ZenSilk Posted May 26, 2008 Posted May 26, 2008 Ms Crazy, if you're having so many fights, if he's pushed you before, if he's gonna talk about suicide... then it's not just co-dependency, he's abusing you emotionally if he makes you responsible for his sanity or insanity. You can't threaten anyone with suicide, that's a horrible thing to do. And very immature, too. It sounds like what you need, truly, is get out of that relationship and find yourself for a while. Discover that you don't *have* to be in a relationship to be happy. A relationship will give you many things, yes, but you can be fine on your own. Find out what you like, find out what you stand for, gain some self-confidence and a sense of self-worth. If you get a feeling for *yourself* while being single, you'll manage to not get into relationships too quickly, not depend on the other person for your emotional stability, and compromise on the things you want, not make anything to make the other person happy. This, however, will take some time. You can't learn this from one day to the other, and at some point you'll have to learn some of this in a relationship too. But start by enjoying the time alone... otherwise you'll find yourself in the arms of the wrong people just to not be alone! Deary, I found your story really interesting. Timing issues are a real pain, and then you have your situation all figured out but then at the same time it's really tough to decide what to do. Looks like hanging on to co-dependency is not the healthy way to go. So going back to Mr. Big would mean a lot of work for you, but also work that would do you good. In fact, even if that R should, for some reason, not work out, at the end at least you would've worked on your issues and would be stronger to pursue your life on your own or in another relationship. On the other hand, your current relationship sounds pretty serious, and throwing that away seems risky. If I was in your situation, I would take my time to really think this through and figure out what I wanted. What is going to be the best for you in the long run? Would you get back with Mr. Big too light-heartedly? What kind of expectations would you have from that relationship? Could you work on the co-dependency issue with your current bf?
Deary Posted May 29, 2008 Posted May 29, 2008 Thank you ZenSilk for your gracious and thoughtful reply to my post. Your insight into my situation is spot on. I appreciate the questions that you pose because they are exactly the ones that I need to focus on in making this decision. Also, thank you for not dismissing my current relationship because it is one that I tremendously care about. Your post has been very helpful! I'll try to keep you updated!
Author ZenSilk Posted May 29, 2008 Author Posted May 29, 2008 You're welcome, Deary! I'm really looking forward to your updates
Recommended Posts