bigmanpayne Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 again, thanks everybody for your help. i already have custody. i do and will make her pay her support through the court. i think that is what she wants me to do anyway. she doesnt want the OM to know that she pays the support (of her own free will) so i think she would rather have a court order come to their house so that she "has no choice" and he wont bug her about it. its sad. believe me, nobody would condone what she is doing. she lies to everyone and tells them that she sees the kids, etc. but she really doesnt. i am beating a dead drum, everybody now knows what and who see is, it is as ive always said, frustrating. i know i have probably been overacting here, but like i said before i am not a person who plays games. i dont look for attention from people, dont steal things, or look to hurt someone who i actually love all for my own benefit. thats why this crap puzzles me so much. if this situation were reversed, i would never do that crap whether i wanted her back or not. anyway, thanks for all your suggestions and help you dont know how much it helps.
Author bigmanpayne Posted June 4, 2008 Author Posted June 4, 2008 I ran into a bit of a problem this past weekend and i wanted to share it. i am embarrased by my actions and the actions of my ex and her boyfriend... I ended up going over to my ex and the OM's house. i just wanted to talk to her about some bills (including taxes) that we jointly have, and the fact that my daughter said something about killing herself (she's 10), and toher stuff but, it turned into something else. both of them were laughing and the OM says a few smart remarks (while he thought he was protected inside of the house) so when she opened the door an dlet me in, i went after the OM. i didnt hurt him, but he did end up on the ground with me saying "say something else" and him replying "i won't, i promise, i'm sorry." normally a grown mand acting that way would be funny to me, but i felt so embarrased. this is the man who she has left me for? i went on to yell at both of them about how old my kids were and how they didnt deserve this. he ran into his room and closed the door, my ex just looked at me and yelled... "I hate you!" then i just left. i guess my anger just got the better of me. i hate my kids feeling the way they do and my ex just laughing it off or just continuing to do what she is doing while they hurt as bad as they do. as i was driving away with my cousin in my car laughing about the OM and my ex i just felt ashamed that i was even in that situation and embarrased that my ex ever left my kids and i for this weak man. what if i was crazy... would he even protect her from me? he ran into his room and left her to deal with me all by herself... and that kills me. of course i would never touch her, but how would he know that? and why does he talk so slick to me when he is obviously scared to death? when they stole my shoes i could hear him in the background laughing and making snide comments... why? before i went to their (his) house i had talked to her on the phone a few times. After all of this trouble she has caused me she won't even meet with me or talk on the phone with my kids or i for more than 5 minutes. when i called her mothers house they just picked the phone up and hung up. it makes me wonder what i have done to her that is so horrible that her or her mother doesnt want to see my kids or speak to me or them no matter what. i swear i have never cheated on her or done anything to her that would warrant this treatment. i ask her (my ex) for 10 minutes of her time (to go over some bills, kids needs, etc.) and she refused to meet me anywhere. when we talked on the phone she would hang up anytime i mentioned me not wanting to be with her, or she would hang up after i asked her "why are you acting like this?" i know i am wrong. i should never put myself in a situation like i did, that is irresponsible because if something happens to me, my kids are the ones who will suffer. i had been on NC for a couple months and putting this whole situation behind me but when she started doing all of those crazy things it made me crazy and sucked me back in. the divorce will be over soon and i am not calling her, or going to contact her at all hopefully forever. this situation is just absolutely driving me crazy. how do i deal with putting her behind me, and better yet how do i deal with helping the kids put her behind them as well? it's obvious that she just doesn't want to be bothered with them at all.
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