Author confuzed25 Posted May 27, 2008 Author Posted May 27, 2008 i have no respect for players out there....since when is it ok to hurt someone's feelings, give them false hope, lie to them, and sneak around behind their back? Put yourself in their shoes.....just imagine you are looking for love and you think you have found a really great guy or girl. You are walking in the clouds you are so happy thinking you finally found a good one....he or she says all the right things, makes you feel like you will never be unhappy again. They promise to never hurt you, and they make plans for the future. Then suddenly you find out they are seeing someone else behind your back and you realize it was all just a lie and you fell for it. You realize that you were a joke and they are laughing at you behind your back. They never meant anything they said to you....instead its given them such an ego boost to know that they can get all these people to fall for them. They lie and lie to you when you ask them if there is someone else, they try to turn it around on you to make it look like you are crazy. Yea that just happened to me...just like that. It only lasted 2 and a half months but it has hurt my feelings, damaged me, and caused me to lose more trust and be more insecure than any of my 4 long term relationships. If you are a person who does not want commitment JUST BE HONEST. There are other people out there who dont want commitment either and will have no strings attached sex with you. Dont be scum of the earth and damage people for your own pleasure
Citizen Erased Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Men like you describe are not only good at fooling women, they are also good at fooling their friends that they are happy in that lifestyle. Deep down inside, these men are empty and searching for a true connection and happiness in life. They are sad inside, cool and happy on the outside. I really doubt that.
Replicant Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 When I hear stories of cheating women and walkaway wives it sends me into panic mode. If everybody around seems to be getting a disease you start to worry when you will catch it yourself. If your wife is happy, why would she cheat? The rest really is conspiracy theories as to 'What could happen' (worst case scenarios). Why adopt that method of thinking?
Citizen Erased Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 They're so good at their own game, they have you fooled, too. The game's on them. Players are the lonliest people. No-one has fooled me. I just think you give the jerks too much credit. They tend to be good looking, reasonably well off, and with good families. They could have a girlfriend if they wanted. But they don't. They would much prefer to have random hook ups with random girls then have a meaningful relationship.
Citizen Erased Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 When I hear stories of cheating women and walkaway wives it sends me into panic mode. If everybody around seems to be getting a disease you start to worry when you will catch it yourself. Everyone seems to have an emo fringe, sure as hell won't make me go out and get one You have no changed one bit Woggle. You should never have married your wife.
Woggle Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Most players I know are very happy and they enjoy the constant affection from women they owe nothing to.
Lovelybird Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Most players I know are very happy and they enjoy the constant affection from women they owe nothing to. those are the ones whose consciense already broken
Woggle Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 those are the ones whose consciense already broken Life is a lot better without a heart.
Lovelybird Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Life is a lot better without a heart. then they would lack tremendous real life and real joy
Krytie TV Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 They think that, because they are fearful of love, and are unfulfilled. Random hookups means they are getting bad sex with bodies. Like I said, they are good at fooling others into bed, but they aren't fooling themselves. They know they're not happy.l You alone have the gift of knowing what every player is truly thinking? Wow... nice. Congrats.
Woggle Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Most players tried their hands at love and were burnt but the process learned a lot about women. They use this knowledge to get what they want. No man understands women more than players because they know to get inside a woman's head and twist around to their advantage.
amerikajin Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 I'm in agreement with Woggs. You could say that players are insecure, but honestly, I wouldn't say that players aren't happy about being single. I mean, if they wanted to be in a relationship, they'd probably be in one. There are times when players are alone, but it doesn't last long. By contrast, the guys who get divorced get gutted emotionally, financially and by the legal system.
Woggle Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 I'm in agreement with Woggs. You could say that players are insecure, but honestly, I wouldn't say that players aren't happy about being single. I mean, if they wanted to be in a relationship, they'd probably be in one. There are times when players are alone, but it doesn't last long. By contrast, the guys who get divorced get gutted emotionally, financially and by the legal system. So true. George Clooney and Simon Cowell seem much happier than Paul Mcartney these days. Paul hit the Lottery with Linda so why was he dumb enough tot hink it would happen again?
carhill Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Is it more likely a man will become a player after a painful divorce/breakup? Or, is that psychology intrinsic and a man will exhibit those characteristics throughout his life? IOW, is a man born a player? Generically, I tend to view the player psychology as a form of sociopathy, trending towards the benign end of the range, and have long wondered if such psychologies are primarily nature, or does nurture (family dynamics as a child) play a marked role in defining the propensity for such behaviors, even if not immediately exhibited until triggered by a relationship dynamic. Personally, and I've tried hard and have a background/interest in psychology, I've been unable to manipulate my behaviors to become what apparently is described here as a player. The cognitive mindset works for awhile, but it's not pervasive enough to last. I always revert back to my more empathetic, nurturing personality, which, even though has apparently been unattractive to women, I can't really help being. Conversely, I wonder if players might try finding a middle road, but just can't help reverting back to their baseline psychology. Maybe I really do envy players; grass is greener and all that....
