telling me he was interested.
Author kimba Posted May 27, 2008 Author Posted May 27, 2008 Everyones not the same. Therefore every guy isn't the same. People move at different paces. Before you remove him from your life completely to move on TALK TO HIM. Tell him how you feel, and you don't want to do this game anymore on will we or wont we. To decide now if we're going to take this a step further some men need to be told. It's a new world where women can propose to men, men can cry without shame and sometimes just sometimes a woman must do the chasing. There's a few comments here defining what they feel a man should do well yarda yarda yarda not all men are the same and thank god. If he's serious he should immediately arrange a next meet up now that he can see your needing somewhat of a closure on what you both are doing. If he makes an excuse or says he doesnt see anything serious happening not cut your losses move on. Good Luck thanks but i think i have buggered it up now anyway, even saying what i said to him, let alone having a straight out talk like you suggested.
Recommended Posts