Karyyk Posted May 30, 2008 Posted May 30, 2008 Well, I had one question answered. I kept asking myself if maybe I was wrong about her, if maybe she wasn't the way she seemed, if I could maybe salvage a friendship out of it at the very least (which is something she seems interested in doing). The answer is no. I found out that a friend of mine messaged her via MySpace right after I had broken things off, basically asking her why. She responded to him (the day before she called me) by basically painting me out as someone I'm not, almost an obsessive ogre who forced things on her. She even went so far as to say that I had *FORCED* the money on her (how can you force someone to cash/deposit a check?), even though she asked me for it whenever she needed help and asked for more when her lousy ex-husband stopped paying child support. Apparently she had written several paragraphs, all negative, but I asked him to stop telling me about it. I don't need to know. The honorable, honest thing to have done would just been to have told him that it was unfortunate that things didn't work out, that we just weren't right for each other, but that I was a good guy and that I had been there for her (the only one there for her) during a very rough period of her life. She won't even admit that though. She's so self-righteous about everything and sees no fault in herself whatsoever, despite the fact that I've accepted the blame due me and had been trying to give her the benefit of the doubt. Apparently I was giving her too much, as always. I know now that I do not want to be friends, I want nothing to do with her. I will not call her and if she calls me, I will not answer. This chapter of my life is closed, it has been closed, it won't be opened again. That doesn't mean I'm not going to still hurt. There are some things I have to deal with, the regret of feeling like I've given my life to someone who wasn't worth it, the sorrow of knowing that a little girl that I treated like my own daughter probably believes that I've abandoned her and just the pain that comes from loneliness. I never wanted this, but the bridge is burnt. There's nothing to go back to now.
ozira Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 God Bless you. How weird is it that the 'good' guys pair up with the 'bad' girls and vice versa. I would really like to work this one out. More power to you, you have your head screwed on the right way and you are still young. There is the right woman out there for you. Take care.
BiAxident Posted June 1, 2008 Posted June 1, 2008 I have no intentions of calling her, but if she calls me, I'm pretty sure I won't be able to not answer. Yeah...I'm a wimp. I'm the same way. Not only do I not answer calls from my ex-GF, I delete the voicemails she leaves before her voice even emits from the phone. I also started a new e-mail account so I won't even see her name on the screen. No contact!
Author Karyyk Posted June 4, 2008 Author Posted June 4, 2008 What a difference a few days make. I'm now tempted to call her again...even after this. I don't know what it is. I'm going through a lot of other stuff right now, stuff she has no idea about and it would just be good to have someone to talk to about random things, to get my mind off of it. I have absolutely no intentions of getting back together with her on any romantic level, but I miss the friendship, I'd like to know how her daughter is doing, etc. I find it incredibly difficult to let go of any relationship, romantic or otherwise, and in fact, one of the closest platonic female friends I have now broke my heart once upon a time. I feel so confused, so conflicted. This is more difficult that I ever thought it would be, though I know that's had something to do with a lot of the other things that have caught me off-guard...way off-guard. I seem to battling myself on every matter, and it's wearing me down. Life is wearing me down in general.
Recommended Posts