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Posted

Yeah i still think about 'a year ago'

 

although one year ago i was devasted as its about 13 months since its happened, i have come so far in a year, i really love who i am.

 

When i get thinking about her, i miss her still, and wish that things were different. I do wish she was still in my life, i wish it never ended so 'finally' and i wish it wasn't so heartbreaking and devastating - as it really changed me, it really put a sad spot inside me, a part of me that will always mourn what happened as i don't think our friendship will ever be repaired.

 

I also think that if i my wishes came true, would i be even be able to be her friend? would it take sometime and getting used to but after that would it be good to have her as a friend and feel just fine with it?

 

My honest opinion would be..well no. It was too hard to go through to have her as a friend again and a potential threat to my wellbeing again and probably the same for her.

 

I do love her so much as a person, i love her spirit and soul, and its a really lovely thing to feel, it doesnt hurt me. Living in the past and getting lost in time is what hurts me.

 

I wonder a lot if i will ever completely let her go, and not feel the need to think about her anymore, but i don't know if i will ever let that happen, and if i really am able to.

 

However i havnt fallen in love again yet, i havnt gone and done the things that i really desire yet, so i have those to go through which i'm sure will open new perspectives and new beginings.

 

I still hurt though, i do. However it is more at myself for letting it happen.

I dealt with a lot, i dealt with anger for myself, anger for her, and disolved it however, i dont think it has been the right time to deal with my own forgivness, i think that is something i need to focus on! & i think i know how to start.

 

I know i will see her again, i just know.

I don't know how it will go, or what will happen though.

 

time will tell.

 

Jmina

 

p.s. can i have some perspectives or opinions about this that might help? thankyou!

Posted

a year ago (memorial day weekend) I was on the road , moving nearly 2,000 miles to be with the 'love of my life' who threw me under a bus less than a month later..............

 

hopefully once this 'a year ago' time is over I can finally move on......

Posted

A year ago I was in pretty much the same situation that I'm in right now, nothing special going on with my life, just looking forward to my next random hook-up. Not a care in the world.

 

In early June, however, I would meet the only girl I've cared about in years. Was totally indifferent towards her for the 2 months we were together and then realized I loved her a little too late to make it work again. I actually swept pride aside and went out of my way to try to get her back to no avail, so I was back to being myself soon after that.

 

One month from now, she's moving back to Michigan to move in with her ex-BF... I, too, have an awesome memory. I'll never forget her, though I doubt she'll ever think of me again.

 

I'm still an awesome dude, though.

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