Fran1961 Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 Hi, We had a great weekend. Friday night when shopping at the mall. Saturday spend the whole day together doing yard work. Yesterday had a party for my daughter (26 years old) and things seemed good. Today she appeared angry and when I asked she said it was because she wanted to talk about splitting up everything evenly since we got married. She talked some more and she is definitely ready to move on with her life. I asked why did you tell me on that day she did and it was because she had found a place to live but now that place is gone. I really want to save it if I can but it unfortunately is sounding like her mind is made up and I can't seem to do anything to change it. I was hoping that the way the beginning of the weekend went that things might be a tad better. Doesn't appear the first part of the weekend meant anything to her. Thanks for reading. Any comments?
Mr. Lucky Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 I was hoping that the way the beginning of the weekend went that things might be a tad better. Doesn't appear the first part of the weekend meant anything to her. Fran, you need to come to terms with what's going on. Most people, your wife included, don't make life altering plans based on the quality of their Saturday morning. Your wife has obviously had some time to reflect on the course of action she's chosen and it sounds as though her mind is made up. Additionally, you're driving her away even faster since every time she is nice to you it's misinterpreted by you as a desire to reconcile. If she hasn't already, she'll soon simply drop any pretense of civility so you won't keep getting the wrong idea. This is why I don't think that "separated but living in the same house" can work. Too much history, too many trappings of marriage, too many memories. One of you should move out, sooner rather than later. Like it or not, you're going to have to find out what the future holds... Mr. Lucky
LakesideDream Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Hi, We had a great weekend. Friday night when shopping at the mall. Saturday spend the whole day together doing yard work. Yesterday had a party for my daughter (26 years old) and things seemed good. Today she appeared angry and when I asked she said it was because she wanted to talk about splitting up everything evenly since we got married. She talked some more and she is definitely ready to move on with her life. I asked why did you tell me on that day she did and it was because she had found a place to live but now that place is gone. I really want to save it if I can but it unfortunately is sounding like her mind is made up and I can't seem to do anything to change it. I was hoping that the way the beginning of the weekend went that things might be a tad better. Doesn't appear the first part of the weekend meant anything to her. Thanks for reading. Any comments? Fran, Welcome to the world of Walk Away Wives. There is a reason you are not getting the answers here at LS that you are looking for. Reason? You have no reason for hope. Your wife has checked out of the marriage. She did it some time back, she just delayed telling you until the time was right for her. There is absolutely nothing you can do about the loss of your marriage. There is almost Zero chance of marital survival. All you can do about the situation is to realize what's happpening, and act accordingly to protect yourself and begin to create a future. Oh and just for fun.. put a keylogger on your computer. You will find out soon enough who the other man is.
Author Fran1961 Posted July 9, 2008 Author Posted July 9, 2008 Hi, Just to give an update. Last night actually on the 2 month anniversary of her announcement that she wanted to go her own way we had a very emotional discussion. It started out as I needed to confront her about a suspected situation going on with her ex-husband. My hunch was correct and she has seen him but in her words it only progressed to kissing at this time. She says she is truly sorry that it occurred and didn't want to hurt me. As our conversation continued we both opened up about our marriage and the things that we both had not done to make it work like we had hoped. One big item was lack of communication from both of us and my lack of affection for her. We agreed to both work at the marriage for the next 5 months and see along the way how our progress is going. We both have even agreed to see a couples therapist. Quite a reversal for her from before. She said she changed her mind to give us one last shot so that she can feel she did her all to try an make it work. One thing that I say to her was that I needed some time to confront my feelings about her and the ex. Also about her lying to me about both the state of our marriage and her sneaking around. Right this minute I don't have any bad feelings about her and the ex and the level that they got to. Which I'm puzzled by since I feel that I should be irate but maybe since they only kissed (her words) my mind isn't thinking worst. I'm wondering if I'll be able to handle it when she is late coming home or gone out to run errands. Any advice on ways to cope with the infidelity or suggestions on ways to progress with our marriage in the next 5 months? Also any ideas to help restore the spark between a couple? Thanks for reading.
Recommended Posts