heartoutside Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 So I didn't go to the meeting.....I figured it's my birthday forget that....so who knows if she even went. But I spent the day with some friends and earlier this evening my ex sent me a text saying "Happy Birthday!" At first I didn't even realize it was her because her name and number have been deleted from my phone, so only her number showed up when she called, so it took me a second to figure out who it was... I didn't reply, but then I thought about it and I figured what the hell....I'm not expect a reply back and I won't send her a text on her birthday, which is in a few days. So I simply wrote back thanks. Nothing more, nothing less. I just can't figure why she would send me a text!? But I'm not going to dwell on it....she sent it and that is that.....nothing more and nothing less... I've spent the last year dealing with this mess. She broke up with me about 2 weeks after our birthdays, so basically it's been almost a year since we first broke up and almost 6 months since we broke up after getting back together. And I told my friends today that I've spent a year dealing with this mess and it's time to just start a new year and put this all in the past..... Time will tell.....
tealeafbud Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 You were right in not responding. Good job. She's probably wondering why you didn't respond. And you know why? Because you are super strong man.
v33 Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 Don't answer the text. Just ignore it. Agreed. It's been months since you have had any contact? Just let it be... moving on is moving on. If you two were going to be pals you wouldn't have gone so long without talking. No blame, just saying. Just continue as if she no longer exists.
Author heartoutside Posted June 2, 2008 Author Posted June 2, 2008 I didn't think it would get to me this much, but her actually sending me that text yesterday I think has set me back a little. I"m hoping it's just a temporary set back. I just can't figure out what she's up too....and I don't want to try to, but I keep trying to. In the past month or so she's done a few things to try to keep contact with me, or get me to contact her at least. One was leaving a note for me at work asking me to drop off an item of hers at her new place that I still had, or to give it to our friend. I totally ignored it, and trashed it, and still have the item. The 2nd thing she did was again leave a little thing on my basket at work, a piece of mail address to a girl I used to be involved with way way back when at our work (who no longer lives here or works here, but for some reason she got a random piece of junk mail that found it's way to my basket). So after my not having said a word to her in 2 months, now almost 3, and not seeing her in almost 5 months (except once), she sends me a text on my birthday, WHY?!? It's funny, because our friends keep telling me about the guy she's dating now, how he has zero looks, and zero personality. He doesn't talk to anyone and all our friends could careless for him. ugh, anyway, i hope this will pass. It didn't help that I had a dream last night that she and I got back together.....
CaliGuy Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 So after my not having said a word to her in 2 months, now almost 3, and not seeing her in almost 5 months (except once), she sends me a text on my birthday, WHY?!? A better question to you is "Why do you care?" Who cares what she is doing or what she thinks. I think it's rude of her to send you that message. You have been following no contact. But if I had to guess, she's tossing a crumb out there hoping you take it. The second you do you will only server to boost her self-esteem and destroy yours. What's more important to you? It's funny, because our friends keep telling me about the guy she's dating now, how he has zero looks, and zero personality. He doesn't talk to anyone and all our friends could careless for him. I think your friends are rude for telling you about the guy she is dating. They should have enough respect for you to avoid the subject. The next time they bring her up, ask them to kindly not talk about it. ugh, anyway, i hope this will pass. It didn't help that I had a dream last night that she and I got back together..... You need to stop obsessing over her. None of this is helpful to you. You are focused on your past and NOT your present and future. It doesn't matter what she is doing or what she is up to. All that matters is you get YOUR life into focus.
Author heartoutside Posted June 2, 2008 Author Posted June 2, 2008 I've actually been doing really well not even thinking about her as of late so I wouldn't say I'm obsessing. But this has kind of sent me for a loop and was something I didn't expect. If you compared me to the guy I was almost a year ago, I would say I've done well.......and come a long way, I would even say I'm probably a better man, and person because of this whole thing. But, for example, I just got another text from her a short while ago asking me if I would like to have a b-day drink with her. This is the kind of crazy crap I've been dealing with for the past year! She also a few weeks back tried adding my brother as a friend on facebook. As for my friends, they certainly aren't rude and I know that's not their intention. I think they just feel that it's over with so there's no point in having to hide things from me..... I know my focus is me and the future, but we all have moments of weakness and something may at times bring us back to the past like it or not.
CaliGuy Posted June 2, 2008 Posted June 2, 2008 I've actually been doing really well not even thinking about her as of late so I wouldn't say I'm obsessing. But this has kind of sent me for a loop and was something I didn't expect. If you compared me to the guy I was almost a year ago, I would say I've done well.......and come a long way, I would even say I'm probably a better man, and person because of this whole thing. But, for example, I just got another text from her a short while ago asking me if I would like to have a b-day drink with her. This is the kind of crazy crap I've been dealing with for the past year! She also a few weeks back tried adding my brother as a friend on facebook. As for my friends, they certainly aren't rude and I know that's not their intention. I think they just feel that it's over with so there's no point in having to hide things from me..... I know my focus is me and the future, but we all have moments of weakness and something may at times bring us back to the past like it or not. Just ignore, ignore, ignore. For your own health and well-being, ignore every attempt she makes to contact you. I'm telling you, these are breadcrumbs of attention. Table scraps. If you're fine with that being all you ever receive from her, then by all means reply back. But if you respect yourself, you'll not reply at all.
Author heartoutside Posted June 2, 2008 Author Posted June 2, 2008 OH, I don't intend to reply......it would be pointless.
Author heartoutside Posted June 3, 2008 Author Posted June 3, 2008 So you would think that after not talking for 3 months and not seeing each other for 4 or 5 she would get the idea that I don't want her in my life. But after sending that one text about the drinks, and my not replying she sent another one. "Sorry if I made the mistake by texting you. I thought we could play nice but whenever you're ready. Sorry." I naturally don't reply. I received this text after her roommate (who is also a good friend of mine) came by to give me a birthday gift. But she also handed me a pile of family pics from a trip that I took my ex on with my family (a trip she loved!). My friend told me that my ex just left them with the gifts at their place, didn't tell her roommate to take them or anything. I just don't get it.....whats the point, why. This is the same crap she pulled last time..... I'm not obsessing over her...i'm done with her, but I just want to know why she can't seem to let me just walk away. I mean I know that I'm a million times cooler then the guy she's dating now and she probably knows she made the biggest mistake of her life by leaving, she even said so when we got back together.... I guess she just needs help and I'm don't need to be the one to save her.....
Trialbyfire Posted June 3, 2008 Posted June 3, 2008 If you've told her clearly and definitively that you want to be left alone and she's not listening, all you can do is block as much correspondence as you can and ignore the rest. You're still thinking too much about what she's thinking. You need to get to the point where her thoughts don't matter.
Author heartoutside Posted June 3, 2008 Author Posted June 3, 2008 I guess you could say I'm just confused as to why someone would act this way? I'm not really wondering what she's thinking. It kind of dawned on me this morning that I really don't love her any more, that she's put me through way too much crap and can't seem to understand her choice. The idea that I was actually a week away from asking her to marry me kind of freaks me out now.....really freaks me out!
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