Woggle Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 I have a friend who is a player and he said his motuvation is the fact that the more he learned about the more he loathed them. This is why feels no guilt using them to get what he wants and he feels that being the nice guy and treating women well is a losing game. I am not as extreme as him but if a man does not win the lottery it is a good option. I refer to finding a genuinely good woman as winning the lottery because it is that rare.
underpants Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 So true. George Clooney and Simon Cowell seem much happier than Paul Mcartney these days. Paul hit the Lottery with Linda so why was he dumb enough tot hink it would happen again? Poor Paul. He probably didn't have a prior disappointment to measure against. Linda and him were one of the great couples. They had a great relationship for a long time. That I would think is more satisfying then a string of repeated dissappointments or temporary moments that all end. Warren Beaty finally settled. That is what it seemed like to me. However, maybe they are happy or making it work. He just seems so reserved. The life long 'player' types that I know in real life aren't too happy...later. Not as they get older and they can't pull in the numbers that they used to. The pool gets smaller, their rep gets damaged, younger women find them icky or a meal ticket, the older ones are wiser and don't want anything to do with it. Or they attract like and get used back. A few do 'settle' and it is usually a superficial settle that doesn't last too long. Commitmentphobia sets in. One man I know is now in his 60s, a third failed marriage and he has turned to the bottle. Another is just plain scary looking, alone and spends his days in the nostalgia of his youthful memories. There is a cost to that lifestyle. We all have to deal with ourselves at some point. I think you reap what you sow. I will admit some of that mental stuff works. Alot doesn't and can backfire. The trick I would suggest is to use some of the more harmless seducing techniques on a genuine woman that has a good heart to which you want a relationship with. Woggs, you have a good one. Cherish it and romance her silly.
twice_shy Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 After my first divorce I tried being a player and I just cound't do it. As much as I bash women on this board my heart won't let me use women as toys and then throw them away though I admire men who can. I wish I could be as heartless and cold as some men I know are with women because it is a very liberating and freeing existance when you no longer care about a woman's love. Players don't have to worry about coming home one day and having their wife drop the divorce bomb on them. They don't have to worry about a woman who resents the hell out of them and blames them for all their unhappiness. I see good men crying all the time after getting their hearts ripped while players have the time of their life using women as toys. I really wish I was heartless enough to live that life but I am not. Well that was kinda extreme there Wogs. I would have thought you'd say you admire players because women fall for them. I too won't become one. As far as being heartless enough to live life like that, I don't want that for myself. However, I WILL be heartless if I ever find out someone I am seeing is messing around. Won't be a tear shed. Her bags will be packed, she'll be out the door, and no looking back. Just like the woman I was seeing for a while. I caught her flirting her ass off while with some friends. We are talking way too much touching. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, didn't care if she went out with friends, and she proved she couldn't handle the situation. I caught her when I went to have a drink with a friend of mine who is going through a divorce himself. When I caught her, she immediately separated herself from the guy she was fooling with and gave me the old, "wow, when did you get here?" She followed me out groveling and I just told her it was over. She has called, I won't answer, I am done. So this is the only time I'm going to be heartless. I won't do it to someone that gives me no reason to doubt them. And I would hate for you, Woggle, to be the same way.
lino Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 They had a great relationship for a long time. That I would think is more satisfying then a string of repeated dissappointments or temporary moments that all end. That it is, I know very well what it feels like. The players that I know are very happy and eventually they do get into LTRs that they are happy in too. Girls like guys like these so they never have problems with getting into a loving R.
twice_shy Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Players are fake people and I hate FAKE. Also, in order to "play" effectively, you need to be on the go all the time and you need a decent amount of $$$. The grass isn't always greener. Are you sure you're not my ex-girlfriend? Ya, but the women fall all over these players, then declare men scum and that there are no good ones out there once the player dumps them or cheats.
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